Culture

40 Thousand Pounds Of Avocados Fell To Their Deaths In A Texas Truck Accident

We all know how expensive avocados have become so some news out of Texas is really upsetting for hipsters and abuelitas across the country. Interstate 10 in central Texas was closed for several hours while officials cleaned up 40,000 pounds of avocados, which, sadly, did not make it to our homes to be far more lovingly smashed into guacamole. According to the Cibolo Police Department, two trucks collided, and Satan allowed for the empty truck to remain upright, while precious cargo was senselessly sacrificed without cause.

On this Day of the Dead, we would be remiss if we did not include the collective mourning Twitter is experiencing from this great loss. No humans died, by the way.

If our rudimentary calculations are correct, that means 106,666.66 avocados met their end on the side of the interstate.

Credit: @TamarahBryan / Twitter

According to Live Science, a single Hass avocado weighs about 6 ounces. With 16 ounces per pound, 40,000 pounds is equivalent to 640,000 ounces. Divide those ounces by the average weight of an avocado. The exact calculation is 106,666.66667 avocados lost.

The road was closed for 13 hours after the accident.

Credit: @ciboloPD / Twitter

The Cibolo Police Department alerted its residents via social media, saying “At 12:41am, two truck tractor-semi trailers were involved in a major accident. A box trailer full of avocados overturned causing the cargo box to tear open. Several thousand avocados littered the Eastbound lanes of IH-10 at mile marker 599. The second involved big rig was a tanker which remained upright. IH-10 eastbound is currently still closed pending scene clean up. Traffic is being diverted off the main lanes at mile marker 599 and can re-enter at mile marker 600. We will update when the eastbound interstate is back opened. Expect several more hours before complete.”

While their message was all business, their hashtags seemed to reflect that they don’t understand the holiness of avocados: “#fiberhighway #pitsinpits #hearthealthy #whynotdonuts.” My question exactly. Why not Donuts?

Once traffic opened up, the police department joked to “#GuacInPeace.”

Credit: Cibolo Police Department / Facebook

The Texas Department of Transportation arranged for crews to clean up the Interstate. Nobody knows what happened to the avocados. They have either been disappeared or else the local dump has become a gold mine. Don’t act like you’re not above eating avocados that have touched the road. #NoAvoLeftBehind

Some folks left joking comments on the Police Department’s Facebook requesting exact GPS coordinates to “help” with the cleanup. A witness of the tragedy commented, “I drove past the aftermath. What a tragic waste of good avocados gone to guacamole smeared all over the highway. :<“

Thankfully, no humans died, though two were seriously injured and transported to the hospital.

Credit: @racsiv27 / Twitter

“Two occupants, to include the avocado truck driver, were transported by EMS from the scene in stable condition. A third vehicle, a passenger van, was also involved and driven from the scene,” Cibolo Police Department’s Matt Schima told CNN.

Many folks were concerned that the incident would further raise the already increasing cost of avocados. One Javier Chaparro commented, “Seriously!?!? Does the driver know how expensive they are!?!? Wth!?” Someone else guessed, “That’s like, 10 million dollars worth of avocado.” Someone else joked that they were going to “::runs to pick up avocados::” before the prices skyrocket. It’s too soon to say how this accident will affect the daily lives of local Tejanos.

When struck with tragedy, this woman turned pain into haiku.

Credit: @Jessjones327 / Twitter

The unimaginative half of Twitter is taking the opportunity to exclaim “Holy Guacamole!,” but we know there was nothing holy about this incident. We applaud you, Jess Jones, for not saying “Holy guacamole!” Sometimes, a simple heartfelt emoji will do the trick. Moe’s Southwest Grill even replied to a news report of the incident on Twitter with a simple “????.”

On this Day of the Dead, we mourn the loss of 26,666.666 family-sized guacamoles that might have lived on at the foot of an ofrenda.

Credit: Cibolo Police Department / Facebook

Or… y’know. In us. Again, note the number of “666”s. This was the loss of an otherwise holy celebration of family, culture, and the coveted avocado, increasingly being held in our hearts and wallets as a Golden Goose Egg. Tejanos, stay vigilant. Maybe follow your local Police Department so we make sure these avocados get into the right hands, Avocado forbid, there be a next time.

READ: California Is Fighting Off 14 Fires Across The State Claiming Thousands Of Acres And Displacing Thousands Of People

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Texas High Schoolers Conducted a Mock ‘Slave Auction’ Of Black Students Over Snapchat

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Texas High Schoolers Conducted a Mock ‘Slave Auction’ Of Black Students Over Snapchat

Photo via Getty Images

Students at a high school in Aledo, Texas are being disciplined after the administration discovered they held a mock slave auction on Snapchat where they “traded” Black students.

Screenshots of the Snapchat group show that these unnamed students “bid” on students of color, ranging anywhere from $1 to $100.

One student in particular was priced at $1 because his hair was “bad”. The screenshot also shows that the group chat’s name changed regularly. The group’s name started as “Slave Trade” then changed to “N—-r Farm”, and finally to “N—– Auction”.

Upon learning of the mock slave auction, the Daniel Ninth Grade Campus’s principal wrote a note to parents explaining the situation. Principal Carolyn Ansley called the mock slave auction “an incident of cyberbullying and harassment” which “led to conversations about how inappropriate and hurtful language can have a profound and lasting impact” on people.

Many people felt that the school principal downplayed the gravity of the mock slave auction. Not once did she mention the word racism in the letter that she sent out to parents.

“Calling it cyberbullying rather than calling it racism… that is the piece that really gets under my skin,” said Mark Grubbs, father to three former Aledo ISD students, to NBC DFW. But Grubbs, along with many other Aledo parents and community members, say that the incident didn’t surprise them.

In fact, Grubbs said he had to take his children out of the Aledo ISD school system because of how much racist harassment his children were facing. “A lot of racism,” he said of his son’s experience at the school. “My son being called out of his name and what not and it got to the point he didn’t mind fighting and that didn’t sit right with me and my wife. My son was never a fighter.”

After the backlash to the initial statement, Superintendent Susan Bohn finally released a statement condemning the racism and “hatred” of the mock slave auction.

“There is no room for racism or hatred in the Aledo ISD, period,’ Bohn wrote. “Using inappropriate, offensive and racially charged language and conduct is completely unacceptable and is prohibited by district policy.”

The problem with “policies” like these is they fail to target the issue of racism at the root. Hate speech may be “prohibited”, but if a child is displaying racist behavior for whatever reason, the bigger problem is the way that they have been educated and indoctrinated. Slave auctions have no place in 2021.

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Texas Republicans Are Recruiting An ‘Army’ of Poll-Watchers To Go Into Black and Brown Precincts To ‘Fight Voter Fraud’

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Texas Republicans Are Recruiting An ‘Army’ of Poll-Watchers To Go Into Black and Brown Precincts To ‘Fight Voter Fraud’

Photo via Getty Images

The GOP’S voter-suppression tactics in Georgia have been gripping the nation. But now, the media is also turning its attention to other voter-suppression tactics in the rest of the country. Now, Texas Republicans are taking the heat.

According to Common Cause Texas, Texas Republicans are planning on recruiting thousands of volunteers create an “election integrity brigade”. They want the “brigade” to go into Black and brown neighborhoods in Houston and “fight voter fraud”.

A Texas GOP presentation was leaked that outlined plans to send an “army” of poll-watchers to Black and brown precincts.

“I’m trying to encourage and recruit, as a precinct chair, about 30 people in my precinct who will have the confidence and courage to come down in here…,” said an unnamed GOP official, pointing to majority non-white urban areas, “…in these areas where we really need poll-workers. Because this is where the problem is occuring.”

“So me finding poll-watchers out here, it helps, but it’s a pretty safe precinct”. He said this while pointing to majority-white Houston neighborhoods.

The video inspired outrage among people who saw these tactics as blatant attempts to suppress the voting rights of POC.

“The impetus for releasing [the video] right now is there are some bills in the legislature that seek to empower poll watchers in some really scary ways,” said executive director of Common Cause Texas, Anthony Gutierrez, to NBC News. “And also at the same time, take away the power of the presiding judge at the poll site from being able to remove a disruptive poll watcher.”

“It’s very clear that we’re talking about recruiting people from the predominantly Anglo parts of town to go to Black and Brown neighborhoods,” said Gutierrez to The Washington Post.

“This is a role that’s supposed to do nothing but stand at a poll site and observe,” he added. Why is he suggesting someone needs to be ‘courageous’?”

This “election integrity brigade” comes on the heels of a problematic election bill the Texas Senate just passed.

According to NBC News, the bill “bans overnight early voting and drive-thru early voting” and also “empowers partisan poll watchers.”

“It’s part of the intimidation, the confusion, the antics that (the Republican Party) has engaged in for so many generations that culminated in President Trump asking people to overturn the election,” said Harris County Judge Lina Hidalgo to CNN.

“What they’re doing is filing bills that are essentially a poll tax that weaponize the election system against our own voters,” she continued. “And what they’re proposing is absolutely tragic and reminiscent of the worst of what we’ve seen in Texas and across the South since Reconstruction.”

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