Culture

Elon Musk Still Wants To Release His Teslaquila But He Doesn’t Seem To Be Making It Happen

Love it or hate him, there is no denying that tech billionaire Elon Musk is a real disrupter. He is one of the minds behind the groundbreaking online transactions system PayPal, among other successful digital ventures. He has also revolutionized the car industry with his clean Tesla models and is in the run to be one of the power players in the private space industry with his project SpaceX.

So what is next for this mogul who is famous for his sometimes overwhelming frankness and for almost always getting his way? Musk is the man who famously said: “When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor” and “I could either watch it happen or be a part of it”. So the story you are about to read does not fall out of character for this man born in Pretoria, South Africa, in 1971, and who graduated from the University of Pennsylvania.

Read on to find out what the new goal is for this modern-day Citizen Kane. Sign with us: “Tequila! nana nara na na na na”. 

This might sound like an April Fool’s joke, but it isn’t: Elon Musk actually wants to release a tequila-like drink.

Credit: @elonmusk / Twitter

On October 2018 the technology mogul announced that he was developing Teslaquila, a drink derived 100% from Blue Agave, the plant that tequila comes from. We mean, the word “Teslaquila” is adorable and smart, but isn’t tequila supposed to be produced in Mexico only? Isn’t making a tequila that has nothing to do with Mexico a sort of cultural appropriation? Tequila, es importante decirlo, has a Denomination of Origin, which means that it can only be produced in the region of Tequila, Mexico. Problems ahead for Elon and his company, as the tequila industry is a tightly knit group that has resisted production outside of Mexico for decades.

And of course, social media wasn’t taking it too seriously. Musk in the tequila business, seriously?

Credit: mememumma2 / Instagram

Memes started to come out about Elon’s new project. Fake bottle designs such as this one, featuring a gringo having a siesta by his Tesla, soon started to populate social media. We all had a good laugh about it, but when Musk sets his mind on something things usually are set in motion.

Hey, Elon, shake those maracas, muchacho!

Credit: t35l_4 / Instagram

Some fake bottles were more on brand, such as this one of Elon’s silhouette while shaking a pair of maracas and being serenaded by a mariachi band. A little too much gringo-cinco-de-mayouuuu for us. 

Although some of Elon Musk’s fanboys couldn’t wait to crack a Teslaquila bottle open!

Credit: spiritshunters / Instagram

Musk has legions of hardcore fans, particularly men who venerate him like a god. Of course, the idea of having a Teslaquila-infused fratboy party really got their juices flowing, and some even created artistic odes to Elon Musk’s new great idea. Online transactions, cars, the new space age… tequila! 

Here is the approximate design, pretty much in the same high tech style of the rest of the Tesla emporium

Credit: Screen-Shot-2018-10-12-at-10.22.52-AM. Digital image. Tech Crunch.

Elon even released this approximate design for the bottle. It looks high tech and kind of cool, to be honest. Will we ever see those on shelves? First Elon needs to solve a “little” problem. 

But they couldn’t so they are involved in a trademark dispute, because tequila has to be produced in a specific part of Mexico.

Credit: maxresdefault. Digital image. My Tesla Life

The Tequila Regulatory Council made it very clear in November 2018 that Musk’s Teslaquila would not fly, even if the billionaire vowed to fight “Big Tequila.” As reported by SyndiGate Media, the council asserted that: “If Tesla wants to make Teslaquila viable as a tequila it would have to associate itself with an authorized tequila producer, comply with certain standards and request authorization from Mexico`s Industrial Property Institute. Otherwise, it would be making unauthorized use of the denomination of origin for tequila”. Ouch, that must have hurt the ego of a man who is famous for almost always getting his way. 

They have files to register the trademark but it is useless without the rights to call it tequila.

Credit: Screen-Shot-2018-10-12-at-1.03.38-PM. Digital image. Electreck

Thus is the actual attempt by Musk to take Teslaquila off the ground. Not so quick, mister. It seems, however, that the Musk will be a good boy and follow the rules. In November 2018 The Toronto Sun published: “A Tesla spokesperson said the CRT’s worries are unfounded and that Teslaquila will comply with all the organization’s necessary standards and requirements. The spokesperson added that Teslaquila will be made in the Mexican state of Jalisco, and Tesla expects to get the CRT’s approval for the beverage”. So did the Tequila Chamber and journalists jump the gun in anticipation of a long and costly legal fight. 

But as Musk found out, making real tequila is not that simple, legally or otherwise. Everything is at a standstill.

Credit: tesla-mexico-header. Digital image. VinePair

The authorities have been clear. As reported by CE Noticias Financieras on March 28, 2019, no brands, including Teslaquila, can use the word tequila because this is reserved to the alcoholic beverage derived from blue agave produced in the Tequila region, in the Mexican state of Jalisco. “We are going to have, without any doubt, all the possibility of being able to take them out of the market and take corresponding legal actions. This recognition will give much greater certainty to the industry. I practically believe that it makes tequila one of the most protected products in Europe and in Latin America, “explained Ramón González Figueroa, president of the Tequila Regulatory Chamber, to CE Noticias Financieras. This Chamber has been successful in cases against “fake tequila” in countries like Japan and Chile, where Mariachi Tequila was defeated in the courts. “Teslaquila” is too close to “Tequila” to be considered a different product.

Musk is ready for a fight, or so he says and we are still waiting to see that fight.

Credit: godemperormusk / Instagram

Elon is a legendary underdog and he loves a big fight. One of his mottos is: “Persistence is very important. You should not give up unless you are forced to give up”. He has vowed to fight what he calls “Big Tequila”. We think that this attitude is a bit colonial and, honestly, a little disrespectful. He has it all and wants more, even if it is in detriment of tequila producers who actually live and work in… you guessed… a little place called Tequila! Is this what we would call cultural appropriation? Maybe. 

In the meantime, other celebrities North of the Border have successfully announced their plans to launch tequila brands.

Credit: @TeslaHab / Twitter

Recently, Breaking Bad protagonists Aaron Paul and Bryan Craston teased a reunion, which had fans of their iconic TV show drooling at the possibility of a new adventure. But nah, they are touring Mexico looking for the perfect conditions to produce and release their own tequila. It must really sting for Musk to see other people doing it the right way and getting to make their tequila dreams a reality. Obviously, Musk fans brought up the still plausible possibility of Teslaquila. Hey, Elon, we got a slogan for you: “Teslaquila: a drink that will electrify you!”

READ: Elon Musk’s ‘Teslaquila’ Drink Faces Legal Trouble From Mexican Tequila Industry

Latino Man’s Tesla Sentry Mode Alerted The Owner When A Disgruntled Fan Kicked His Car In The Parking Lot

Things That Matter

Latino Man’s Tesla Sentry Mode Alerted The Owner When A Disgruntled Fan Kicked His Car In The Parking Lot

ABC 7 / Jay Rosas / YouTube

Tesla’s Sentry Mode alerted its owner, Jay Rosas, to vandalism during last week’s San Francisco 49ers game against the Seattle Seahawks at Santa Clara’s Levi’s Stadium, and, now, the public has been alerted to help identify the vandal captured by Tesla’s nine cameras. For Tesla owners, gone are the days of returning to your car only to find it’s been devastated by a hit and run, or keyed by frustrated or angry vandals. In fact, for Jay Rosas, he didn’t even have to wait to watch his team, the San Francisco 49ers, lose to the Seattle Seahawks before returning to his car to see the destruction. Before the first half was even over, his car alerted him to a break-in, and he immediately went to investigate and involve the police. 

In a moment of anger, a fellow 49ers fan kicked in the trunk of his Tesla Model X, causing $4,700 in damage. Thanks to Tesla’s Sentry Mode, it’s all been caught on tape, and the vandal’s face is being blasted on the Internet to help Rosas find the less-than-exemplary citizen, who could now face felony charges.

Meet Suspect Angry 49ers Vandal:

CREDIT: @LIKETESLAKIM / TWITTER

“I ended up missing most of the game because I was outside dealing with the security people, the CHP, the police report, and we ended up losing the game, so it really kind of sucked,” Rosas told a local outlet. “To see another fan do that to our vehicle was really saddening and unfortunate.”

While the night might have been a bust for both the San Francisco 49ers, for Rosas and his trunk, the suspect could face jail time for his burst of anger. Even more, folks can’t seem to figure out why this guy was walking around the parking lot in so much anger. The 49ers were winning at the time.

The video shows Suspect Angry 49ers Vandal aggressively kicking in the car’s trunk and continuing to walk away.

CREDIT: @DANAVILCEA / TWITTER

Rosas has released the car’s footage to the Santa Clara Police Department to help identify the suspect, and lean on public support for any information regarding the identity of our Suspect Angry 49ers Vandal. While Rosas could see the suspect vandalizing his car from several different angles, it wasn’t until he left the stands and made it to his car that he could see the damage. A single kick caused more than $4,700 in damage. While the rest of us have certainly returned to our cars and had to pay for someone’s uncontrolled anger out of pocket, Tesla’s Sentry Mode and the public’s help may aid in identifying the vandal and making him pay for his crimes.

Under California law, if convicted, the vandal would face a minimum of one year in jail but could be sentenced to three years in jail. He would also have to pay a fine of up to $10,000.

Rosas is offering a $1,000 or two 49ers tickets for any information that would lead to an arrest.

CREDIT: @ACCESS_LIBERTY / TWITTER

It’s simply not okay to destroy someone else’s property no matter how angry you are. “It is not typical for there to be intentional damage on vehicles like the one I’ve seen in this case. It’s actually quite rare,” Santa Clara Police Capt. Wahid Kazem, Santa Clara Police Dept, told ABC. “Nonetheless, it is a crime, given the magnitude of damage on this car, and the approximate cost of repair.” Much of Tesla’s body is made up of expensive aluminum, which is lightweight, but far less durable than steel and more expensive to repair.

Tesla’s Sentry Mode was rolled out earlier this year to help guard against break-ins and theft.

CREDIT: @BOOBYRETARD / TWITTER

Tesla’s Sentry Mode is will alert its owners if someone is even leaning on their car. When the cameras detect a more severe threat, Sentry Mode sends an “Alarm” signal to the owner, activates the car alarm, increases the brightness of the center display and plays music at maximum volume to scare the vandal or thief. If the Santa Clara Police Department’s Facebook page is any indicator of what the department wants to alert its residents to, vehicle theft is top priority. Of the nine Facebook posts made in the last week, five were about car theft or car vandalism. When a concerned citizen asked why Santa Clara residents even have to worry about it, the page responded, “Thefts from vehicles are something individuals should be concerned about throughout California, not just in Santa Clara.”

If you recognize Suspect Angry 49ers Vandal, please contact the Santa Clara Police Department.

READ: Elon Musk Still Wants To Release His Teslaquila But He Doesn’t Seem To Be Making It Happen

There’s A Women-Led Tequila Brand Inspired By Día De Muertos And You Need To Try It

Culture

There’s A Women-Led Tequila Brand Inspired By Día De Muertos And You Need To Try It

Satryna/ Instagram

A women-led company has made Satryna a new premium tequila inspired by Día de Muertos. The brand which boasts a 60-year-old family recipe passed down three generations have made the tequila with The Day of the Dead in mind. Using luxurious and premium ingredients, Satryna is only available in small batches and will cost you a pretty penny. 

Owner Nitzan Marrun, an heir to the legendary Tequilera Newton and Maestra Tequilera Mireida Cortes from Tequilera Newton have joined forces to launch Satryna Blanco, a triple distilled version and Satryna Cristalino, an Añejo Claro versio. 

During Día de Muertos, a Mexican celebration of remembering and honoring the dead, it is not uncommon to use a bottle or shot of tequila as an ofrenda. Enter: Satryna. 

A tequila inspired by the owner’s Mexican heritage.

The handcrafted glass bottle makes an intricate display of Mexican iconography. The focal image is a modern mockup of La Catrina. Mostcommonly depicted as a female skeleton in European style clothing to symbolize she is ashamed of her indigenous ancestry. La Catrina is an icon of Día de Muertos thanks to Jose Guadalupe’s Posada’s original satirical illustration in the early 1900s. 

“[Día de Muertos]is not only a very powerful and mystic celebration that brings together all Mexicans, but also great care is taken with every aspect of the celebration to honor our ancestors,” Marrun told Forbes. “Likewise my Satryna tequila is mystic, powerful and great care has been taken into every aspect in order to honor my ancestors and their legacy.” 

Each bottle is handcrafted and etched with ancient Aztec sketching, the metal topper is a sugar school, but more than that Marrun believes is a key part of Día de Muertos celebrations. 

“Tequila is part of the ofrenda,” says Marrun. “It’s an offering to the dead, which is an essential part of this day’s celebration…It is a way of honoring our family and friends who have past away with the food and drinks that they liked the most when they were alive. When we set an offering for my ancestors, we always place our favorite drink, Satryna tequila.”

A 60-year-old family secret finally comes to light in Satryna. 

A descendant of the Newton family Tequilera, Marrun says she spent years honing her craft and learning the family’s traditional methods. It took time but she was able to convince her family to release the 60-year-old family recipe that has been tweaked with Marrun’s learnings. 

“Growing up in Mexico, Nitzan developed a passion for tequila and spent considerable time honing the craft and dreamt one day her tequila would be admired and sold all over the world,” the company website reads. “After many years of convincing her family, they have now decided to release this legendary tequila so that true aficionados around the world can savor this special gift of Mexico.” 

The process of making Satryna is pretty intense.

Satryna is made from 100 percent blue weber agave curated from the “Tequila Valley of Mexico” in Jalisco. The agave is derived from the rich volcanic soil in the area and grown for eight to 12 years. When it is perfect, the agave liquid is extracted, then fermented and distilled three times. Lastly, it’s aged in oak barrels from California and Cognac. 

“The semi-arid and semi-humid soil in the rich agricultural lands of the Trans-Mexican Volcanic Belt is ideal for the harvest of our sweet agave plants. Each hand-selected and harvested is ripened to perfection only after being nurtured for eight to 12 long years,” according to the website. 

Satryna claims their Maestro Tequilero utilizes a tequila making process that is centuries old combined with a modern distillation process to ensure purity and smoothness. 

Each bottle of the spirit is numbered and signed by Carlos Newton, one of  Tequilera Newton founder Enrique Newton’s descendants. Satryna Blanco pricing starts at $90 and Satryna Cristalino starts at $169. It is quite the investment but the laborious process and the owner’s attention to detail explain the costly price tag. Moreover, the stunning bottle, with it’s intricate and historical artwork, wouldn’t make a bad centerpiece a once the contents are gone.