Culture

22 Of The Laziest Things People Have Ever Done To Food

@julietaroldann

Let’s face it, food is great. Eating is great. Meals are great. But you know what’s even better? Effortless food. Whether it’s storing it, cooking it, or eating it, sometimes the lazy man’s way of dealing with food is the best way*. And so, we’ve found 22 food hacks for all you lazy people out there who need to feel seen every now and again.

*Disclaimer: it’s not necessarily the tastiest way. But it definitely saves time and effort. That’s something, right?

1. Buy frozen vegetables.

Instagram / @marencaruso

There are so many reasons why frozen vegetables are a boon for lazy people. They’re healthy, for starters. Plus, you don’t have to chop or wash them – they’re already prepared! And since they’re frozen, you don’t have to worry about them going rotten if you don’t finish them quickly. There are so many good reasons to buy frozen vegetables, we can’t mock lazy people for investing whatever minuscule energy they have into using them in meals.

2. Embrace one-pan meals.

Instagram / @thesecretingredientislove

The oven is a lazy babe’s best friend. Bell peppers, onion and thinly sliced chicken on an oiled foil-covered oven tray cook nicely in an oven. And if you flavor them with taco seasoning, you’ll suddenly have one-tray fajitas. You’re welcome.

3. Heat raw egg with instant noodles.

Instagram / @iawnaek

If you’re keen on adding some egg to your two-minute noodles, then try stopping the microwave halfway through its cycle and add a raw egg, before starting the microwave again. By the time you take out your food, your egg will be fully cooked, and you’ll have a hella delicious instant meal.

4. Use a slow-cooker.

Instagram / @shelbymurdock

Owning an Instant Pot means that you automatically have a way of cooking your vegetables, meat, and whatever else without having to constantly check on your food. Just chuck all of your ingredients in, leave it for a few hours, and voila – you have yourself a delicious meal.

5. Cook bacon in the oven.

Instagram / @the_paleo_games

Just like one-pan meals, all you need to do is line a baking tray with foil or baking paper, lay bacon out on it, and then bake the goods at 400ºF for 20 minutes. Think about it: there’s no smoke, no mess, and no oil spitting at you. It’s a win-win trick.

6. Grate garlic and ginger.

Instagram / @gailpearce_beautifullife

Recipe instructions that call for finely chopped garlic or ginger are the worst. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Try using a cheese grater to prepare your food, instead.

7. Wash your knife in cold water to chop onions. 

Instagram / @minimaali_

Ask any lazy person and they’ll tell you: chopping onions is tear-inducing. However, rinsing your knife in cold water before you start slicing will stop onion juices from spurting everywhere – and preserve your sinuses.

8. Cut mushrooms with an egg slicer.

Instagram / @wohhupfood

Imagine: you’ve been chopping your mushrooms all these years with a knife when you could have been using an egg slicer instead. This trick applies to strawberries, too.

9. Check the ripeness of your avocados through the stem.

Instagram / @mimimal_mimi

Ever experienced the sadness of cutting an avocado in half, and discovering it’s basically rotten on the inside? Well, you never have to worry about that again! If you try to remove the stem from that pesky avocado and the entire stem comes off, then you know it’s too ripe. If there’s still a little stem left, then it’s just right!

10. Use a potato masher to make guacamole.

Instagram / @julietaroldann

Once you’ve found your perfectly-ripe avocado, it’s time to make guacamole! Use a potato masher on your avocado to pulverize it in seconds.

11. Prevent drying in the microwave.

Instagram / @cinema_viknesh_experience

On the one hand, reheating pizza in the oven takes too long. On the other hand, there’s nothing more disappointing than using the microwave and finding your pizza is ruined, rather than heated nicely. But, you never have to worry about that again – if you put a cup of water in the microwave with your pizza.

12. Change the way you cut your meat.

Instagram / @cutbeef

If you slice beef across the grain, it makes it easier to chew.

13. Reduce the ingredients in a cake.

Instagram / @ge_mac_dub2

A standard quick cake recipe asks for butter, egg, oil and cake mix. But, you can swap out the butter, egg, and oil with soda, and still make one hella tasty cake.

14. Skip peeling potatoes.

Instagram / @omars.90

If you’re making mashed potatoes and just aren’t emotionally in a place where you can be bothered to spend precious time peeling, there’s a way around it. Try boiling the potatoes first. Once they’ve cooled, you can pull the potato skin off with your bare hands. It’s easy.

15. Keep your cake for longer.

Instagram / @dessertbynaz

It’s time to rethink the way you slice cake! If you want consistently delicious cake, try cutting and removing slices from the middle, and press the rest of the cake together. By keeping the middle unexposed to air, you’ll keep your cake fresh, for longer.

16. Don’t waste mango.

Pinterest / @The Kitchn

Rather than spending precious time trying to slice mango just right with a knife so that you don’t waste any delicious fruit, consider using the edge of a glass to cut it, instead. All you need to do is cut half off the mango and then slide the piece vertically along the edge of a glass. The edible bit will fall into the glass, and you’ll be left with the skin in your hand to throw away.

17. Stop washing dishes.

Instagram / @jennymorrischef

If you wrap your dishes in clingfilm before you put food on them, it means you can eat with the knowledge that you’ll have zero cleaning to do afterward. All you’ll have to do is throw out the plastic wrap!

18. Cook two pizzas on the one oven tray.

Instagram / @_sarang82

Cut your two pizzas in half, and then lay the straight edges of the pizza against the edges of the oven tray. You’ll fit way more pizza on there.

19. Use a sieve to mash potatoes.

Instagram / @homemadewhole

Push your boiled potatoes through a sieve, and just watch it mash itself. It’s that easy.

20. Reheat pasta with an added hole.

Instagram / @ollunchbox

If you make a hole in the middle of your pasta before you put it in the microwave, that’ll allow your food to heat up quicker. To be honest, you don’t have to do this trick with just pasta – it’ll work with most leftovers that you put in the microwave.

21. Microwave two bowls of food at the same time.

Pinterest / @shay

Elevate one of your bowls in the microwave by putting a mug underneath it. That’ll make enough room for two bowls to be heated at once. Heck. Yeah.

22. Stop washing knives.

Pinterest / @Nichole Hill Alred

Try cutting a cake with dental floss. You get a cleaner cut, and there’s no knife to wash afterward!

What are your lazy person tricks that you use in the kitchen? Let us know about them on Twitter by clicking the icon at the top of the page!

Glass Gem Corn Is Getting A Lot Of Love After A Man Tweeted His First Harvest Of The Season

Culture

Glass Gem Corn Is Getting A Lot Of Love After A Man Tweeted His First Harvest Of The Season

While the Internet might call it “Ghey Corn,” this rainbow-colored corn variety is officially dubbed Glass Gem corn. Not only are there a rainbow of colorful kernels, but they’re also shiny, prompting the ‘Glass’ description. The person responsible for our new favorite, gay-friendly corn is a man by the name of Carl Barnes, who passed in 2016. Barnes enjoyed his life in Oklahoma and cultivated his own personal seed bank passed down from his Cherokee ancestors. Barnes chose to save and replant the seeds from the cobs with the most color, and eventually developed strains of vibrant corn.

One day, Barnes decided to move and asked his friend, Greg Schoen, to protect the seeds. Schoen grew a small handful of the seeds and was shocked when he peeled back the corn stalk to reveal rows and rows of shiny, rainbow-colored corn. Schoen was so excited, he posted the image to his Facebook, and it promptly went viral. Soon, the two cultivated enough seeds to sell online, and people around the country have grown gorgeous varieties.

Green thumbs around the world bought satchels of the precious seed and the following season, were “blown away.”

Credit: @watermicrobe / Twitter

While Schoen may have initiated the first viral sensation over Glass Gem corn in 2012, Ameet Pinto’s viral post has become Mother Nature’s best queer bait yet. With over 7k likes, “I STAN GAY CORN” is the most liked comment. Then, “Taste the rainbow.” 

Some people literally cannot believe this is corn, accusing Pinto of creating a jelly bean cob.

Credit: @mr_plantgeek / Twitter

“Those are just jellybeans ur not foolin me!!!!!” commented one unbeliever. Someone else seems to think that a profitable venture would be to sell the kernels as jelly beans as a scam. Still, others are bringing the negativity to this rainbow party, assuming that because the cob looks different from the mono-crop, that it must be a GMO frankencorn. “Glad to see people trying to live in Chernobyl,” tweets one disbelieving Shane. 

Glass Gem corn is not a GMO crop.

Credit: @Rainmaker1973 / Twitter

In fact, this variety likely healthier than the corn you might buy at a store, which may have been genetically modified rather than artificially selected. Barnes artificially selected the prettiest corn from his crop and decided to grow from those seeds the following year.

When folks hear the story of Carl Barnes, it just adds a whole new depth to the color.

Credit: @CwdickD / Twitter

“Fun fact about these is that they were discovered by a dude who was half-Cherokee and he started growing a sh**load of different corn types to reconnect with his heritage,” tweeted one person. As Barnes was artificially selecting which corn kernels he’d store as seeds for the next year, he grew closer with his Cherokee heritage.

For those of you expecting rainbow colored popcorn, don’t.

Credit: Glass Gem Corn / Facebook

All that’s left of the kernel when you pop the corn is usually that brown kernel skin that gets stuck in your teeth. In the case of Glass Gem corn, you can sort of make out the varying colors of popped kernels, but the popcorn itself is the same color as regular Joe Schmoe popcorn.

The Glass Gem corn isn’t that sweet.

Credit: @SlowFoodUSA / Twitter

According to Pinto, the corn isn’t sweet like yellow corn, so it doesn’t make for good fresh esquites or elotes. All popcorn comes from different varieties of corn that you have to dehydrate to turn into cornmeal or popcorn. “We’ll be eating some colorful popcorn this winter,” Ameet tweeted.

There’s even a Facebook group for Glass Gem growers to share their growing tips and cooking tips.

Credit: Glass Gem Corn / Facebook

In case you were wondering, the Facebook group “Glass Gem Corn” says you can prepare creamy Glass Gem polenta by following these instructions: “Pour into a shallow pan to cool. Cut into squares and lightly brown in a sauté pan.” We don’t know how you do it but keep on making gay polenta, please.

All in all, the Internet is pretty a-maize-d by the gay corn.

Credit: @DonConklin5 / Twitter

“Corn says lgbtq rights,” tweeted one stan. We’re with them. This is one of those moments that we’re allowed to be in wonder over how indigenous folks cultivate the land.

READ: Oaxaca Is Mexico’s Cultural Capital And Home To Its Largest Indigenous Communities, Here’s What You Need To Know

PSA: Here Is How You Can Pit An Avocado And Not Give Yourself Avocado Hand

Culture

PSA: Here Is How You Can Pit An Avocado And Not Give Yourself Avocado Hand

candypandawax / _sylviecouture_ / Instagram

So yes, there have been multiple reports of people injuring their hands while trying to cut and remove the pits of avocados. But this should not keep us away from one of the Latin American fruits par excellence. The avocado tree probably has its origin in South Central Mexico. In strict terms, the avocado is a berry with a very large pit in the middle. 

Avocado is one of the great gifts of the Americas to the world, as commercial production has expanded all throughout the world. The tree benefits from war, Mediterranean climates and thrives in semiarid landscapes. In Australia, for example, avocado, locally known as simply “avo” is perhaps the most popular fruit. Avo on toast is a staple in cafes and homes all through the country. 

However, the expansion of avocado has also brought some minor tragedies with it due to the lack of experience that some home cooks have in the arts of fruit chopping.

Credit: animationblock / Giphy

Yes, we are actually not kidding: avocado slicing has spilled more blood than a serial killer in a slasher film!

A nicely sliced avocado has got to be one of the most beautiful sights on planet Earth! We understand why people want to get it just right. 

Credit: the_chopping_block / Instagram

Seriously. This fleshy fruit gives us beautiful hues of green when opened and its firm meat allows us to shape in in all kinds of interesting ways. Close your eyed and imagine a bowl of perfect avocado cubes… you will smell a fresh tortilla heating on the comal. Taquito de aguacate, anyone?

So first things first: the infamous “Avocado Hand.”

Credit: @gabbytakesnaps / Twitter

This seems to be a sort of accidental outbreak of lack of common sense among gringos worldwide (and by gringos we also mean British, Canadian, Australian and European folk). According to Food & Wine, “approximately 8,900 emergency room visits in 2018 could be directly tied to avocados”. That is like a small town of people running around the kitchen like headless chickens holding a paper towel to their hands and screaming “Oh-My-God” while shedding a tear. 

And no, it is not an urban legend, Avocado Hand actually exists.

Credit: @mrsfergusonxoxo / Twitter

So contrary to, say, apples, avocados have a soft skin and soft flesh. And contrary to, say, watermelon, they do not have a hard bit to get through. Some people underestimate how easily the knife will cut through the flesh and end up putting too much pressure on the knife while keeping their palms or fingers directly opposite. The result: blades penetrate through human flesh, savaging skin and painting a symphony of crimson pain. But avocado is soft and cuts easily, and everyone should know that. In Mexico, the government once financed a campaign to promote avocado consumption, and called the fruit “the butter of vegetables”. 

Some people are just displaying their injuries like war wounds to be proud of

Credit: candypandawax / Instagram

In this day and age of selfies and a sometimes unhealthy obsession with self-branding, some are actually publishing photos of their avocado hands as if they were a badge of honor. Seriously, ladies and dudes, no one wants to see those stitches and gooey stuff coming out of your fingers, especially not on a closeup. Please just don’t! 

And even get tattoos to celebrate the accident.

Credit: _sylviecouture_ / Instagram

Well, we actually have to admit this one is pretty funny and kinda cool. We love the minimalist outline and the dramatic nature of this skin art piece. It is Shakespearean and hipster in equal measures. 

So avocado hand pins are a thing, apparently.

Credit: toucantango / Instagram

Do you know how Boy and Girl Scouts wear all sorts of badges on their uniforms to celebrate their achievements? Well, if you had an avocado hand incident and for some reason, you are proud of it, you can wear this pin. Alternatively, you could also wear it as a reminder of your encounter with the cuchillo, so you remember to be very careful when cutting and pitting a delicious avocado. 

Use a spoon, people.

Credit: @qvh / Twitter

So here’s the deal. Using a knife to take the seed out might look cool, but it is not for everyone. Do it safely and please use a spoon and just scoop the seed out. You might lose some of the flesh, but that’s OK (better than losing a finger). 

This technique is for expert knife-handlers only, so don’t attempt at home. Frankly, this is a show off technique for mamones.

Credit: mashable / Giphy

Seriously, this technique is a bit silly even for experienced cooks. 

If you are feeling creative, pixelate your avocado.

Credit: Anonymous / Giphy

One of the newest hipster trends in the cafe industry is to serve pixelated avocados, which basically look like this. Just use an extremely thin and sharp knife, place the avocado on board, get your fingers away from the bottom of the fruit and cut it in cubes, little by little, stopping just before you hit the skin. The results are fun and give us una onda de los ochentas

And some people take their carving obsession to the extreme: introducing avocado art.

Credit: theavocadoshow / Instagram

Just wow. This is already an Instagram trend and features some pretty dedicated avocado lovers. The fruit gets all-black quickly after being cut open when exposed to room temperature, so the most experiences avocado carvers perfect their skills in walk-in fridges. Yes, it is pretty, but with all due respect, it is also a little pointless. 

But if you think you just can’t slice an avocado without injuring yourself, you can get one of these contraptions.

Credit: takemymoney / Instagram

If you have to trust or faith in your abilities, you can buy one of these plastic utensils that cut, slice and pit avocados in a safe, child-friendly way. No blades or pointy ends to be scared of! No one if judging if you get one! This is actually a good tool to get the chamaquitos to help in the kitchen. Guacamole para todos!

But always remember avocados are not to blame.

As they say, don’t shoot the messenger. The humble avocado is just the conduit through which an entire generation of foodies has come to the realization that they suck at handling knives. We also have to be aware of the fact that thousands of farmers and workers depend on avocado crops. In the state of Michoacan, in central Mexico, many families survive working in big avocado plantations. This state has been ravaged by cartel-related violence and the avocado industry is one of the few stable sectors in the industry. So think twice before affecting the industry. 

By the way, the word avocado comes from aguacate, which comes from an indigenous word that means testicles… you are welcome.

Credit: makeitmove / Giphy

Yes, the English word avocado comes from the Spanish aguacate, which in turn comes from the Nahuatl word āhuacatl. This word, you guessed it, means “testicle”. This is probably due to the likeness of the fruit and the male body part. We dare you to eat your next avocado and not think about this. Smashed avocado, compadres? Ouch!

READ: Avocado Hand Is Sending People To The ER In Record Numbers And Abuelas Everywhere Are Left Asking Why