Culture

20 Cakes That Are Brutally Honest And Just Plain Grosero 

Cakes have been used as a celebration for centuries. In fact, the word “cake” has a Viking origin: the word kaka in Old Norse (ha, we know what you are thinking… it sounds like a certain Spanish word, eh?). However, these sweet delicacies are sometimes infamous for how inappropriate they are or because, well, they are used to deliver brutally awful or honest messages. We found some pretty brutal cakes for all sorts of occasions… and shaped in all sorts of… well… you will see.

We found birthday cakes, despedida de soltera ones, and some of the most out there ones come from the frankly old-fashioned and terribly heteronormative gender reveal party tradition. Enjoy… or not! Do not try at home unless you really mean it!

1. Brutal honesty: los amores de verano son pasajeros

Credit: Instagram. @londonbakerboy

Many, if not most, of us have had a summer fling. It is part of growing up and also a common scenario of those first really tough heartbreaks. This cake is just so brutal that it hurts just like seeing that bus leaving with a loved one.

2. Just… ai nos vemos

Credit: Instagram. @itsa_michelle

We don’t know if the person who was taking the order at the bakery got it all wrong or if this is a passive aggressive way of breaking up with someone. Sale, bye, would be the perfect Spanish translation! The cake doesn’t look that good either!

3. We are so excited you are leaving… oh, sorry, te vamos a extrañar

Credit: Instagram. @the_Art_of_sweet

That Whoooo is like a cold, pointy dagger to the heart. We are sure that whoever this cake was for was not that happy. Una bofetada con guante blanco, as your abue would say.

4. Puberty sucks, apesta feo

Credit: Instagram. @beingsufia

This might seem like a harmless cake, but reality bites. No, no one can keep calm at that age. Whoever had a slice of that cake will likely face the wrath of this teenager at some point in the coming year.

5. Someone is getting fired at the bakery

Credit: Instagram. @joekstergram

This is just so bad. The writing on the cake is frankly awful (un poco de esfuerzo, compas!) and the message reveals lack of care in all parties involved. You are better off with no cake at all, frankly. The whole thing just seems effortless!

6. What a Matt! 

Credit: Instagram. @mamabake_r

This takes the award for best use of passive aggressiveness. Yes, you got a cake, Matt, but you were also called a dick. Es en buena onda, tranquilo.

7. Ouch, this is an arrow straight to the heart

Credit: Instagram. @mamabake_r

A cake message that could have been penned by a serial killer or a sadist. Imagine closing your eyes, opening to blow the candles and encountering this cold, harsh truth facing your one-year-older self. Ay, dolor!

8. You are the best… well, maybe 

Credit: Twitter. @carryyourwill

This gets extra points for honesty. What would your reaction be if you got this message that tries to be uplifting but ends up being quite insulting? We are sure that the work environment in this office is puebli chico, infierno grande.

9. Yes, your son drinks too much and maybe the dude at the bakery too

Credit: Twitter. @DailyMailUK

Seriously… we need almost no words for this one. It is wrong on so many levels, from its conception to its floppy but hilarious execution. We are sure Stefan grabbed those two bottled of JD to process all this info.

10. OK… taking your NFL fandom a bit too far

Credit: Twitter. @Deadspin

We would think that your 5-year-old’s birthday party is a happy event, right? Full of joy and with no room for negativity? Well, think again. We can only imagine the faces of the other parents when they saw this masterpiece. Seriously, dude, it is your kid’s party, stop being such an attention grabber.

11. We are all dying, second by second, year by year

Credit: Twitter. @thatladdybrie

Yes, every birthday is a kind reminder of all the achievements and joy we have experienced over the past 12 months. Or it could be a fierce, but sweet, reminder of our inevitable demise, of the fact we will soon end up buried or burnt into ashes. Hip hip hooray!

12. Yes, you are in your 40s, mi reinita

Credit: Twitter. @advertina

For many women in their 40s, birthdays can be bittersweet. This woman’s sisters decided to restregarle en la cara the fact that she is 44 now. Ha, ha, muy chistositas.

13. OK, then… this one needs little explanation

Credit: Instagram. @pasteleriawemakecake

Despedidas de solteras are all full of phallic paraphernalia. But seriously, this is just a little bit too out there. We are not being persinados, but this is just a little bit too much…. and unappetizing. The message on the cake: “EAT ME. Ready for the big night?”. Tasteless

14. This has got to be the worst prank ever or a very big #fail

Credit: Instagram. @diegue_cjs

We are sure that no one had the slice covered by this track of Woody’s chocolate poo. Que pinche asco! We feel bad for whoever got their birthday kinda ruined.

15. We celebrate this brave woman and her sense of humor: al mal tiempo, buena cara

First of all, it must be hard to deal with such a tough medical situation and be brave enough to share it publicly. But what is braver still is…

Credit: Instagram. @AuthorFarrah

Having a party about it and a cake shaped like a pair of ovaries! She is lucky to have friends who help her travel this road with a gran sonrisa!

16. Talking about human reproduction, let’s face the elephant in the room: gender reveal cakes! 

Credit: Instagram. @omgcupcakefactory

Gender reveal cakes might sound like a good idea, but sometimes they are just sexist and plain awful. Just look at this cake, which seems to have been designed by a silly teenager who hasn’t been told anything about how to deal with issues of gender and sex in a respectful manner.

17. Guns or glitter? Seriously!

Credit: Instagram. @slumberjack666

We just can’t… so all men are violent trigger happy mafia dudes and all women are princesses covered in glitter and dressed with so much pink that it seems like a flamingo puked on them, right? Ladies and gentlemen, it is the twentieth first century, please take your old-fashioned gendered ideas somewhere else.

18. Ha, ha, ha… they said “sex”… ha ha (cue Beavis and Butthead laughter)

Credit: Twitter. @PaopuMilkshake

We found so many terrible cakes with this silly message that it is not even funny!

19. If only life was truly like this! 

Credit: Twitter. @yaesohn

OMG, we want this to happen in real life! Imagine the faces of all the guests if a bunch of insects just flew out of the pastel. 

20. Talk about hidden messages

Credit: Instagram. @bluehorsebakery

This is either a cake for a woodworking enthusiast, or a not-so-subtle threat! Run for your life! This cake seriously looks like something out of the Saw horror movies.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

These 9 Arroz Con Frijoles Recipes From Latin America Will Change Your Nightly Dinner

Culture

These 9 Arroz Con Frijoles Recipes From Latin America Will Change Your Nightly Dinner

whitewish / Getty Images

One of the most iconic dishes from Latin America is arroz con frijoles. The mix of rice and beans is a smell and taste that sends every Latino back to their childhood. Mami and abuela always know how to make beans better than we ever can. However, practice makes perfect. Just try these recipes until you finally land on the flavor and texture you remember from childhood.

1. Casamiento Salvadoreño

View this post on Instagram

#casamientosalvadoreño

A post shared by Carina (@tachu_b) on

Casamiento Salvadoreño is a beautiful marriage of rice, red beans, peppers, and onion. The four different components get added at different times slowly building up until you hit the perfect balance in the flavor and consistency. If you like a savory breakfast, pair it up with some eggs and maduros and enjoy a Salvadoran breakfast.

2. Arroz Congri

Arroz Congri is one of the most quintessential dishes of Cuban cuisine. The mix of the rice and black beans is something you can find in any Cuban home or restaurant. The dish relies on the rice, bell peppers, and beans cooking together with spices until the water is absorbed. The method of cooking is how you can plate it in the iconic thick disc shape that we all know and love.

3. Arroz Com Feijão Preto

View this post on Instagram

Sometimes, I cook at home in my kitchen. Here is a comforting and ridicously delicious Brazilian Black Bean recipe These black bean beauties are cooked with onions, garlic, and seasoned perfectly with coriander, cumin, oregano, salt and pepper, next garnish with a lime wedge and sprig of cilantro to brighten it all up. They make a great side dish to enchiladas and more. Ingredients: 2 cans Black Beans, drained and rinsed 1/2 Tbls cooking oil 2/3 cups diced, white onion 2-3 garlic cloves, finely minced (I use a microplane zester) 2/3 cups chicken stock or broth 1/4 tspn cumin 1/4 tspn coriander 1/4 tspn mexican oregano salt &pepper to taste 1 lime and sprig of cilantro for garnish Instructions: In a small bowl mix together the cumin, coriander, and mexican oregano and set aside. In a saucepan on the stove, heat the olive oil to med-high heat. Saute onions for about 3 minutes or until they just start to become translucent. Add garlic and saute abut 30 seconds more. Add beans and broth, and seasonings then bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a low simmer and simmer for about 7-9 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add salt and pepper to taste. When they are done cooking, remove from heat and add in a few squeezes of fresh lime juice. Then use the back of a spoon or rubber spatula to lightly mash some of the beans. You don’t want to pulverize all of the beans. The beans will thicken more upon resting. You can add more broth/stock if, they get to thick. Recipe adapted by Our Best Bites I've been making this recipe since 2009. It is my absolute favorite black bean recipe. @utahanaskitchen @ourbestbites #blackbeans #brazilianblackbeans #sidedish #semihomemade #cooking #homecooking

A post shared by Utah's Food Flirt | Laura (@utahsfoodflirt) on

Arroz com Feijão Preto is Brazil’s answer to the regional love of rice and beans. What really sets these beans apart is the use of bacon to add some flavor and substance to the dish. Of course, there are still some veggies included but the true magic of this Brazilian dish comes from the smoky and salty bacon flavor.

4. Tacu-Tacu

Peru is known to be one of the best food destinations in the world. Tacu-Tacu is just another example of Peru’s superior food status in the world. The most unique, and fun, thing about this arroz con frijoles dish is the shape. To achieve the texture for this you have to remember to let the rice sit in the bean mixture for 15 minutes so that the rice absorbs enough liquid to be malleable.

5. Gallopinto

Gallopinto is another version of arroz con frijoles that requires properly layering and add the ingredients. The rice does cook for a brief moment with the onion until it is coated with the hot oil before adding the water. After the rice is done you add the beans and let the delicious dish cook to perfection.

6. Arroz Con Habichuelas

Olives go a long way it making this Dominican dish really stand out. Arroz con habichuelas is a classic Dominican dish that brings together chicken bouillon, olives, rice, and beans together to create something you won’t forget.

7. Arroz Con Queso

Okay, so this isn’t an arroz con frijoles recipe. However, who doesn’t like trying new things. Arroz con queso is a famous Bolivian dish and it is always worth trying something new. Cheese is one of the greatest and most important food groups, tbh so rice with cheese is just…. *chef’s kiss.*

8. Arroz Con Gandules

View this post on Instagram

Order today #Thursday #ArrozConGandules

A post shared by La Empanada Mama (@la_empanada_mama) on

Another rice dish that doesn’t use beans but is still just as delicious. Arroz con gandules is a Puerto Rican dish with pigeon peas that every rice loves needs to try at least once. Just one bite will transport you directly to the Caribbean island and will make you scream “WEPA!”

9. Arroz Con Frijoles Refritos

View this post on Instagram

These Vegetarian Enchiladas @lasmargaritasbc were AMAZING. You can definitely get one of the protein enchiladas (they have a variety) but I really wanted to try this one. It's Two corn tortillas rolled with cheese, green onions, olives, green peppers, tomatoes. Covered with a mild red enchilada sauce, melted cheese and topped with sour cream. Served with refried beans and mexican rice ($14.95). You honestly, don't even miss the meat! You also get complimentary chips and salsa. I love mexican rice and beans and this definitely hit the spot. Would 10/10 recommend. – – – – – #foodgram#instaeat#eatinvancouver#foodie#foodadventures#instafood#instalike#instafollow#followforfollow#foodgram#foodie#foodphotography#foodcoma#eeeeeats#instafoodie#girllikestoeat#604foodie#enchiladas#vegetarian#mexicanfood#mexicanriceandbeans#vegetarianrecipes#healthyfood

A post shared by Amneet Mithie (@girllikestoeat_) on

It’s all about the beans here. They have to be cooked more than once and in more than one way. After all, they are called refried beans so they aren’t just cooked once and done. These are a classic around the world and you have definitely had them whenever you went to a Mexican restaurant.

READ: This Iconic Mexican Food Won The Twitter Battle To Be Named Latin America’s Best Street Food

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Cardi B Sparks Rumors of Reconciliation With Offset After a PDA-Filled Birthday Weekend

Entertainment

Cardi B Sparks Rumors of Reconciliation With Offset After a PDA-Filled Birthday Weekend

Photo: via Getty Images

Despite Cardi B filing for divorce from Offset last month (?) and proclaiming that she “hasn’t shed one tear” over the decision, it appears that she has since had a change of heart…

Over the weekend, video surfaced of Cardi B kissing Offset at her lavish 28th birthday party. The PDA was captured by camera-wielding partygoers. Offset also documented the weekend festivities on his own Instagram, posting a lot of Instagram stories of Cardi celebrating her birthday weekend.

Offset also posted a birthday message to Cardi on his Instagram page where he was practically gushing over his admiration for the Dominican rapper.

But Offset didn’t just simply attend Cardi’s birthday party. According to multiple outlets, Offset appeared to have gifted Cardi with a massive billboard that featured a picture of her and daughter, Kulture, in matching pink outfits. Cardi posted a video of her reaction to the billboard to her Instagram, captioning the post with: “Thank you sir. I love it.” Fans quickly guessed that the “sir” in question was Offset.

View this post on Instagram

Thank you sir 😏😏😏I love it

A post shared by Cardi B (@iamcardib) on

Not only that, but Offset allegedly gave Cardi a brand new Rolls Royce truck with Kulture’s name embellished on the seats. So to outside observers, it appears he’s pulling out all the stops to approve his love and affection.

Cardi B’s birthday party seemed to be quite the affair. The soiree was thrown in Las Vegas and was attended by the likes of Megan Thee Stallion and Kylie Jenner. Social distancing rules did not seem to be in place.

The apparent reconciliation between Cardi B and Offset comes just days after Offset appeared to look distressed on his own Instagram page. When fans asked him what the source of his haggard appearance was, the Migos rapper responded: “I miss Mrs. WAP.”

Cardi B was also recently noticeably defensive of her ex-husband, telling her fans to stop with the hatred of her former partner and the father of her child. “I don’t talk to him but you not going to disrespect my child father,” she told her fans via Twitter. “If he die, go broke, you not the one that’s going to raise my kid & you not the 1 who pays for her shit.”

We guess we’ll just have to stay tuned to see what happens with these two.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com