20 Reasons Spring Cleaning In A Latino Home Is Cleaning Like No Other
People love to talk about spring cleaning as if it’s not something we were dragged out of bed every Saturday morning to do all 52 weeks out of the year. Seriously. How many times did you spend a Saturday morning at home cleaning everything in the house? You were never allowed to just tidy things up. No. You have to lift the furniture and make sure that every inch of the floor was swept, mopped and bleached to mami and abuela’s liking. Here are a few examples of how Latinos take that Spring Cleanign idea to a whole new level.
1. Spring Break = Spring Cleaning
I mean, did you ever *actually* look forward to spring break? This is the week that your mom tells you, “What? You have something better to do? Dále.”
2. There’s only one way to trapeando.
And that’s with a cuban mop. The classic way to do this is with an old towel, your mop, and a bucket. But of course, your mami has a system…
3. And it would be nothing without mistolín.
You have two buckets: one filled with mistolín and water, and another that becomes the aqua sucio. Once you smell that lavanda scent, you know your day is over.
4. You’ll miss the days of complaining about being stuck on the sofa…
Because once she started mopping, it was a cardinal sin to touch the floors. Try going one week without hearing, “No toque el piso!”
5. Because these days, if you miss a spot, you’re done.
She’ll probably just clean everything all over again while muttering under her breath how she has to do everything and how ungrateful you are. There’s no winning. Don’t even try.
6. On the rare occasion, the fam retires old food containers for NEW food containers.
It’s always a fun surprise when you open the mantequilla tupper to find pozole. Mama likes to switch it up once a month though to keep you on your toes.
7. Verdad, we’re actually very eco-friendly spring cleaners.
Only tontas buy dish towels. Just reuse old T-shirts and towels for cleaning! The best feeling? When your mom volunteers your favorite old t-shirts that you’ve been missing, and know you can’t say shit when you finally find it in your mother’s hand, wiping up bathroom grime.
8. Spring cleaning also means reusing old clothes to make pillows, or vice versa.
One time, my mom spent hours sewing an old curtain onto my jeans as patches (circa 2006), and was devastated when it seemed I was embarrassed. Naturally, I had to wear them to school, and had to suffer. #TheLatinoWay
9. There are some things you can never purge though.
Honestly, I’m shaking for this Twitter user. *Does Sign of the Cross* Pray that her mom never sees this post.
10. Like VapoRub.
Nobody cares if there’s nothing left in the canister. You can still pop open the cap and the healing powers of it’s stench will clear your congestion, your headache and your depression. Keep it close, mija.
11. It wouldn’t be any kind of cleaning day without Fabuloso.
Just toss that shit on the patio, on your floors and wipe away! Ever notice that it streaks rainbow?
12. Latinos know best, UCF.
This Twitter user shared the obvious solution with University of Central Florida. Psh, they really need some Latinos on their management staff.
13. And mothers everywhere are teaching their daughters young how to clean right.
I’ll confess, I’m a little riled up over this. Can someone please give their son cleaning toys and end machismo already?!
14. How you know you’re Latino: You need counter space to clean the oven.
Because you store all your pots, pans and even cutting boards in the oven. This is a labor intensive job, friends.
15. And you know the time has come when certain songs come on.
For me, it was Ricky Martin. TBH, it still is. He’s a family hero and his music makes me want to dance, sing, and hide all at the same time.
16. Don’t forget to wipe the dust off the fake fruit.
Will someone please help a girl understand why we need so much fake fruit? And why I was always stuck wiping the grapes, the most notoriously difficult to clean fruit?!
17. P.S. the cleaning never stops.
If you don’t seem busy, or if, God forbid, you seem bored, prepare yourself for an afternoon of weeding or an afternoon of being made to feel like a POS. Every mom is different, but those are kinda the only two options where I come from.
18. The few days after cleaning, you better walk on eggshells.
If you leave even a single fork in the sink, it’s, “Nobody loves me. Who here respects my time? Nadie?! Fine, then nobody will miss me when I’m gone!” And then, while your mom fumes away from the house, your dad and siblings all spend the afternoon cleaning and cooking to prove your love for her.
19. So you did everything right?!
There will be no praise. Just, “Why can’t you be like this every day?” Until next sabado, mami!