Culture

28 Dichos Your Mom Told You That Made You Need Therapy

As we’ve made our way into mainstream culture, we’ve inevitably had a non-Latino friend shooketh at the shit our moms put us through. They said one day we’d thank them, and this is mitú’s tribute to all the cray cray and our present day thoughts.

How many of these did your mom say? Comment with any we missed!

1. “When I was your age…”

It’s an oldie but a goodie. When Mama was my age, she could only afford to eat one slice of New York pizza a day and modeling for Barbizon three buses across the city. And I’m just “eating shit” on the computer (welcome to 2018, ma’, life and work is on the computer!).

2. “I have to do everything because you can’t do anything right.”

Response: a sarcastic smile and sarcastic bow to the queen.

Yeah, she’s going to hit you for that one.

3. “You don’t know how to turn the tortilla but you want a boyfriend.”

YES, MOM. Any boy that’s with me is going to have to flip their own tortilla. #Feminism

4. “See, I told you.”

“Ok, but I literally just fell out of a tree and broke my leg. Please, help?”

5. “Do you think I was born yesterday?”

hated when I heard this because it meant that my mom had made up some elaborate conspiracy theory that I had to disprove. I sweaaaar, we’re not up to anything! We’re angels! ?

6. “God will punish you.”

When you did something so “bad” that she is just too disgusted to deal with you and let’s slip these three words: ?

7. “This house isn’t your hotel.”

Or better yet, “Do you think I’m your maid?” We’re children. We play with LEGOS. Let us be.

8. “Because I’m your mother.”

The jig is up folks. You think you’ve got logic and reason on your side, but as soon as she whips this one out, it’s all over. Don’t even try to argue.

9. “Son of a ____”

Filter? What filter? You mom has probably called you this to your face, pero liike, what is she saying about herself? ?

10. “Calm down before I make you calm down.”

I have chills. The full effect is in Spanish and I vow to never say this to my children. A variation might be, “Stop crying before I give you something to cry about.” YEESH.

11. “Who asked you?”

Oh you have an opinion, eh? Keep it to yourself, estupida. Do you need therapy yet? Let’s keep going.

12. “Do what you want”

Alright, so that sounds supportive right? Nope. This is code for “It’s your choice, but it’s a terrible one and I will chew you out alive if you go through with this.”

13. “Because you’re a fool”

Someone help me translate this. Basically, your mom was just like, “by way of you being a fool, of course this happened.” Two words can pack a punch.

14. Literal translation: “Go with caution.”

What she’s actually saying: “I’m this close to beating the shit out of you. Be careful what you say next.”

15. Literally, “Take that face off or you’ll see how it’s going to go in the house.”

What she’s actually saying: “Lose the sour face or we’ll see how it really looks when we get home (and I can explode in the privacy of our home).”

16. “Come so I can give you something to cry about.”

Sometimes, when I was sobbing, my mom would just pinch me really hard or yank my ear and tell me, “this is what real pain feels like.” OK, at this point, I’m concerned that my younger self but I promise she’s a really sweet lady.

17. “Who gave you permission to leave, eh?”

Your free will is a privilege in this house, you hear me? Never leave the house without permission.

18. “Sit better, you’re a lady.”

Yeah, your mom can talk about how your brothers need to take up all the space in the backseat so their fcking cojones can breath and I’m supposed to shrink. #NoGracias #SmashThePatriarchy #ImNoLady

19. “Get your shit together.”

You probably heard this around your school work a lot, and while your mom would not tutor you in anything but Spanish class, she always had this wise dicho for you. Thanks, mom!

20. “You already greeted everyone?”

There is nothing more important that your mom showing off the perfect gentleman or señorita she raised. You must greet everyone on each cheek or she’ll get you.

21. “Oh but last night it’s all party.”

This one comes at you early Saturday morning when she barges in your room with the cleaning supplies at 7am and you say you’re tired. I don’t know where Latina moms get their energy but maybe it comes with age? I’m praying.

22. “I’m mopping, don’t touch the floor!”

Is that a trick question? Nope! When el trapeando begins, the floor is lava and if you touch it you’ll feel the wrath of a thousand volcanos. It was the perfect excuse to stay on the couch and watch TV. 🙂

23. “Como que what, tell me mande.”

Never tell your Mexican mother, ‘como que.’ It’s a cardinal sin. Always say ‘mande’ if you want to keep your life.

24. “Be nice.”

You know how when you’re invited somewhere, it’s not about you, it’s about keeping up appearances. Well, she don’t care if you’re in a bad mood, your mama is going to tell you to be nice and shut down your mood. #ReasonsWhyWereCodependent

25. “Turn down the music, you’re going to become deaf.”

I truly believed my mom when she told me that as Avril Lavigne was blasting through my boom box. Like, I seriously feared I was going deaf.

26. “If I find it, you’re in trouble.”

Here’s your next move: run to your room, pray to St. Anthony that she never finds it and that you find it, and then pray to the Virgin Mary that your mom has mercy on you.

27. “I do everything for you and this is how you repay me?”

Usually, you’re feeling pretty shitty at this point, because it’s true. Our moms do everything for us, and Latina moms seem to sacrifice more than anyone, and give endlessly to us. I can hear my mom telling me this right now after reading this article. ?

.

.

.

I’M SO SORRY. TE AMO.

28. “What are you going to do the day I die?”

Moms love to talk about the day the die as leverage for forgiveness, or, in probably most cases, as a way to manipulate us into gratitude. Pero verdad, we can’t think about that day because we love our crazy ass moms so much, that the thought of a drama-free life feels like death to us. #VivaLaMama!

A Video Of A Woman Singing ‘Fallaste Corazón’ To Her Abuelo With Dementia Is Going Viral After He Remembered The Lyrics

Things That Matter

A Video Of A Woman Singing ‘Fallaste Corazón’ To Her Abuelo With Dementia Is Going Viral After He Remembered The Lyrics

We all know that growing old is inevitable in this life and that our days on Earth are numbered. Regardless of that truth, it’s human nature to either feel afraid of growing old or to feel melancholy when it comes to thinking of growing old. What can be even more painful is seeing our parents, our aunts and uncles, or our grandparents growing old and imagining a life without them in it. 

Last week, one woman on Twitter shared a video of her grandfather who has dementia singing along with her to “Fallaste Corazón” by Pedro Infante in a fleeting moment of lucidness. 

In the video, you can see the woman singing with such passion to her grandfather who is attentively watching her sing and who later begins to sing along to the lyrics as well.

 Dayis, on Twitter, shared that her “tata” doesn’t remember a lot of things due to his dementia but in an effort to help him with his dementia, she sings to him every day. 

“Today he remembered the song fallaste corazón and I swear I was trying so hard not to cry,” she writes. “This many is my life.”

According to Alzheimers.net, there are many reasons as to why music boosts brain activity.

According to the site, “musical aptitude and appreciation” are two of the last remaining abilities in dementia patients, music can bring emotional and physical closeness, music can shift moods and stimulate positive interactions, and it evokes emotions that bring back memories.

Since musical aptitude and appreciation are the last remaining abilities in patients with Alzheimer’s and dementia, “music is an excellent way to reach beyond the disease and reach the person.” In later stages of dementia, patients are also prone to losing the ability to share emotions with their caregivers or family members but through music, they can still reach that emotional and physical closeness they once had. Further, singing to and with dementia patients is engaging and it leads to patients “exercising more mind power than usual.” 

People who saw the touching video on social media were not only quick to share their reactions after watching it but they also shared their own personal experiences with family members and loved ones who had dementia. 

One Twitter user replied to @Dayannagmusic03 and shared that they couldn’t stop watching the video. 

The Twitter user went on to say that their grandfather also has dementia but notices sometimes that “something around him has triggered a memory” and to see that, they said, is the best feeling in the world. 

The woman who initially posted the video shared that her “tata” is currently on “stage 6” of dementia and although it’s been a long and rough battle, “he always seems to remember certain songs.”

“When he does, it warms my heart with joy,” she continued to write on Twitter. 

It’s safe to say the video had a lot of people in their feels and rightfully so.

We love to see raw and touching moments like these. 

The 0:50 mark made us ugly cry too.

This is right when her grandfather starts to faintly sing along with her and man, she sings with so much emotion too. 

Other folks on Twitter sent their blessings to her family and her grandfather.

We hope her grandfather continues to have more moments like this. 

People on Twitter also compared the heartwarming video to the movie Coco.

Remember the scene toward the end of the film when Miguel sings to Mamá Coco and she begins to remember? I’m not crying, YOU’RE CRYING. 

Others said what we’re all thinking… just thinking about our parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents getting old hurts a little bit more as we keep getting older ourselves. 

We’d like to keep believing their invincible and will live forever. 

Another Twitter user @missmalindakat tweeted that she had never seen anyone sing with more “heart and passion” than in that video.

One Twitter user shared her own video of her grandfather in a similar situation who also seemed to remember the lyrics to “El Rey” by Vicente Fernández when her great aunt sang it to him.

It’s touching to see other folks sharing their similar experiences and videos in an effort to support one another. This video has also amassed over 47,000 views on Twitter. 

Listen to “Fallaste Corazón” in full on YouTube below:

These Are The Baby Shower Gifts You Should Include In Your Registry

Fierce

These Are The Baby Shower Gifts You Should Include In Your Registry

Unsplash

Unless you’re filthy rich, you probably know that being alive in the United States is going to cost you a pretty penny. You also know that getting married and having kids is expensive, which is why a lot of people are choosing to skip out on these traditional customs. How can we afford to do all these things we’re told to do if we still have college debt and live at home? It’s nearly impossible. Unless you get help. That’s what is so wonderful about raising money via crowdsourcing and having registries because it does truly take a village to help you settle into adulthood and parenthood. 

Dockatot Deluxe+ Dock

Credit: Amazon

One thing you can never do is leave your baby alone for a second. Not on the bed and not on the couch. This ultra-sweet sleeping area is called Dockatot Deluxe+ Dock and while it’s a little pricey (closer to $200), it’s very useful, portable, and comfortable. 

Graco Pack ‘n Play Playard with Twins Bassinet

Credit: Amazon

Twins are all the rage these days, but how can you manage both and your sanity? This crib takes care of them both! It comes with removable bassinets and they claim “is perfect for napping, making it easy to transition to a portable playpen” and comes with a quilted mattress pad which creates a comfortable nap space. It costs about $200 on Amazon, but it’s basically a two for one. 

Leachco Snoogle Total Body Pillow

Credit: Amazon

All the presents don’t have to be for your baby, they can be for you too. If you don’t get proper sleep, you and everyone in your household will not be happy. This Leachco Snoogle Total Body Pillow is perfect for getting your body situated just right. Find it on Amazon for about $60.

Ergobaby Carrier, 360 All Carry Positions Baby Carrier

Credit: Amazon

This baby carrier ($124) comes highly recommended because it’s so flexible and is made perfectly for those wiggly baby bodies. Here’s how one reviewer described it: “We bought this carrier for two big reasons. 1: I detest lugging around a car seat or maneuvering a stroller in public. 2: My husband and I are a tad paranoid about child-snatchers. When I bought it I figured I would be the one using it the most, but it ended up being my husband that primarily wears it (he thinks I’m too clumsy and is afraid I’ll trip and fall while wearing her) and he really likes it. From the times that I have used it, I can say it was definitely worth buying and I would buy it again in a heartbeat.”

Pampers Swaddlers

Credit: Amazon

There’s probably nothing you will need more than diapers. While you may want to go for the organic route, or for those super ambitious parents, the cloth route (good luck), you cannot go wrong with Pampers. 

UPPAbaby Vista

Credit: Amazon

The main product that will cost you a ton of money is the stroller. You will have lots of cheaper options, but you want to go with a stroller that can be used in various ways and that can also grow along with your baby. But who will fork over almost $1000 for this ride? Your group of friends. Several of them can chip in for this much-needed gift. 

Lotus Everywhere Travel Crib

Credit: Amazon

One thing we love to do is travel. But a baby on hand can make that really difficult. Thanks to the Lotus Everywhere Travel Crib we can finally have some peace of mind that our baby will be comfortable and we won’t have to be lugging around a pack n’ play. It’s also fairly inexpensive, just $200

Skip Hop Duo Signature Diaper Bag

Credit: Target

Driving a minivan screams “I’m a parent!” so does the kind of diaper bag you stroll around with. This super cute Skip Hop Duo Signature Diaper Bag ($50 at Target) looks just like a backpack but it fits so much more. It’s also a perfect accessory to your stroller, which hangs on the handle. 

Philips Avent 3pk Natural Baby Bottle 4oz

Credit: Target

My mom always said, “when a baby is drinking from a bottle, you must be sure they’re not swallowing air.” Those kinds of retro bottles are thankfully a thing of the past. These new baby bottles are perfect at making sure your baby is only drinking fluids and also super easy for them to grasp on to. 

Now that you know the presents you want, it’s time to choose a registry! Thankfully there are lots of options including Amazon, Target, Walmart and more

READ: A Latino Baby Shower Would Not Be The Same Without These 9 People