Culture

28 Dichos Your Mom Told You That Made You Need Therapy

As we’ve made our way into mainstream culture, we’ve inevitably had a non-Latino friend shooketh at the shit our moms put us through. They said one day we’d thank them, and this is mitú’s tribute to all the cray cray and our present day thoughts.

How many of these did your mom say? Comment with any we missed!

1. “When I was your age…”

It’s an oldie but a goodie. When Mama was my age, she could only afford to eat one slice of New York pizza a day and modeling for Barbizon three buses across the city. And I’m just “eating shit” on the computer (welcome to 2018, ma’, life and work is on the computer!).

2. “I have to do everything because you can’t do anything right.”

Response: a sarcastic smile and sarcastic bow to the queen.

Yeah, she’s going to hit you for that one.

3. “You don’t know how to turn the tortilla but you want a boyfriend.”

YES, MOM. Any boy that’s with me is going to have to flip their own tortilla. #Feminism

4. “See, I told you.”

“Ok, but I literally just fell out of a tree and broke my leg. Please, help?”

5. “Do you think I was born yesterday?”

hated when I heard this because it meant that my mom had made up some elaborate conspiracy theory that I had to disprove. I sweaaaar, we’re not up to anything! We’re angels! ?

6. “God will punish you.”

When you did something so “bad” that she is just too disgusted to deal with you and let’s slip these three words: ?

7. “This house isn’t your hotel.”

Or better yet, “Do you think I’m your maid?” We’re children. We play with LEGOS. Let us be.

8. “Because I’m your mother.”

The jig is up folks. You think you’ve got logic and reason on your side, but as soon as she whips this one out, it’s all over. Don’t even try to argue.

9. “Son of a ____”

Filter? What filter? You mom has probably called you this to your face, pero liike, what is she saying about herself? ?

10. “Calm down before I make you calm down.”

I have chills. The full effect is in Spanish and I vow to never say this to my children. A variation might be, “Stop crying before I give you something to cry about.” YEESH.

11. “Who asked you?”

Oh you have an opinion, eh? Keep it to yourself, estupida. Do you need therapy yet? Let’s keep going.

12. “Do what you want”

Alright, so that sounds supportive right? Nope. This is code for “It’s your choice, but it’s a terrible one and I will chew you out alive if you go through with this.”

13. “Because you’re a fool”

Someone help me translate this. Basically, your mom was just like, “by way of you being a fool, of course this happened.” Two words can pack a punch.

14. Literal translation: “Go with caution.”

What she’s actually saying: “I’m this close to beating the shit out of you. Be careful what you say next.”

15. Literally, “Take that face off or you’ll see how it’s going to go in the house.”

What she’s actually saying: “Lose the sour face or we’ll see how it really looks when we get home (and I can explode in the privacy of our home).”

16. “Come so I can give you something to cry about.”

Sometimes, when I was sobbing, my mom would just pinch me really hard or yank my ear and tell me, “this is what real pain feels like.” OK, at this point, I’m concerned that my younger self but I promise she’s a really sweet lady.

17. “Who gave you permission to leave, eh?”

Your free will is a privilege in this house, you hear me? Never leave the house without permission.

18. “Sit better, you’re a lady.”

Yeah, your mom can talk about how your brothers need to take up all the space in the backseat so their fcking cojones can breath and I’m supposed to shrink. #NoGracias #SmashThePatriarchy #ImNoLady

19. “Get your shit together.”

You probably heard this around your school work a lot, and while your mom would not tutor you in anything but Spanish class, she always had this wise dicho for you. Thanks, mom!

20. “You already greeted everyone?”

There is nothing more important that your mom showing off the perfect gentleman or señorita she raised. You must greet everyone on each cheek or she’ll get you.

21. “Oh but last night it’s all party.”

This one comes at you early Saturday morning when she barges in your room with the cleaning supplies at 7am and you say you’re tired. I don’t know where Latina moms get their energy but maybe it comes with age? I’m praying.

22. “I’m mopping, don’t touch the floor!”

Is that a trick question? Nope! When el trapeando begins, the floor is lava and if you touch it you’ll feel the wrath of a thousand volcanos. It was the perfect excuse to stay on the couch and watch TV. 🙂

23. “Como que what, tell me mande.”

Never tell your Mexican mother, ‘como que.’ It’s a cardinal sin. Always say ‘mande’ if you want to keep your life.

24. “Be nice.”

You know how when you’re invited somewhere, it’s not about you, it’s about keeping up appearances. Well, she don’t care if you’re in a bad mood, your mama is going to tell you to be nice and shut down your mood. #ReasonsWhyWereCodependent

25. “Turn down the music, you’re going to become deaf.”

I truly believed my mom when she told me that as Avril Lavigne was blasting through my boom box. Like, I seriously feared I was going deaf.

26. “If I find it, you’re in trouble.”

Here’s your next move: run to your room, pray to St. Anthony that she never finds it and that you find it, and then pray to the Virgin Mary that your mom has mercy on you.

27. “I do everything for you and this is how you repay me?”

Usually, you’re feeling pretty shitty at this point, because it’s true. Our moms do everything for us, and Latina moms seem to sacrifice more than anyone, and give endlessly to us. I can hear my mom telling me this right now after reading this article. ?

.

.

.

I’M SO SORRY. TE AMO.

28. “What are you going to do the day I die?”

Moms love to talk about the day the die as leverage for forgiveness, or, in probably most cases, as a way to manipulate us into gratitude. Pero verdad, we can’t think about that day because we love our crazy ass moms so much, that the thought of a drama-free life feels like death to us. #VivaLaMama!

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

The ‘How It Started’ Memes Are Filled With The Funny And Wholesome Content We All Need In 2020

Culture

The ‘How It Started’ Memes Are Filled With The Funny And Wholesome Content We All Need In 2020

@xolei3 / Twitter

It is not a lie to say that 2020 has been a year of disappointment and high-stress scenarios. We’ve had to quarantine from a virus, wildfires are destroying a lot of land, and well, everything else going on has just made things worse. Fortunately, on Twitter trend is giving everyone a chance to see that things can get better.

Let’s face it, 2020 has been a tough year for everyone but one Twitter trend is making life a little better.

We’ve all seen the “How It Started” memes taking over social media in recent weeks. The memes are both funny and inspirational with some showing some amazing glow ups and others showing the crushing reality of everyday life. We have all felt like the man crying over 2020 at some point over the last 7 months. It’s like this year just doesn’t stop.

Relationships are a big part of this meme trend.

Oof. This is painful and so many of us know this to be true. 😭 Sure, we can all blame our relationship woes on the current state of the world. However, that would just be doing a disservice to ourselves and our love lives. Most of us who are single now have been single for a very long time pre-Covid. But, hey, no one knows that you’re lying if you blame Covid.

A few wonderful people highlighted their transition into their true selves.

Stunning. Show-stopping. Magnificent. We love to see it. There is nothing better to see in this world than someone living their authentic truth. Like, go and do your thing. Slay all of the hearts you see, honey, and take no prisoners. We are all better in their world to be surrounded by people living in complete honesty.

The Lil Nas X joined in on the fun and highlighted his own meteoric rise to fame.

The “Old Town Road” singer really did make a big name for himself. Not only did his song get made into a duet and remix with every artist imaginable, he beat Mariah Carey’s record. Lil Nas X went from someone that no one knew to unseating Mariah Carey for longest time spent at No. 1 on the Billboard Charts.

There are some very clever takes on this meme.

So, like, who else feels like they are being personally attacked by this meme? College might have been years ago but these memories linger. Tequila is just one of those things that so many of use have to learn the hard way and those lessons stick with you.

Simone Biles gave us one of the most memorable glow ups of the meme challenge.

Simone Biles is one of the most legendary women to ever walk this planet. The way she was able to make herself known around the world as the best gymnast is no short feat. She is and will always be one of the best women to represent the U.S. in the Olympics.

READ: President Trump Thinks Injecting Disinfectants Could Cure COVID-19 And The Memes Are Hilarious

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Latinos Share What They Admire About Their Parents- “They got dirt, *poop* and oil on their hands so I would never have to”

Entertainment

Latinos Share What They Admire About Their Parents- “They got dirt, *poop* and oil on their hands so I would never have to”

Peter Turnley / Getty

You don’t have to be Latino to know how amazing and full of strength our parents are. Hard-working, filled to the brim with love and wisdom, Latino parents (whether still with us, deceased or pulling the weight of their household on their own) are the backbone of just about every Latino community (big or small).

To celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month and the parents and abuelos who raised us we posed the question below.

From the question came an outpouring of answers and love.

Check them out below.

“Their bravery in coming here and the fact that they never settled for o.k.”- tlabax

“Definitely got to say i admire everything about my mother. The fact that she’s a single mother and not only raised me but others children as well all by herself. Worked several jobs throughout the years and still came home with no sleep all to take care of her loved ones. i’ve never met anyone more selfless, more caring, or more protective. As i’ve grown older i realize just how much her acts of kindness go such a long way for those around her. She is someone to live up to. I’d count myself lucky to be half the women she is today. Shes the one person i truly admire in this lifetime.”-v.mozqueda

“My parents dedication and commitment to giving us a life they never had the sacrifice to make sure that our family unit was a healthy one even if that meant apologizing to each other or to even us the unconditional love they showed even when we have wronged them and or fucked up in the worse way my parents are great and still show this and they deserve it all.”- alexis__polanco__


“My mother instilled a very strong work ethic in me. She was a single mother and never gave up. I am grateful she showed me what STRONG meant.”-jrespinosa93


“What I admire about my parents that they are so hardworking and have made so many sacrifices for me and my sister. They never give up and have been through a lot and have sticked together for more then 30 years.”-jocy_villas

“Serious answer though… they lived in so many countries when I was a child finally settling here in the United States. 🤷🏽‍♀️I have a panic attack about moving down the street , I can’t imagine picking up and leaving everything and everyone I love behind to start over in a strange country for the good of my kids .. talk about 10 toes down.”-420mee

“They got dirt, sh*t and oil on their hands so I would never have to.”- nrodriguez1322


There unconditional love, support and commitment to each other. 44 years together and counting.”- toyitabonita23


“Talking about my mamá….that she is an incredible mentor to countless women in her life…she has always been that way and somehow she is kind of unaware of that? She just does it, expecting nothing in return.”-camilabelen2

“Everything!! But at the top of my head at this moment I’d say their work ethic.”-mrsdelarosa0810

“The courage it took to leave their home in Cuba without knowing the language or culture, just to give their kids a better life. Te quiero Papa y Mamita.”-misael.929

“Shoot what don’t I admire about my mother? I admire the courage both my parents had by coming here with nothing and starting a new life. I admire how hard my mother worked, having two jobs and not speaking the language all just so she could provide for us. Gracias Mamí! I love you!”-jannet_pinon

“Their commitment to their children to be better educated, better life, better human beings with other people, to be proud of who we are and where we come from, to be good representatives of our countries so people change the stereotypes, of who we are.”-mangelinarmelvin

“Their communication and their dedication of raising their daughters to be prepare for the future. Strict or whatever I just know they want the best for us. I can’t wait to teach my children the same. Truly bless for their commitment of giving us everything especially love.”-shata_101

“My father worth ethic he instilled that into me and my siblings. And my moms lucha in everything that she did and still does.”-sjmomz

“My mom raised us in a single parent household. We never went to bed hungry, we were provided the essentials food, schooling. She never asked for assistance from anyone. She worked and still works very hard.”-2damoon4ever

“They loved each other until they passed away.”-ednamode50

“That they came to this country and nothing stopped them from accomplish their goals.”-tori_rose30

“They adopted me and provided for me despite being older people already.”-marquez_divasi

“Perseverance. Cuando se quiere se puede.”-themelissas

“The fact that I am still alive with this mouth of mine… I would’ve beat me😂😂. Every time My step kids do you some thing I call my parents and apologize.”-420mee


“they left everything in mexico to give their families a better future & they always put the needs of their family before their own.”-asusena_castillo15

“My mom is the toughest person I’ve ever met she’s a badass.”-guillermo83az

“Their determination to make a home in new place 100’s of miles away from their families. Their determination to learn a new language, and strive for more even when faced with opposition and heavy trials! For loving each other with every obstacle presented in the past 35 yrs, for teaching me and my sisters these and many more qualities! May we be a 10th of who they are and their amazing resilience to be more and achieve more!”-mcamakeupco

“The amount of strength they have to create a life for their family and still have compassion for others. Taking a very scary journey to get to America and never even talking about all they went thru. I never even heard my moms coming to America story until I was 23. Still haven’t heard the complete story only in pieces.”-haydeliko

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com