Culture

24 Ways To Use Avocado That Aren’t Guacamole

Latinx family: we have been blessed with a diaspora rich in avocado trees. Before avocados became all the rage, we grew the fruit of the gods in our backyards and made guacamole with it.

Here’s the thing, we cannot limit such a magical fruit to just one dish. Here are just 24 of probably hundreds of ways to use avocado and honor the fruit that gives us life

1. Avocado Toast

ways to use avocado
CREDIT: @avocados / Twitter

Don’t worry. This isn’t another post about avocado toast, but it belongs at the top of the list. Smashed avocados + warm, toasted bread is as comfort food as it gets. But avocado can do so much more.

2. Like make this avocado gelato.

CREDIT: @allice_park / Twitter

Did someone say comfort food earlier? And yes, you need to save the avocado shell because it’s nature’s bowl.

3. Baked Avocado Fries

CREDIT: @AvosMexicoCA / Twitter

Imagine biting into a crispy fry and instead of chewing down on boring, pedestrian potato, you’re eating the baked creamy fruit of our gods? Well, you can! It’s easy, just get some avocados and an oven and google that ish.

4. Sub avocado for mayo.

CREDIT: @BabaganoshBlog / Twitter

Literally, avocados are nature’s mayo and I will fight you on that. You can use it to make egg salad, and get many more nutrients and avocados have 0% cholesterol!

5. Make avocado pesto noodles.

CREDIT: @BoulderInst / Twitter

Did I eat this for both lunch and dinner yesterday? Claro q sí. And I’ll eat it again for breakfast this morning. Just blend an avocado with some basil leaves, spices, and coconut milk for a creamy taste of heaven for a nut-free, dairy-free option!

6. Chilled Avocado Gazpacho

CREDIT: @Buzzfeed / Twitter

You’re going to make this with avocados, chickpeas and cucumbers as the base, and then you’re going to eat a whole blender full in one sitting and thank me.

7. Bake avocados into a cake!

CREDIT: @Allergy_F_York / Twitter

This is a great options for all you veganos out there! Avocados are binding, like eggs, so you can sub half an avocado per egg and see what happens. Spoiler: feasting is in your future.

8. Or just turn it into cake icing.

CREDIT: @1KitchenStories / Twitter

I mean, it’s kind of the perfect texture, am I right? Just add some pistachios and sugar to the avocado, blend, and try to leave some for the actual cake because you’ll want to eat this with a spoon.

9. Avocado-Strawberry Bruschetta

CREDIT: “Another spin on avo toast. Get the recipe here.” Digital Image. Buzzfeed. 17 May 2018.

Another tropical take on an Italian classic. You already know what to do, and don’t think this would be possible without avocado. #DairyFree #Vegan

10. Bake a damn egg in an avocado.

CREDIT: @avocados / Twitter

Seriously, I dare you. Just layer smoked salmon and crack an egg on top and bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes. Top with chile and write me thank you letters.

11. What’s an empanada without avocado drizzle?

CREDIT: @avocados / Twitter

Blend an avocado with cilantro and lime and store it in a ziploc bag. Cut the tip off and use it as a piper to seriously zest up your empanada game.

12. Avocado-Corn Soup

CREDIT: @avocados / Twitter

Forget thickening your corn soup with a can of condensed milk. Avocados are like gold that grows from trees. Use them, mija.

13. Make a dip that isn’t guacamole

CREDIT: @avocados / Twitter

Let’s call this a mustard dip. I mean, really, mustard could only be improved with avocados.

14. That’s an avocado milkshake ⬇️

CREDIT: @ErikMeadows / Twitter

And while you can make healthy smoothies using avocado, kale, etc, milkshakes are just better. Blend a can of full-fat coconut milk with mint leaves, avocado and a sprinkle of brown sugar or stevia and call yourself blessed.

15. Who says you can’t serve cafécito in a cup of avocado?

CREDIT: @FactRiverCom / Twitter

Like I said: nature’s bowl. I’m shooketh to say that Australians thought of this before we did, but I’m h/t anyway.

16. Yup, there’s avocado in that chocolate mousse.

CREDIT: @FayeJosa / Twitter

The cacao drowns out any taste of the avocado, so you’re left with the creamy texture of avocados and the bittersweet yumminess of cacao.

17. That’s some avocado-cilantro hummus right there.

CREDIT: @Gatherings_Inc / Twitter

Why wouldn’t this be delicious? You already know what to do, fam. This next one will elevate your Insta game.

18. Beet-Hummus Stuffed Avocados

CREDIT: @inspiredby_nick / Twitter

You can stuff an avocado with whatever tf you want, but we recommend the pretty pink hummus shown here. All you need is one beet for this recipe, and probably more than one stomach around.

19. Key Lime Tart

CREDIT: @natbotica-keylime / Twitter

My Floridian fam: you’ve got all the best limes, and your cousins have all the avocado trees. You live in a paradise. Act like it and make this.

20. We can’t forget avocado brownies.

CREDIT: @radiancecleanse / Twitter

They truly add a fudgey texture to these bad boys that you can attribute to a serving of fruit. How millennial am I for wanting to worship an avocado tree right now?

21. Make yourself a vegan deviled egg.

CREDIT: @ReInVeganate / Twitter

You can be bad and bougie, too, my amigos veganos. You can also stuff a baked baby potato with a turmeric-nooch blend of avocados if you want to swap which part of the egg this is.

22. Stuff the avocado, then fry it. 😭

CREDIT: @UrbanSwank / Twitter

This is real, y’all. This one is stuffed with crab meat and then deep fried, but get creative for us and let us know what you’d make in the comments below.

23. Behold, a variation on an avocado milkshake:

CREDIT: @ZengaTVMedia / Twitter

Frozen bananas. That’s what usually makes smoothies so creamy, but you can use them with avocados and coconut milk to add some natural sweetener to your shake.

24. I leave you with avocado cream:

CREDIT: “Avocado Cream / Peden + Munk.” Digital Image. Epicurious. 17 May 2018.

I know, this feels counterintuitive, but if you blend an avocado with apple cider vinegar and sour cream (and spices of course), you’ll get yourself a pretty tasty dip. It will never replace guacamole, but it’ll do with fries.

A Woman’s Obsession With Hot Cheetos Just Got Her Into Some Hot Water With TSA

Culture

A Woman’s Obsession With Hot Cheetos Just Got Her Into Some Hot Water With TSA

Look, it’s no news that the world is currently undergoing a real crisis when it comes to Hot Cheetos. Not only does it seem that there are never enough, but it also seems that we cannot GET enough. From inspiring fashion ranges (like Forever 21s)  to sparking all kinds of similar spin-offs in the snack and chip world, there’s no doubt that the spicy, somehow simultaneously soft and crispy treat has taken over. Which presents new problems. 

One Twitter user by the name of Emily Mei says that an obsession with Hot Cheetos actually led to her being stopped and checked by TSA.

The Instagram model shared a post to her Twitter account highlighting one of the more bizarre moments involving Hot Cheetos that TSA has likely ever seen.

According to her post, last year, Mei had loaded up her luggage with 20 bags worth of Hot Cheetos to bring to friends who were having a hard time finding them in Korea.  “For everyone who’s asking why i had so many bags of Hot Cheetos, apparently it’s hard to get in korea so my friends always ask me to bring it for them LOL,” she wrote in a post about the incident. 

It’s not the first time Mei has opened up about her Hot Cheetos obsession and struggle.

Recently the model shared a post to her Twitter page that featured her decked out in Hot Cheetos-inspired clothes and accessories. Wearing a denim skirt and jacket with Hot Cheetos flames on them, the model shared the post and wrote “No one: Literally not a single person: Me: This is how much i love Hot Cheetos.” The Hot Cheetos-loving photoshoot also featured her wearing a Hot Cheetos bag and glasses. Ultimately the look was complete fire and I am here for a Hot Cheetos campaign featuring Mei as an advocate and spokesperson.

Over the summer she also shared images of her wearing the latest Instagram obsession: the Hot Cheetos onesie.

Mei’s outfit came directly from Forever 21 and featured a Hot Cheetos one-piece bathing suit and coin purse. TBH the look was fire and even if the hot season is cooling down for most of us this ice of continent, it’s always summer somewhere and this look is worth the travel for a similarly cute photo-op.

Feeling inspired to try a similar look? Forever 21’s Hot Cheetos line is still up and ready to give you the most fuego looks of the year.

For the cutest looks of the summer, check out Flamin Hot Cheetos Graphic Jersey which will give you all of the best vibes for your Go! Fight! Win! game days.

FOREVER 21

This jersey mesh top features an embroidered “Flamin’ Hot” design and a boxy silhouette. For just $24.90, it might saying Flamin Hot on the front but there’s no doubt your heart is stiched all over this baby.

Another Instagram shout-out to Cheetos featured Mei stacking up on and eating all of the Hot Cheetos snacks once again.

Leading up to a trip to Coachella, the model posted an image Instagram standing in the chip aisle and holding onto two giant bags of Cheetos. “Did someone say Coachella diet ….? See y’all tomorrow if i don’t die from eating all these snacks.”

Of course, it didn’t take long for others to share the many other forms of snacks that they’re willing to smuggle onto a flight.

“Reminds me of exactly a year ago when TSA had to search through one by one every single one of my airheads,” wrote @TheBMWilson.

Soon enough, Mei’s story took on a new life with users sharing the various snacks they’ve endured at TSA search for.

“I remember when they literally made me miss my flight over some Costa Rican coffee !” Wrote @sheaintyohoe

One user shared all of the snacks they tried to get onto a flight proving when it comes to snacks USA kind of is on top.

TBH there’s no denying that we’ve been at the rock bottom for some time, folks (2016 to be exact) but these bags full of snacks made in the U.S. are proof that we really do know how to hold it down when it comes to snack obsessions. 

But here’s the important question: will Mei put an end to her part in the world’s Hot Cheetos obsession? 

Clearly that answer is not very likely.

From Rodent Hair To Poop, The FDA Legally Allows Factories To Have A Small Amount Of These In Your Food

Culture

From Rodent Hair To Poop, The FDA Legally Allows Factories To Have A Small Amount Of These In Your Food

yoshitherat / Instagram

If this is the first you’re hearing of this, you might want to just plan on skipping your next meal. The United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) sets a legal minimum for the amount of “food defects” a consumer can reasonably come to expect from their food purchases. Growing up Latino, the bulk of your food probably came from Costco, where every apple is encased in plastic and the food feels pretty sterile. Never have we found a bug in anything from the holy grail of Costco.

No matter where you do your grocery shopping, often, you can’t even see the rodent hairs or disembodied insects in your food. But the FDA knows it’s there, and the agency is trying to keep your cafecito at a minimum of just 10 mg of animal poop per pound.

Along with a small dose of mierda, you’re also looking at 4% to 6% of your coffee beans being moldy or insect-infested.

@thetakeout / Twitter

Talk about a witches’ brew. Your cafecito brew in the morning is basically the same potion our ancestors made for their enemies. Café Mierda, que rico. It makes sense though. Coffee is grown in the humid, tropical countries of much of our people. That mold creates mycotoxins which are toxic chemicals, the most common of which in coffee is a powerful carcinogen. The second most common mycotoxin found in coffee is Ochratochin A, which can deplete dopamine and cause cell death in your brain. Some say that we’re exposed to small amounts of toxins no matter what we do, but others suggest listening to your body. We all react differently to different stimuli.

Worse still is that there might be up to an eyedropper full of blood and pus in that leche.

@SnellKat / Twitter

Cows that are used for dairy are kept forcibly impregnated their whole lives so that they can produce milk. Once they begin the very natural process of lactation, their calves are sent away, and they’re hooked up to metal milking machines. The irritation from those machines causes mastitis, which is an infection of the udder. That means that those machines are milking infectious pus along with the milk. According to the USDA, 16.5% of cows used for their milk are suffering from mastitis.

This is so common that the FDA legally allows up to 750 million pus cells in every liter of milk. That’s about an eyedropper full of pus. Cafe sin leche, por favor.

Insects might not perk up your spices, but they’re there anyway.

@Canoopsy / Twitter

Paprika is allowed to be comprised of up to 20% mold. Let’s face it. Latinos are more comfortable with mold than your average Becky. We just slice that moldy part off the bread and make toast like it’s a no-brainer. For some reason, when we learn the government is allowing us to eat mold without our consent, it feels gross. If you’re not grossed out yet, you should know your typical spice jar of paprika is likely to have 225 tiny limbs or heads of dismembered insects, and over 30 rodent hairs.

This all makes sense if you try to reconnect to our food system.

@ChefDLewis / Twitter

Access to food on a daily basis looks like walking down illuminated, refrigerated grocery aisles, and choosing between plastic wrapped chicken breast, or plastic-wrapped Beyond burgers. Root vegetables like carrots are being misted every twenty minutes and look so clean and fresh. When we remember where, or who, all these products come from, it’s easier to imagine why insects may have hopped a ride from the farm to to your plate. Produce is of the earth, and harvest season may be the buggiest season of the year, depending on the crop.

That said, food safety specialist Ben Chapmen told CNN that he looks at insects in your food “as a yuck factor versus a risk factor. Insect parts are gross, but they don’t lead to foodborne illnesses.” More dangerous for human health is when plastic, stone or metal ends up in a food harvest, which is why processed food goes under x-rays and metal detectors.

You can control the amount of feces and rodent hair in your food when you buy as fresh food as possible.

@asolitarypagan / Twitter

Instead of using a can of corn, buy fresh corn on the cob. You might just see the insects crawling out of the cob as you start to peel the corn, and rinse away all the mierda you can. Technically, the FDA is more concerned with regulating the amount of insect larvae in your cans of sweet corn. That said, 5% of corn husks used for tamales are expected to be moldy and insect-infested. Careful with your fresh tortillas though, because the FDA allows an average of one whole insect per quarter cup of cornmeal. Is it racism? We can’t say.