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21 Beauty Products Our Latina Moms Forced On Us In The ’90s

Isn’t it so nice to have a couple decades between the range of embarrassing to horrifying things our Latina moms forced on us as kids? Whenever our white friends told us to just speak up for ourselves, that we’re old enough to “Just say ‘No’,” it was a terrifying thought.

Burn your blue eyeshadow, fishtail braided prom photos and just enjoy this blast from the past.

1. The Mole

CREDIT: Nicole Washington / YouTube

If you’re like my tia, you actually got one tattooed on your face, because ain’t nobody got time for that whole dot, right? Well, it was a birthmark that happened to run in the family because all the women in your house had the same one.

2. All the Philosophie Box Subscriptions

CREDIT: “Image.” Digital Image. Hey Do You. 16 May 2018.

Your mom’s shower was like a graveyard for Philosophie products. It smelled amazing, and she didn’t just use one bottle at a time, so you could choose from 20 different half empty bottles. These were the good old days.

3. But you always had to use the horse shampoo

CREDIT: “Mane ‘n Tail Original Shampoo – 32oz – image 1 of 1” Digital Image. Target. 16 May 2018.

The bottle was actually big enough for a horse, but they swear by it for human consumption. Who doesn’t want hair as shiny and manageable as a horse? #GrowingUpHispanic

4. You never got the brands all your non-Latino friends loved.

CREDIT: “Herbal Essences Smooth Collection Shampoo – 33.8 oz – 2 pk” Digital Image. Amazon. 16 May 2018.

If horses don’t use it, or it doesn’t come with a subscription, it can’t be trusted. Just like you could never sleepover someone else’s house unless your fam knew them for generations, same goes for hair products.

5. You never ran out of soap.

CREDIT: @_flo_123 / Twitter

She’ll have all 20 bottles of Philosophie shampoo and conditioner, but will wait as long as possible to replenish your stock.

6. Mayo is for your hair and nothing else.

CREDIT: THEEKARARAE / YouTube

Come home with lice? Your mami will lovingly make you a homemade mayo and egg hair mask to suffocate the lice. Don’t complain about your frizzy hair unless you want mayo up in it for the next hour.

7. No hair mask is complete without cellophane.

CREDIT: “Speed Up Hair Growth With This Natural Oil Treatment” Digital Image. The Hearty Soul. 16 May 2018.

Every month, they’d ask, “Quiere cellophane? Tu pelo es tan frizzy.” We don’t know what exactly they put in our hair, but we know it was cellophane wrapped for an hour to three after. This is what Saturdays are for.

8. Cocoa Butter was the Vick’s of dry skin, hair, nails, etc.

CREDIT: “Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula With Vitamin E 3.5-ounce Lotion” Digital Image. Overstock. 16 May 2018.

Those brutal, awkward days of puberty when your inner thighs had stretch marks and you didn’t even notice until your mami gasped and whipped out the cocoa butter stick from her purse for an emergency application. None of us have body image issues at all.

9. Vaporú also helped with baggy eyes…

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Vicks. 16 May 2018.

Warts, toe fungus, pimples, etc. She also had a travel size in her purse, so you were perpetually aware of every blemish and dark spot on your face.

10. Crunchy, crimped hair.

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Cosmopolitan. 16 May 2018.

“You can’t leave the house como así!” If you didn’t dry your hair, you better expect some greasy shit to be scrunched in and to see the final result after you already got to school. You also prayed the whole ride there and couldn’t wait to wash your hair at the end of the day.

11. She probably used this product to make the crunch happen.

CREDIT: “Three Flowers Brilliantine Pomade Solid 3.25oz Image 1 of 4.” Digital Image. Walmart. 15 May 2018.

This can also be used to slick by your hair into a very painfully tight bun or ponytail. My primas and I would “rebel” the only way Latinx kids could: trying to say no, being forced to do it anyway, and harboring a resentment that turns into articles like these. 🙂

12. But first, you’d have to wear this crown jewel.

CREDIT: PerfumeLA / Pinterest

Pull your hair back real tight and then scrunch the rest away. Thankfully, Sabrina the Teenage Witch wore this in one episode, so I felt like a bruja and not a loser.

13. They’d cut off your f*cking ponytails.

CREDIT: “Cutting your own hair” Digital Image. The Loop. 16 May 2018.

True story: My Titi tricked me into this and secretly had my friend videotape it. She just casually asked* me to put my hair in a ponytail, promptly cut it off and said, “Así, now you have layers!”

*Latino “ask” is to ask, persist, guilt and shame the child until they finally agree. I’m still mad about it.

14. Use Sprite or lemon juice to highlight your hair.

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Cosmopolitan. 16 May 2018.

All the cool kids had caramel or blonde highlights in their hair, and your mom did, too, but Latino style. Just squeeze lemon juice in your hair and help her pull weeds out in the sun for awhile. If you want red, just add Kool-Aid after.

15. Brown lipstick was the only lipstick worth wearing.

CREDIT: “Brown Lipstick” Digital Image. The Fashion Spot. 16 May 2018.

Obviously, there was also lip liner and a shimmery, bronze tint at the center of the bottom lip. Obviously, you were also 14 years old and hated everything about it.

16. “Hair Tendrils”

CREDIT: “Hair Tendrils” Digital Image. The Fashion Spot. 16 May 2018.

You didn’t go to a hair salon until you moved out of the house because your mom was always the one to cut your hair. I remember feeling drunk with power at the first salon I went to because she actually did what I asked her to do.

17. Mami was always crafty with how she ironed…

CREDIT: @mari_moves / Twitter

Your skull burned every time, but “Why buy a CHI when you can iron more hair at once with this? Let me help you.” It was her way of staying involved with everything you did.

18. She also had you use butter for tanning oil.

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. La Prensa. 16 May 2018.

Everyone had all these name brand tanning oils, but your mom sent you to the beach with packets of butter to rub on your body. “It was good enough for me growing up, so it’s good enough for you.”

19. Hoop Earrings Every Day.

CREDIT: Oh-desperado / Tumblr

I miss these days with my whole soul. If Selena rocked it, then the whole familia did, too. Including that extremely high pony.

20. Remember those fruity lip balms at the cash register?

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Cosmopolitan. 16 May 2018.

You could scratch the sticker to smell the flavor and your mom would get you the one she wanted and then never give it back to you.

21. And those Colombian jeans…

latina moms
CREDIT: Shakira / Youtube

You wanted to go to GAP, but instead went to the corner mart and got those low-rise, pocketless jeans with a massive bedazzled belt. There was no way around being “the girl with curves” at school. It was all a set up, and one day, we might do some of the same to our own kids. 😂

21 Reasons Why Costa Rica Is The Happiest Country In The World

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21 Reasons Why Costa Rica Is The Happiest Country In The World

mycostarica / Instagram

Costa Rica is all the proof we need that there is a template for happiness and it relies on each and every one of us (and our government) to make people and our environment a priority. Costa Rica is by no means the richest country in the world, but researchers have learned what makes Costa Ricans some of the happiest people.

Here’s to taking a page out of Costa’s printed-on-recycled-paper book.

1. Costa Rica is ranked #1 in the Happy Planet Index (HPI).

CREDIT: @mycostarica / Instagram

Can you imagine why? It was No. 1 in 2009 and 2012 as well. Professor Mariano Rojas, the country’s leading economist, says that the key to happiness is Costa Rica’s culture of strong communities of friends, families and neighbors.

2. They live longer than Americans.

CREDIT: @Roblesabanacoff / Twitter

And by the way, they also have a quarter of the GDP than most other Western European and North American countries. Riches truly can’t buy happiness, or even longevity. Costa Rica is proof.

3. Costa Rica’s ecological footprint is a third the size of the USA’s.

CREDIT: @mycostarica / Instagram

It’s government is very focused on maintaining the island’s pristine ecosystems, and for good reason. Eco-tourism is the economy’s largest industry.

4. I mean, look at just one of its National Parks:

CREDIT: @mycostarica / Instagram

Caption: “Manuel Antonio is Costa Rica’s smallest National Park, just 4.900 acres of land and 136.000 acres under water. Forbes magazine even considered Manuel Antonio Costa Rica to be among the top twelve most beautiful national parks in the world! Two and three-toed sloths, coatimundis, howler monkeys, hummingbirds and iguanas are just a few of the many species of animals that you can see here.”

SLOTHS, GUYS.

4. In 2015, the country produced 99% of its electricity from renewable energy.

CREDIT: @KathrynBruscoBk / Twitter

The government plans to become entirely carbon neutral by 2021. Look at Costa Rica leading the world in environmental protection.

5. Costa Rica’s new Cabinet has more women than men.

CREDIT: @TheTicoTimes / Twitter

So it makes sense that they’re winning at their government-led programs. #ByePatriarchy

6. The government tried to ban all zoos.

CREDIT: @DMAX_es / Twitter

But, alas, companies that profit off animals will do their damnest to keep exploiting them. The company that owns the two zoos in the country took the government to court and is permitted to operate for the rest of their contract. Eight years until we see them shut down.

7. Costa Rica did ban the keeping of cetaceans in captivity.

CREDIT: @mycostarica / Instagram

That means that the country isn’t renting out its dolphins for tourists to swim with and there will never be a #FreeTilly movement. H/t to you Costa Rica.

8. And they have a dog sanctuary called “Land of the Strays.”

CREDIT: @mycostarica / Instagram

As soon as a stray gets there, he’s neutered, given vaccines, and left to roam free and play with other dogs. Plus, they’re all up for adoption! Costa Rica is a legit friend to animals.

9. It’s home to just one of five Blue Zones in the world.

CREDIT: @robert_ruggiero / Twitter

Blue Zones are places where people live longer, happier, and healthier than anywhere else in the world. The Nicoya Peninsula is just the place, and this research tells us why Costa Ricans are so happy.

10. Strong community bonds top the list.

CREDIT: @oliverlozornio / Twitter

Like many of our own homes, the generations before and after you live in or around your house. The neighbors are like extended family, and are actively involved in their lives.

11. They stay active until old age, which is on average 78.6 years old.

CREDIT: @CentAm_Beauty / Twitter

You know how, when you’re outside in the sun, you just feel happier? Agriculture is a major economy driver in Costa Rica which means its residents spend their days cultivating the land they live on and releasing endorphins all over the place.

12. Which means they’re eating home cooked and farm fresh meals all day long.

CREDIT: @agapecostarica / Twitter

Here’s the key to a happy live: homemade corn tortillas, rice, beans, platanos, cabbage and carrot salad, and a protein. Here are some examples of good Costa Rican food.

13. We can’t not talk about Gallo Pinto

CREDIT: @peopleplatesandplanet / Instagram

I’m drooling. This breakfast dish is made of rice and beans with peppers, cilantro and onions. When it’s all mixed up, it looks like a “spotted rooster” tu sabes?

14. Costa Rican Tamales are ajo af.

CREDIT: @theedjraul / Instagram

Unlike Mexican tamales, Costa Rican tamales are wrapped in banana leaves instead of corn husks, and are much less spicy and just as good and garlicky.

15. Last but not least, there’s Arroz con leche.

CREDIT: @arte_gastronomico / Instagram

To make it vegan, use full fat coconut milk, very soft rice, and all the spices (lemon zest, salt, sugar and cinnamon sticks).

16. Back to business: Costa Rica hasn’t had an army since 1949.

CREDIT: @DynamikWorks / Twitter

President Jose Figueres literally smashed the national military headquarters with a wall and then turned it into a national art museum. Imagine a world where your country isn’t at war, or being threatened to be nuked. If you’re in the U.S., you get the fear.

17. All the best healthcare, education and employment rates.

CREDIT: @TheTicoTimes / Twitter

Since then, it use war funds on education, health and pensions. The GDP of Costa Rica is less than $8,000 but a literacy rate of 97.8% and employment rate of 91.5%.

18. The weather is perfecto.

CREDIT: @de_ride_photography / Instagram

We’re talking about a tropical island where the temperature ranges from 71 to 80°F, with ocean breezes from all directions. So this kind of life is just casual.

19. Did we mention they also have sloths?

CREDIT: @mycostarica / Instagram

Like, they’re not difficult to spot. Any native could tell you a few of their local spots to see sloths. THEY ARE JUST THE CUTEST.

20. And volcanos?

CREDIT: @mycostarica / Instagram

Like I said, super casual island to live on. When I moved from Florida to LA, it took me months to get used to seeing mountains. I think I’d be annoyingly in awe for the rest of my life if volcanoes were my yard view.

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