Netflix’s reboot of Queer Eye, featuring the Fab Five, has become a staple of America’s collective therapy. In the days since the fourth season has dropped, we’re all feeling more in touch with our feelings, but never have we been so attacked as when we met Chicana Deanna Muñoz. 

Deanna is a proud second generation Mexican-American who struggles with being “stuck” between two cultures. She doesn’t speak Spanish and can’t cook, making her feel like she’s “not Mexican enough”, and racism felt by her white neighbors makes her feel like she’s “not white enough.” Needless to say, that experience is so relatable for most of us second-generation Latino-Americans.

Meet Deanna Muñoz in all her J.Lo glory.

In fact, we call it brujería. Deanna had her first child when she was just 16 years old, and had to drop out of school. As her daughter started pouring her heart into creative writing, she wanted to find her a tutor. With none to be found, she founded the Latino Arts Festival non-profit foundation, to showcase and cultivate Latino culture in Kansas City.

We’re giving Queer Eye a 10/10 for shining a light on cultural Imposter Syndrome within the Latinx community.

Why did Queer Eye do such a good job of this? They created space for Deanna, an actual Chicana, to share her experience to America. So many of us have faced the surprise of both Latinos and non-Latinos alike when we answer that “what are you?” question. In a place like the U.S., where we often come from mixed-culture families, seeing the emotional effects played out on screen is validating AF.

Karamo Brown took Deanna door to door to find neighbors that can counter the racism she experienced by other vecinos.

Deanna’s family had to build a mini wall to reinforce water drainage on their yard, and a neighbor texted her husband saying, “The Mexicans are building their own wall.” 😡

Deanna’s family immediately felt uncomfortable in their own neighborhood. Our favorite Cubano, Karamo, made sure that Deanna went where the love is–and had her create her own welcome to the ‘hood.

And sons and daughters of immigrant parents everywhere sobbed to see the sacrifice.

Deanna’s parents immigrated to the U.S. to give Deanna a better life. So many of our parents or abuelos left their culture and language behind to give their children a new start in life. Seeing Deanna get that is what it’s all about. #NoWall

Meanwhile, Bobbi created a safe space for Latino artists in Kansas City by gifting Deanna an office space.

Deanna was working out of a tiny space in her home, with the third annual Latino Arts Festival upon her. Bobbi was able to create a studio space for Latinx artists, and made sure that Latinx artists influenced the design of the space. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

There was also this Latino lesson: never reject abuela’s food. She’ll bring it to you anyway.

Twitter user Pamela Gocobachi shared, that “one of my fave moments from the new #QueerEye season was in  Deanna’s episode when @antoni learned the hard way that you never say no when abuelita asks you if you want to eat something– Martha’s face when he said “later”? Antoni’s face when she brought him food anyway? I DIED”

If you don’t speak Spanish but could relate to Deanna’s struggle to ask for help or take up any space at all, you inherited that from Latino culture.

Not one of us would question Deanna’s Latinidad, but we internalize so much shame for not living like we grew up in a Latin American country. Language and food are just two ways to define culture. 

Deanna relatably felt intimidated to be in the kitchen with the viejas.. Deanna felt like her Latin style was seen as “childish” in her board meetings and had trouble being taken seriously. These are the Latino-American experiences we have all experienced and they make us Latino.

If you’re feeling inspired, be like Chloe, and donate to the Latino Arts Foundation!

It doesn’t matter if you don’t speak Spanish and couldn’t roast a poblano for your life–your Latinidad is bigger than that. It’s everything that gives us the birthright to claim that identity, especially in a foreign land. Whether your culture looks like the art of cafecito or appreciating Bad Bunny even though you don’t understand every word he’s saying, somos Latino.

What we do to celebrate that is what we pass on to the next generation. Donate to the Latino Arts Foundation hoy.

What would you do if an ex of yours were to hit you up out of the blue? To some it might not be a big deal, to others, it might be a little weird, and to many, it might just be a little random.  

Added plot twist: what would you do if an ex of yours were to hit you up right before his wedding day? What are you supposed to do in a situation like that? Alexa, play “Someone Like You” by Adele. 

Last week, Twitter user Alexsa Sanchez Aquilar tweeted out a text she received from an ex right before his wedding day.

Yup, you heard that right.

In a post to her Twitter feed, Sanchez Aquilar shared that her ex texted after out of the blue. The day before his wedding.  the “I’m getting married tomorrow. I wanted to send you this message. (My fiance knows I’m sending this to you) Thank you for being my first love. Thank you for always encouraging me, thank you for keeping me out of trouble, thank you for the times you took care of me when I was sick, and depressed. Thank you for loving me. If you haven’t already I hope you one day find love,” the message says.

While the woman who shared the tweet didn’t say much when sharing the initial screenshot beside “i–i’m speechless” –– other people on Twitter had a lot of mixed reactions as the tweet quickly went viral.

The really long message from her ex goes on to say, “If you loved me that much when we were young I can only imagine how strong people and powerful your love is now. The way your heart is made it’s amazing. I know we were only kids when we dated but you taught me what love is. To the man who is lucky enough to have you as their wife I hope he treats you with care, I hope he knows who he has in front of him, I hope he shows you love and loyalty every day. You deserve that and more.”

“My point in all of this is, you are the reason why I know how to love someone. You taught me love, you taught me how to deal with my anger, how to deal with my depression and how to live life to the fullest and I’m grateful for you. I wish you love and happiness.”

BuzzFeed, who first wrote about the viral tweet, also reached out to Aguilar for comment. “At first, I didn’t know what to say. I started crying when I read the text –– it warmed my heart that I helped him be a better version of himself.”

But of course, many didn’t share Aguilar’s sentiment had questions about why the ex felt the need to send her a text the day before his wedding?

Like, should Aguilar have been like “congratulations, but are you sure about getting married?”

While some understood where @masonrain_ was coming from, they felt that perhaps the ex-boyfriend was simply reflecting and expressing his gratitude toward Aquilar –– even if the timing felt a bit sketchy.

But @masonrain_  flat out thought it was disrespectful to both Aguilar and the fiancé. It got people thinking and arguing about whether you’d be a little thrown off if your partner told you that they’d be reaching out to their ex the day before your wedding?

Ultimately, many Twitter users disputed these sentiments and arguments pointing out that in a lot of cases, breakups and past relationship make can make us stronger and that reflecting on them and growing from those mistakes is a good thing.

Plus, while some relationship may have ended badly –– you don’t always have to hold on to resentment or residual feelings of animosity for the rest of your life.

It sounds like Aguilar and her ex-boo went through a lot during their time together as a young couple, and it sounds like they look back at it fondly rather than negatively.

For one, Aguilar tells BuzzFeed that the texts weren’t weird at all –– despite everybody else’s two cents about the situation. She tells BuzzFeed that she and her ex had helped each other through difficult times. “We helped each other heal, I feel like no matter what happens, he and I will forever have respect towards each other,” she said.

Like Aguilar said we can all benefit from a broken heart and allow ourselves to see why a relationship might not have worked out and chalk it up it as a lesson learned.

“I wanted to show that just because things don’t work out with someone, that doesn’t mean you should have hate towards them,” Aguilar said. “Regardless of everything, you were meant to be a part of that person’s life, and them, yours.”