comedy

These Are The (Modern) Saints All Millennials Didn’t Know They Needed

Saints hold a special place in the hearts of some people. Want to find a lover? Some believe that hanging a San Antonio figurine upside down and pray, he will get you a lover. Others pray to San Francisco de Asis to make sure their pets are taken care of. These are great, but what about more modern saints to tackle the issues we millennials are really dealing with? Well, we thought the same thing and came up with a few of our own.

1. Santa Almohada to get your mom off your case on Saturday mornings.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

Like the name implies, this saint is guaranteed to make sure that you are left en paz to sleep just a few minutes…or hours…longer.

2. Santa Buena Noticia to allow chisme into the right path…our ear canal.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

Looking for good chisme? Well, give Santa Buena Noticia her offering of shade and before you know it, you’ll know everything about Lupe’s wild weekend in Vegas.

3. Santo Avo for that perfect shade of green.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

Santo Avo has spent his life, and sainthood, make sure that all avocado lovers are taken care of. No matter what that little avocado has been through, one prayer to this saint will guarantee a flawless cut and beautifully rip avocado.

4. Santa Cara for a flawless selfie every single time.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

This saint will always make sure that your contour pops, your lighting is on point, and your selfies are forever flawless.

5. Santo Chanclazo because we all need a little divine protection from flying chanclas.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

We all know that it doesn’t matter how old you are. Think you can get a tattoo at 25 and it’s all cool? Think again and make sure you have this saint’s prayer handy so you can duck that dreaded chanclazo.

6. Santa Cruda will heal you from physical pain. Lack of dignity? Not so much.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

Every Saturday it’s the same thing: pounding headache, dry mouth, and sooo much regret. Enter Santa Cruda. She won’t be able to erase the crazy sh•t you do, but she can make sure you wake up refreshed and ready to own up to your drunken mistakes.

7. Santo Palo to eternally capture life’s most meaningful moments.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

Simple: our arms aren’t long enough to take a good selfie with the family. Thanks to this saint, we finally have the necessary tools.

8. Santa Cuenta for when your wallet doesn’t stack up next to the Bible.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

You might want to pair this saint with Santa Cruda. The only thing worse that waking up with a hangover is waking up broke with a hangover.

9. Santo Weefee when you need holy access to the everlasting world of the Internet.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

Keep this one close so you don’t go over your data limit. Nothing ruins a vacation like going over your data limit.

10. Santa Gana ftw.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

Attention Manchester United fans: This saint has one purpose and that’s to help your team finally win. Just send up a little prayer up to Santa Gana and you’ll finally be able to brag to your friends.

11. Santo Elo because only something of celestial capacities can ever get his attention.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

Make sure you keep this card handy on your nights out. Santo Elo won’t be able to provide you with a midnight elote, but he can surely give you a fair chance of catching the elotero.

12. Santa Sana mi barriguita.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

Having a hard time with your diet? Don’t worry. We’ve all been there. Luckily, there’s finally a saint just for you! That’s right. Santa Sana is all about helping you stay on your diet…even if she has to slap that concha out of your hands.

13. Santo Silencio for when you need spiritual help to keep the chisme sealed in.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

If you do have a hard time stick to your diet (or just doing you all single and stuff) this saint will always keep the chismosa and nosy tía silent.

14. Santa Llamada to help illuminate the path directly to your long lost phone.

Christina Henderson / mitú
CREDIT: Christina Henderson / mitú

Nothing is more devastating that losing your phone. Since this is a new problem, a new saint has come along to make sure that your little mobile device is never too far gone when you need it most.


READ: You Thought Giving Up Chocolate Was Nuts, Look At These 9 Crazy Things My Family Endured For Lent

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Christina Aguilera Lip Synching ‘Lady Marmalade’ To A TikTok Meme Is A Summer Treat

Entertainment

Christina Aguilera Lip Synching ‘Lady Marmalade’ To A TikTok Meme Is A Summer Treat

Kevin Winter / Getty

In 2001, Christina Aguilera was a pop princess on the rise.

She further solidified herself in the world of music that year when she joined forces with the powerful voices of Mýa, Pink, and rappers Lil’ Kim and Missy Elliot for a recorded version of “Lady Marmalade.” The track, which had been created for the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, became an instant smash and classic. At the time of its release, the song was a number-one hit on the Billboard Hot 100 for 5 weeks.

Let us not forget that the song also taught an entire generation the infamous French words “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)?”

Now nearly twenty years after its release, Aguilera is reminding us of her musical chops and the beloved song.

In a video posted to her Instagram page, the Burlesque actress mimed along to a recent version of the song performed by TikTok sensation Lili Hayes. Hayes, who is 72, blew up on Instagram and TikTok a few years ago for her musical posts and attitude. She can often be seen on her pages singing or sporting hats and has gained fame for her sense of humor. She’s been featured in blog posts and major outlets like Vogue.

Her bio reads ‘Over everything. Always a little p****d.’ 

Christina’s parody of Hayes’s hilarious TikTok sent her 6.8 million followers into an internet craze.

Fans labeled the singer a ‘goddess’ for singing the song while dancing in her swimming pool with a glass of wine and an oversized black straw hat. In the video, Aguilera can be seen showing off her playful side while whipping her hair around.

“I feel like I’ve never sounded so goooooood! Yas honey @lili_hayes ! 😂🔥 #RealLadyMarmalade #LadyMarmaladeRemix #tiktok,” she wrote in a caption of the hilarious clip.

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This Man Posts A Video Highlighting Mexican ‘Avatar The Last Airbender’ Characters And It’s So Accurate

Entertainment

This Man Posts A Video Highlighting Mexican ‘Avatar The Last Airbender’ Characters And It’s So Accurate

@nacho_libro_ / TikTok

Who here loves “Avatar The Last Airbender”? It is one show that has been around for so long that the fanbase can only grow. The show is a fantasy ride that will take you to some of the most imaginative places. However, one fan realized something no one else did: some of the characters are Mexicans. Here’s what he found.

Roku

Credit: @nacho_libro_ / TikTok

Roku, a.k.a. “El Espiritu,” is one of the Mexicanos rocking it in the Fire Nation. Roku’s memory served as a guiding force for Aang along his long and storied journey. It is like that one compa you have who is always able to help you out of a jam. You never know how he will do it but he always does.

Sokka

Credit: @nacho_libro_ / TikTok

You might know Sokka as the defacto leader of the Water Nation for a time. When he was younger, Sokka wanted to join his father in the war. He tried his best and left with all of the men to join the fight. However, he was too young to fight and was sent back but was the oldest male and became the leader of the tribe. Much like that primo we all have who is the oldest of the primos and teaches us everything. Where would we be without that primo?

Zuko

Credit: @nacho_libro_ / TikTok

Zuko was born into the royal family of the Fire Nation. The prince abdicated his throne and lived in exile. For years, Zuko tried his best to catch the long-lost Avatar to get back into his kingdom. We all know that one friend that is trying to make up for something. At the end of the day, he is a good dude but he just has some things that he has to work out.

“Avatar the Last Airbender” fans are asking for more.

Credit: @nacho_libro_ / TikTok

There are so many more people that can be made into Mexican airbenders. The first three are already a success for the TikTok user with more than 234,000 views. Fans want more and it just seems like the perfect time to create more.

And it wasn’t just the setup.

Credit: @nacho_libro / TikTok

The TikTok user came through with his joke. Not only was the haircut so on point, he included a bunch of easter eggs. One of them was the América jersey that left some viewers screaming. Watch the video here and enjoy.

READ: Netflix Is Bringing Us An Anime Series Based In Fictional Mexico And We Are Here For It

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