comedy

These Roommate Horror Stories Will Make You Want To Live On Your Own Forever


Leaving your parent’s house and moving into your own place can be one of the most exciting, liberating, stressful and difficult experiences you can go through, but it all depends on one person: your roommate.

Just like that, your roommates hold the power to turn this liberating experience into your worst nightmare and cause you to go running back to your parents’ house. Don’t believe us? Check out these roommate horror stories…

Roommate Horror Story #1

“My roommate was running an illegal massage parlor out of our dorm room. She would have all of these old men in and out of our dorm room all the time and I kinda knew what she was doing but I decided to mind my own business. One of the men that came over ended up being an undercover cop and arrested her. It turns out everyone living in our suite dorm was under investigation for a couple of months and she ended up confessing to prostitution. In the end she ended up hating me because she thought I had snitched, even though she was posting Craigslist ads and wasn’t even being careful about it. Smh.”

CREDIT: @NATALIAESTRADA_ / TWITTER

Well DAMN, that roommate story escalated quickly.


So happy I never had a roommate problem like this.

Roommate Horror Story #2

When we all first moved in together, I’m talking about like a month into it, my roommate told me that his family was going through some stuff so his mom was going to live with us. I said it was totally cool. I mean if my mom was going through something of course I’m going to have her stay with me. The problem was that it ended up not just being his mom… It was his mom, his two sisters, and the two kids of one of the sisters. So instead of only us three living in the apartment, it was eight of us in a three bedroom, one bathroom apartment. And they ended up staying for 6 MONTHS instead of just a couple of weeks like my roommate had said. It was a nightmare.”

CREDIT: ANONYMOUS

OH…EM…GEE. This would’ve driven me nuts.

CREDIT: HARPO PRODUCTIONS

This +1 invitation turned into a +20, just like it happens at most Latino family parties. 😅

Roommate Horror Story #3

“My roommate literally gave the key to the apartment to random strangers. I’d walk out of my room and boom…another guy I didn’t know just watching TV. She also brought stray cats home. Filled up our place with fleas. 😩”

CREDIT: @ADUHDELGADO / TWITTER

SMH. Unacceptable.


I would’ve moved out in a heartbeat if there were stray cats and stray people in our apartment.

Roommate Horror Story #4

“I lived with two boy roomies (I’m a girl). And everything was fine until one day I realized that one of them had been using my stuff. I found out in the grossest way… My body soap was full of hairs.”

CREDIT: @ROZIIC / TWITTER

That is just plain DIS-GUS-TING.


Pro tip: Buy a shower caddy, hide it under your bed and only take it to the bathroom when you’re going to use it.

Roommate Horror Story #5

“In my college dorm room, my roommate’s bed was only 3 feet away from my bed. At the time, I didn’t have any classes until 10am or later each day. However, my roommate had a 7am class. And every damn morning her annoying iPhone alarm clock would go off around 5am. You know, that loud, annoying, horn-like-sound alarm. The alarm would wake me up every damn morning, but since she was a deep sleeper, she wouldn’t hear the alarm and it would keep ringing for 20 minutes straight. But this wasn’t the only problem I had with this roommate. Every time she was on her monthly menstrual cycle, she would go into the bathroom to change her pad and then she would toss her old, bloody pad into the trashcan that was in our room instead of tossing it in the bathroom trashcan. Even worse, is that she would leave her pad lying all wide and open in the trashcan. She wouldn’t even roll it up.”

Credit: Jessica Garcia / Facebook

That is just horrifying.


I would hate to have a roommate like that.

Roommate Horror Story #6

“So when I was in college I was a starving student. I hardly had any money for food and I didn’t have a car so I had to take the bus. And one day I remember I was so damn hungry during my lecture. And I remembered that I had a Twinkie in my dorm, sitting on my desk. I couldn’t even focus in class because I was thinking about how I was going to eat my Twinkie as soon as I got to my dorm.

As soon as my class was over I rushed to my dorm, all out of breath. And when I got there my Twinkie was GONE. So I asked my roommate Wanda, ‘Wanda did you take my Twinkie? I had a Twinkie on my desk and it’s not there anymore. Did you eat my Twinkie?’ And she said, ‘Nah, why would I eat your Twinkie?’ So I go back to my desk and then I see the damn Twinkie wrapper in my trash bin.”

CREDIT: SUSANA GARCIA / FACEBOOK

If someone ate my food without asking, this is how I would react:


That’s just something you don’t mess with – someone’s food.

Roommate Horror Story #7

“So one day I was minding my own damn business, studying and doing my work on my desk, when suddenly my roommate grabs her cup of water and just throws all of the water onto my textbook. Mind you, this textbook cost over $100. I obviously got mad and started yelling at her, asking her why she would do that. And then my other roommate stepped in and started yelling at her as well. But this roommate of mine was far more aggressive, so she started chasing after her around our apartment until she chased her outside of our place. We locked her out and it was pouring rain outside, and she was only wearing her shorts and sports bra. She begged us to let her back inside but we waited about half an hour before we let her back in.”

CREDIT: SUSANA GARCIA / FACEBOOK

Well at least this roommate was able to get her sweet revenge. 😌


Moral of the story: Never mess with a broke college students’ textbooks.

Roommate Horror Story #8:

“My roommate was talking to a guy I think she found on Yik Yak. He was really sketch, but she was still into talking to him. A couple of days later after I found out that they were hanging out in our dorm, there were certain hours throughout the day that I couldn’t be around. One day I came to my dorm and my sheets and comforter were not on my bed. I was very confused. I sat down where my desk was and I was about to start working when I noticed a wet condom in my waste basket. Yup. She had sex on my bed because he didn’t want to climb up to her top bunk. She baptized that bed before I did.”

CREDIT: ANONYMOUS

That is so gross. 🤢


I would been so disgusted and upset if this ever happened to me.

Roommate Horror Story #9

“My roommate had this thing where she NEVER warned me when her boyfriend was in our room. They’d lock the door, so whenever I opened it with my key I was always immediately greeted with the scene of him scrambling to get his clothes on and her frantically trying to cover him up with her blankets. This happened more than once. Not only that, but even when I was in the room and he came to visit her, he would lock the door after coming in every single time. It always creeped me out.”

CREDIT: @ARIALDV / TWITTER

That is SO annoying.


I would definitely kick the guy out the room on the spot if that ever happened to me.

Roommate Horror Story #10

“My roommate in college in Miami decided to stack our beds like bunk beds. He got more sex than a rabbit in heat and never cared that I was in our out of the room. It started any time on any day. I put up with it for 2 years. In other words, I’ve witnessed more live porn than any other student on campus and I think I should be awarded an Associates Degree on that subject!” 😭

CREDIT: @FITGATOR89 / TWITTER

This person put up with their roommate for TWO WHOLE YEARS? I would not be able to handle that.


That roommate had no shame at all.


READ: When You Attend College Away From Home, This Is What Happens When You Return To Your Parent’s House For The Holidays


What are your roommate horror stories? Let us know in the comments and hit the share button below! 

Here’s What My White Husband Has Learned About The Latino Culture One Day At A Time

relationships

Here’s What My White Husband Has Learned About The Latino Culture One Day At A Time

My husband and I have been married for a little over three years now and he is still learning so much about myself and what it means to be Latino. I’m not talking about me having a big Cuban family all stationed in Miami (3-0-5 🙌🏽) or the fact that the best jokes in Netflix’s “One Day At A Time” are in Spanish. I’m talking about the little things that to me have always been a normal part of life. This is what has continuously caught him off guard…

If you ask him, I’m already turning into my abuela because of the things he is finding out, which to me is a compliment. Here are just a few of the things that he is starting to understand about our future together.

1. Seasoning your beans is hard AF but abuela makes it look easy.

gifnik.com

No matter how many times I try or how many techniques I use, my bean always turn out bland AF. This wouldn’t have been a problem if he didn’t have my abuela’s frijoles negro because now he has a reference point as to what beans are supposed to taste like. Though, he doesn’t cook so my bland beans will have to do.

2. That whole personal space thing is a white construct.

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I missed my hot mess buddy!

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One of the first things he realized about being married to a Latino is that all that personal space he once had is gone. I even go into the bathroom to talk to him when he’s in the shower because that’s 👏🏾 how 👏🏾 I 👏🏾 was 👏🏾 raised. 👏🏾

3. Family obligations cannot and will not be avoided.

Even if it means that you have to spend $800 to travel 3,000 miles back home for a weekend for your nephew’s first birthday, there is no getting out of family events. #BasedOnTrueEvents

4. My family raised me to be super eco-friendly (and very frugal).

The first time my husband saw me washing a Ziploc bag he asked if we had run out and that he could get some from the store. My response: “But, like, why do you want to waste money like that?”

5. Selena was and will always be La Reina.

anything-for-selenaaas / Tumblr

I know. I know. How did he not know this before is what you’re thinking, right? But you can’t hold it against him. I don’t think Selena had a very big following in West Virginia. There was no way he could have known that she is more relevant now than ever. Not to mention that she still wins Latin Billboard awards and I play her music nonstop.

6. My abuela’s obsession with reusing containers has been passed down.

After he came down from the initial shock of thinking that I left the sour cream in the Tupperware cabinet overnight, he made a joke about me becoming my abuela. I’ve never been so proud.

7. Calling a loved one “gordo” is not offensive.

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@f_uanteik #migordo #iloveyou #happiness #happynights

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Because, you know, someone calling you “my little fatty” is not okay. Imagine his shock when he heard a family member call me “gordito” in front of him. He was shook.

8. Every chore I do is just an excuse to put on Celia Cruz and dance.

mitú

Sure, I can cook in silence but nothing makes my time in the kitchen more enjoyable than some “La Negra Tiene Tumbao” or “La Vida Es Un Carnaval” blaring in the background. Plus, he is starting to learn some of her greatest hits.

9. Seventy-five percent of Latino cooking is just making that sabor.

To quote my husband: “Oh. So ropa vieja is like making pot roast then you make the flavor (sofrito). Yeah. White people are too lazy to make all that flavor.”

10. Being extra and loud is just in our blood.

I still have that trophy on our desk in the living room and he has mentioned moving it a couple times. Then I stubbed my toe, fall to the floor in tears, and he remembers why it is so prominently displayed.

11. Hot Cheetos are life.

He didn’t know they were so versatile but he’s not upset that we get to eat them all the time.


READ: 14 Things That Happen When A Gringo Marries Into A Latino Family

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Conservatives Are Calling For The FBI And CIA To Investigate George Lopez After He Made A Joke About President Trump

Entertainment

Conservatives Are Calling For The FBI And CIA To Investigate George Lopez After He Made A Joke About President Trump

Conservatives are enraged after George Lopez made a joke about the death of President Trump. The Mexican-American comic wrote, “We’ll do it for half,” responding to an Instagram post about a purported bounty. The bounty was suggested at a funeral procession for Iranian general Qassem Soleimani on Sunday and Twitter was set ablaze with some users even calling for the Secret Service to get involved. Here’s what went down.

After Trump ordered a drone strike that killed Iranian Gen. Qasem Soleimani a eulogist at the late leader’s funeral called for a bounty on the U.S. president’s head.

Broadcast live on Iran’s state-owned Channel One television network, a eulogist apparently called for the $80 million bounty while addressing crowds in the city of Mashhad. “We are 80 million Iranians. If each one of us puts aside one American dollar, we will have 80 million American dollars, and we will reward anyone who brings us [Trump]’s head with that amount,” the unidentified man said.

There is no indication the bounty is endorsed by the Iranian government or Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

On Jan. 5, 2020, news editor M. Hanif Jazayeri posted a tweet stating that Iran had placed an $80 million bounty on the head of U.S. President Donald Trump in retaliation for a U.S. airstrike in Baghdad that killed Iranian Major General Qassem Soleimani.

The Instagram account @chicanoworldstar, which has over 170,000 followers, posted about the supposed bounty. 

Credit: chicanoworldstar / Instagram

The post, which erroneously attributed the reward to Iranian officials, said: “#Iranian authorities have put a bounty on American President Donald Trump’s head during the televised funeral of General #QasemSoleimani after he was assassinated last week. What are your thoughts?”

Lopez responded to the eulogist: “We’ll do it for half.”

Credit: @joeysalads / Twitter

On Sunday, the Instagram account @chicanoworldstar, which has over 170,000 followers, posted about the supposed bounty. The post, which erroneously attributed the reward to Iranian officials, said: “#Iranian authorities have put a bounty on American President Donald Trump’s head during the televised funeral of General #QasemSoleimani after he was assassinated last week. What are your thoughts?,” the famed comedian left a comment saying “We’ll do it for half.”

The joke was quickly seized upon by right-wing social media users.

The comment, which has more than 2,400 likes and 750 replies, caught the attention of right-wing media, which was quick to claim that Lopez was issuing a death threat against the president. Lopez’s spokesperson told Newsweek: “It was absolutely a joke and that’s it.” 

But for some, it wasn’t just a joke.

Ryan Fournier, co-chair of Students For Trump, tweeted: “George Lopez just said he’d assassinate President Trump for half of the $80 million dollar bounty. @SecretService should take a look at this. The Left is sick.”

Some defended Lopez —like fellow comedian Kathy Griffith who told “Trump cult” to calm down.

Griffin faced severe backlash for a photo of her holding a severed Trump head. Right-wing media and supporters were outraged and ended Griffin’s career over the photo. The same people angered by the Trump head and the joke are likely the same who supported burning Obama effigies.

Chris D’Elia wrote: “George Lopez is a really big comedian maybe you’re not aware.”

Lopez is a comedian best known for the ABC sitcom “George Lopez,” which ran for six seasons between 2002 and 2007. The iconic comedian also hosted the short-lived TBS talk show “Lopez Tonight” between 2009 and 2011.

In July 2018, Lopez, an outspoken Trump critic, made headlines for pretending to urinate on Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. 

The footage went viral on Twitter and prompted similar right-wing offense to this latest incident, including calls for Lopez’s arrest.

READ: Victims Of The El Paso Massacre Received Visits From Edward James Olmos And George López And Their Reactions Are Everything