The Evolution of Teen Boy Haircuts We Can’t Believe We Ever Lusted For
They say hindsight is 20/20, but in the social pressure cooker of middle school, the types of shoes you wore, to the backpack you carried, and especially your haircut were all social cues that determined whether you were cool or dorky. Thankfully, those social cues and hairstyles change all the time. For some reason, though, middle school boys are particularly resilient to outside trends. Every boy enters middle school with a certain haircut and goes through an evolution of styles, all of which we found SO dreamy.
Today, we get to laugh till we cry that our poor young souls were ever vulnerable to these looks:
Every boy enters middle school with this “Butt Cutt.”
Step One: put a bowl over your head and start cutting, granting you the infamously cheap “Bowl Cut” of your childhood. Then, part your bangs to create curtains around your face. Welcome to the Butt Cut, and never forget how cool you thought it was. As worn by Rider Strong, also known as Shawn Hunter of Boy Meets World.
As middle school boys start to feed on each other’s energy, they all end up looking like this within the first six months of school.
When Justin Bieber rose to popularity, it became Justin Bieber hair. We all know that every other middle schoolboy in school had this haircut. Why? This is when tween boys started to assert their independence. We were all avoiding our mami’s scissors and trying to “grow up.” The irony that this is the cut that will forever be associated with pre-adolescence. ????
Enter the Emo phase hair cut.
You might think this is the same as the Bieber cut, but you’d be wrong. The hair is definitely longer and layered toward the bottom. Also, this is the phase when tweens start growing peach fuzz and are usually a little emo about it. Couple peach fuzz mustaches on display like a trophy with longer, mom-avoidant hair and sweeping bangs, and we’ve progressed to the emo phase. Mientras, poor teen girls growing their peach fuzz mustaches are having a whole different experience.
Some go on to grow out quasi-mullets, and we swear this is cool now.
Ricky Martin rocked a mullet like nobody else could. The kids that usually end up growing their hair out this long end up falling into the surf or skate bro cliques, the music scene or become Jonathan Van Ness, all of which sound like great options. If you don’t believe us that mullets are back, take a stroll down Silver Lake, Los Angeles and become shooketh.
Others chop their hair a little shorter and go for the fluffy baby bird look.
We’re in the phase now where everyone is obsessively grooming and brushing their hair. We’re no longer feeling emo about going through puberty and want to let go of that smelly middle school boy reputation. When you see the fluffy bird look, know that they actually care what you think of them now.
Finally, it’s time for the buzz cut.
The summer between 7th grade and 8th grade is like a metamorphosis beyond that of a butterfly chrysalis. All of a sudden, all the dudes grew a foot taller, aren’t too nervous around their crushes to eat half their lunches, and shaved all the hair off their head. It’s like Mother Nature’s way of giving every 8th-grade boy a fresh start to regrow their hair and find their own individualized identities.
The very last phase is heavily reliant on hair product.
I am so sorry, but there is nothing you can do about it. In the 2000s, it was the spiky bleach-tipped look circa ‘N Sync and the Backstreet Boys. Then it was Justin Timberlake’s noodle hair perm coupled with a hairspray form of concrete. Later, it was the very product-heavy mohawk. These days, we have a feeling it’s the undercut matched with a tousled fluff on top.
This is the part where everyone kind of goes their own separate ways. Finally, we’re not so ruled by all the intense social rules of middle school. The real deal is knowing that no matter what you do with your hair to keep up with trends, you’re always going to give your future self the gift of a good laugh. Go crazy.
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