Culture

28 Dichos Your Mom Told You That Made You Need Therapy

As we’ve made our way into mainstream culture, we’ve inevitably had a non-Latino friend shooketh at the shit our moms put us through. They said one day we’d thank them, and this is mitú’s tribute to all the cray cray and our present day thoughts.

How many of these did your mom say? Comment with any we missed!

1. “When I was your age…”

It’s an oldie but a goodie. When Mama was my age, she could only afford to eat one slice of New York pizza a day and modeling for Barbizon three buses across the city. And I’m just “eating shit” on the computer (welcome to 2018, ma’, life and work is on the computer!).

2. “I have to do everything because you can’t do anything right.”

Response: a sarcastic smile and sarcastic bow to the queen.

Yeah, she’s going to hit you for that one.

3. “You don’t know how to turn the tortilla but you want a boyfriend.”

YES, MOM. Any boy that’s with me is going to have to flip their own tortilla. #Feminism

4. “See, I told you.”

“Ok, but I literally just fell out of a tree and broke my leg. Please, help?”

5. “Do you think I was born yesterday?”

hated when I heard this because it meant that my mom had made up some elaborate conspiracy theory that I had to disprove. I sweaaaar, we’re not up to anything! We’re angels! ?

6. “God will punish you.”

When you did something so “bad” that she is just too disgusted to deal with you and let’s slip these three words: ?

7. “This house isn’t your hotel.”

Or better yet, “Do you think I’m your maid?” We’re children. We play with LEGOS. Let us be.

8. “Because I’m your mother.”

The jig is up folks. You think you’ve got logic and reason on your side, but as soon as she whips this one out, it’s all over. Don’t even try to argue.

9. “Son of a ____”

Filter? What filter? You mom has probably called you this to your face, pero liike, what is she saying about herself? ?

10. “Calm down before I make you calm down.”

I have chills. The full effect is in Spanish and I vow to never say this to my children. A variation might be, “Stop crying before I give you something to cry about.” YEESH.

11. “Who asked you?”

Oh you have an opinion, eh? Keep it to yourself, estupida. Do you need therapy yet? Let’s keep going.

12. “Do what you want”

Alright, so that sounds supportive right? Nope. This is code for “It’s your choice, but it’s a terrible one and I will chew you out alive if you go through with this.”

13. “Because you’re a fool”

Someone help me translate this. Basically, your mom was just like, “by way of you being a fool, of course this happened.” Two words can pack a punch.

14. Literal translation: “Go with caution.”

What she’s actually saying: “I’m this close to beating the shit out of you. Be careful what you say next.”

15. Literally, “Take that face off or you’ll see how it’s going to go in the house.”

What she’s actually saying: “Lose the sour face or we’ll see how it really looks when we get home (and I can explode in the privacy of our home).”

16. “Come so I can give you something to cry about.”

Sometimes, when I was sobbing, my mom would just pinch me really hard or yank my ear and tell me, “this is what real pain feels like.” OK, at this point, I’m concerned that my younger self but I promise she’s a really sweet lady.

17. “Who gave you permission to leave, eh?”

Your free will is a privilege in this house, you hear me? Never leave the house without permission.

18. “Sit better, you’re a lady.”

Yeah, your mom can talk about how your brothers need to take up all the space in the backseat so their fcking cojones can breath and I’m supposed to shrink. #NoGracias #SmashThePatriarchy #ImNoLady

19. “Get your shit together.”

You probably heard this around your school work a lot, and while your mom would not tutor you in anything but Spanish class, she always had this wise dicho for you. Thanks, mom!

20. “You already greeted everyone?”

There is nothing more important that your mom showing off the perfect gentleman or señorita she raised. You must greet everyone on each cheek or she’ll get you.

21. “Oh but last night it’s all party.”

This one comes at you early Saturday morning when she barges in your room with the cleaning supplies at 7am and you say you’re tired. I don’t know where Latina moms get their energy but maybe it comes with age? I’m praying.

22. “I’m mopping, don’t touch the floor!”

Is that a trick question? Nope! When el trapeando begins, the floor is lava and if you touch it you’ll feel the wrath of a thousand volcanos. It was the perfect excuse to stay on the couch and watch TV. 🙂

23. “Como que what, tell me mande.”

Never tell your Mexican mother, ‘como que.’ It’s a cardinal sin. Always say ‘mande’ if you want to keep your life.

24. “Be nice.”

You know how when you’re invited somewhere, it’s not about you, it’s about keeping up appearances. Well, she don’t care if you’re in a bad mood, your mama is going to tell you to be nice and shut down your mood. #ReasonsWhyWereCodependent

25. “Turn down the music, you’re going to become deaf.”

I truly believed my mom when she told me that as Avril Lavigne was blasting through my boom box. Like, I seriously feared I was going deaf.

26. “If I find it, you’re in trouble.”

Here’s your next move: run to your room, pray to St. Anthony that she never finds it and that you find it, and then pray to the Virgin Mary that your mom has mercy on you.

27. “I do everything for you and this is how you repay me?”

Usually, you’re feeling pretty shitty at this point, because it’s true. Our moms do everything for us, and Latina moms seem to sacrifice more than anyone, and give endlessly to us. I can hear my mom telling me this right now after reading this article. ?

.

.

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I’M SO SORRY. TE AMO.

28. “What are you going to do the day I die?”

Moms love to talk about the day the die as leverage for forgiveness, or, in probably most cases, as a way to manipulate us into gratitude. Pero verdad, we can’t think about that day because we love our crazy ass moms so much, that the thought of a drama-free life feels like death to us. #VivaLaMama!

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

A Doorbell Camera Captured The Terrifying Moment A Neighbor Saved A Family From Their burning home

Things That Matter

A Doorbell Camera Captured The Terrifying Moment A Neighbor Saved A Family From Their burning home

braclark / Getty

A family from Arizona has tragically been without a home since New Year’s Day. Fortunately, however, thanks to the swift efforts of a neighbor, they still have each other.

On New Year’s Day, the Salgado family was asleep in their home in Avondale, Arizona when they heard a frantic knock at their door. Nicole Salgado’s husband, who lived in the home with their children, opened the front door to find her neighbor shouting at her to get her family out of the house. It was on fire.

The Salgado family woke up New Year’s Day to find their house in flames.

nicolenevarez5 / TikTok

“We were all asleep,” Salgado explained to CNN in an interview. “Then all of the sudden around 7:30 in the morning, we hear banging on our door and our doorbell is going off and we kind of get scared.”

Their neighbor, Carolyn Palisch, was there telling them to get out of the house. Footage from the family’s home security video shows their neighbor running past flames to get to the home.

“He opened the door and all I heard was our neighbor Carolyn saying your house is on fire you have to get out,” said Salgado.

Salgado, who is a mother to four children, hurried to gather her children. Together, all of them escaped the burning home safely. “It was just kind of frantic at first, making sure we got everyone out and the dogs out,” she explained. “Then once we realized the full extent of it we were just in shock as we watched our home burn.”

Sadly, the Salgado family lost all their belongings in the fire

Salgado explained that the roof of her house collapsed moments after they escaped. According to CNN, firefighters at the scene claimed that if the family had still been sleeping at the time the roof had collapsed they would have inhaled the smoke and likely passed out immediately.

We are so thankful to just be alive,” Salgado explained in a post to her TikTook page. She also included doorbell camera footage of the moment their neighbor came to the rescue.

Salgado’s video has been liked nearly 7 million times on TikTok.

“Never did we think it was going to blow up the way it did. But we are so grateful,” Salgado explained. “We are so glad it did for Carol, to show how amazing she is. If it wasn’t for her it’d be a totally different story. We feel so thankful to her. We’re always going to consider her family. She not only saved us, she saved our kids.”

Salgado says that the cause of the fire is still under investigation and shared that her family has created a Go Fund Me account to help them rebuild their lives.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Man Records His Mother’s Vile Anti-Gay Religious Rant After He Tells Her He Is Engaged

Culture

Man Records His Mother’s Vile Anti-Gay Religious Rant After He Tells Her He Is Engaged

henrit0 / Instagram

Henry Jimenez wanted to share the news with his mother that he was finally engaged to his boyfriend. Instead of her being kind to him she launched into a vile and hateful anti-gay rant she disguised as a religious matter. The video of the encounter will break your heart and the son breaks down in tears over her angry words.

Henry Jimenez broke hearts when he posted a video of his mother’s anti-gay, religious rant.

Jimenez shared the news with his mother that he was engaged. The influencer, as so many Latinos, wanted to share in the moment with his mother. He knew what would happen but still wanted to give his mother a chance to know. What followed was a hateful rant that would leave any child in tears.

At one point in the video, the mother says that her son being gay and engaged is going to kill her faster. You can see Jimenez’s heart break when his mother continued her verbal assault about how he is a sinner.

People are stunned that the mother could speak that way to her child.

Credit: _fanyluu / Instagram

“How sad that she is so blind,” wrote _fanyluu. “And how ugly that she is such a blackmailer telling you that you are going to kill her…very bad on her part.”

Seeing moments like this are heartbreaking but create a stronger community of support.

Credit: andrewtorpie / Instagram

Being gay is one of the scariest things. The moment someone realizes that they are gay they immediately become different and have a secret from everyone else. It can be alienating and terrifying to navigate alone. Fortunately, social media created a safe space for LGBTQ+ people to connect and continues to be a valuable resource for LGBTQ+ people.

Despite the video, Jimenez’s love for his fiance is real and enduring.

Congratulations on your engagement, Henry! Love is love is love. We love to see two people happy and in love. May your marriage be filled with all of the happiness and love you two clearly deserve.

READ: A Gay Single Father Of 3 Is Using TikTok To Share His Family’s Love With The World

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com