Once a year, we get to honor the absolutely ludicrous, outrageously dumb dad jokes that only a Latino padre could concoct. This one goes out to all the dads on Día del Padre for all the truly heroic effort they’ve put into making us smile-grimace.
We love you como nadie.
We’ve figured out the secret to all your jokes, dad.
Y’all are just twisting words around and we love it. It isn’t situational humor or anything with a super long backstory. Hard punches that are so dumb you feel fooled.
You have to say some of these out loud.
The best jokes are the ones that are so dumb it takes us a couple of times to get it. But when we do… ????
Luckily, one Spanish word has 47 different meanings.
That’s why Latino dad jokes are the best dad jokes. The language is basically built for you guys to twist our arms.
Back in 2003, you really got into the “Soy” jokes.
Like, “What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself?” Yeah, yeah, we get it. Bilingual jokes are the best.
Just say it out loud… slowly.
We’re not sure when you all started learning how to meme, but it’s slowing us down. Thank you for that. ????
If your mom and dad could create a meme it would look like this:
Mama out here trying to prove her point and dad backing her up with the dad jokes. This is every Latino family dynamic, right?
This *terrible* joke that was said at every family gathering from 2001-2011.
It’s a vintage dad joke. It has a different shine on it now.
Still, so bad.
Thank you to the dad who provided a key to his dad joke.
Other dads, take note. If you were raised Catholic, you already had they key brainwashed into you during all twelve years of CCD classes.
Dad joke of the year:
Wait for it… wait for it… ????????????????????????????
This isn’t a joke. We know you’re all dead serious when the “tu sabes lo que dicen” comes out.
Sorry Jade, we might all consider the ends of those sentences a joke, but our dads ain’t playing. Hope this made a hard-working comedian of a dad laugh a little. We love you.
The world is plagued with some crazy and unfair laws, no doubt about it. But what about the things that exist and legal? Why are, for instance, spam callers allowed to trick you by calling from similar numbers to yours? Or, why is it impossible to criminally convict your roommate from keeping you up all night or dipping into your ice-cream and lie about it?
Users on Reddit are asking similar questions and the answers are pretty hilarious but also intriguing.
“I’m just gonna have to say little girl’s beauty pageants. It just doesnt sit right with me. And not only because of the fact it’s creepy, but I feel like it’s stressful on the kid and on their body image.” –kitty-cult
“College book prices and practices. Change a few words in a math book, that’ll be another $100 please. Oh you realized that you can use the book from 10 years ago and succeed? Actually we require you get the new book. Oh you realized you can get the book cheaper from a friend? Actually we’re doing online books now and you need the personalized code. We change it every year even though there have been no breakthroughs in this subject! Knowing the college struggle i have no fucking clue how this is allowed to exist. It should literally be illegal.” –WitlessMean
“Sending letters to home owners labeled ‘IMPORTANT MORTGAGE / FINANCIAL INFO’ or ‘LAST WARNING / NOTICE’ and having the inside look exactly like a bill, letterhead and little box in the corner with figures inside… all to then say ‘refinance with us’ or ‘don’t miss this opportunity for etc etc’ Makes me heart skip every time thinking I’ve forgotten some critical bill until I open it.”- IDUU
“The fact car radio commercials are allowed to have police sirens or car crashes in them as a way to Get your attention.”- jagfanjosh3252
“The size of the ‘x’ button on pop-up ads.” –_Denes_
“Spice/K2/Synthetic Weed. This may have changed in the last few years but I found it embarrassing that our country locks up thousands for actual marijuana but allowed that shit to be sold at every gas station and liquor store knowing damn good and well that it was hurting and killing people.”-m0ndayisb0ng0day
“You can look up where any one lives because it’s public record. But can we please not have entire websites with data bases full of every person in the country?? I mean think about people who get denied restraining orders and try to move away from their abuser. Six months later and their abuser can just look up their name and find them all over again. This could be detrimental for spouse abuse victims, stalking victims, etc. something should be done about them. It’s terrifying.” –21DrunkPilots
“Lying through your teeth on “news” shows because you claim you’re actually “entertainment”. Even while it has “news” in the title of the station. Being able to lie through your teeth on an opinion show just bc it’s an opinion show. Opinions should be opinions about facts. Opinion should not be an excuse for slander or making knowingly false statements in the media.” –jseego
“No-knock warrants. We’ve seen time and time again where Law Enforcement has the wrong address and some innocent person ends up dead because of a logistical mistake.” –Mr-and-Mrs
“Putting unrelated crap into bills to sneak it into law. I know they’re supposed to follow some kind rules related to germaneness, but they clearly don’t, and clearly need actual laws with actual punishments for pulling this crap.” –Gr1pp717
“The troubled teen industry. Parents pay a company to kidnap kids while they’re sleeping and send them off to ‘therapeutic’ boarding schools where they are abused in every conceivable way.”- MyDongIsAWiFiHotspot
“Sweatshop labor outsourced by tech and Fortune 500 companies. It’s essentially contemporary slavery we collectively allow.”- crumpledForeskin
“Being penalized for calling out sick from work. Edit. Even while the whole world is trying to survive this pandemic, we’re still dealing with this major issue by employers. I work in health care, and I feel like I get shamed by my managers and coworkers when you call out. Especially when you work night shift.” –pongomer
“I (f) bought a car recently. During the process of negotiation I decided I wanted to do more research and the salesman refused to give me the keys to MY car so I could leave. Literally saw me looking for my keys and withheld them while repeatedly saying, ‘But what could I do to get you into this car today?’ I finally demanded my keys but bought the car anyway (they met my asking price and got me the financing I wanted) but I’m SO mad at myself for not making a scene. For allowing that man to hold me hostage and not being outraged. I don’t understand why I didn’t humiliate him and instead meekly just sat and took it. I called the manager the next day. But still. So disappointed in myself…” – UncomonShaman
Dads are the hardest to shop for. They never want anything and even if you get them something you aren’t sure if it is really something they want. Fortunately, we have you covered with this gift guide that will let you know what your dad really wants.
For those young daddies out there. You might be fit and in shape right now but it will happen eventually. Your body will start to change and next thing you know you will have a dad panza. Show them that it is something they can be proud of.
Here’s a chance to give your dad a little surprise news. Maybe he is about to become more than just a dad. Abuelos are cherished members of the family because of the love and wisdom they have to offer. It is an honor to become one.
Who needs abs when you can have this kind of six-pack? There is nothing better than a cold one after a long day or weekend and no one knows that better than dad. Plus, this is total dude humor than you know his compas are going to love.
Sometimes dad needs a little pick-me-up. Gifting him a shirt that calls him el rey is something that he would love. This shirt is very important during Father’s Day and his birthday because that is when he is truly treated as el rey.
Appeal to his sensitive side. The side that is so in love with your mom that he does anything for her. This is one shirt we will definitely wear proudly, especially when he is out and about with his vieja.