comedy

Watch Romeo Santos, Daddy Yankee And Nicky Jam Be The Ultimate Corny Creeps In ‘Bella y Sensual’

Credit: RomeoSantosVEVO/ YouTube

Romeo Santos, Daddy Yankee and Nicky Jam just dropped a music video for their new song “Bella y Sensual” that pulls a page out of the “How to be a New York papi-chulo” handbook.

The trio shows us a typical night out for guys in The Big Apple, and it’s got all the trappings of the reggatonero life, giving us a how-to guide on being the corniest, rico suave dude on the planet.

First, stand around a rooftop pool with your boys, a chilly fall breeze filling the air, as women, for some reason, walk by in bikinis, looking cold as hell. Like, how come none of these dude offer her a jacket?

Next, make sure to dress up in the most ridiculous outfit you can find. If you’re like Romeo, this includes a leopard print shirt, gaudy gold sneakers and, of course, a fedora.

Leave the frozen pool area to go uptown to hang out in front of a subway station at 9:30 p.m for what appears to be an unlicensed street party. As you pull in your cars “The Fast and The Furious” style, high beams illuminating the street party, make sure to catcall any woman walking by. Remember to change your outfit from a fedora to a varsity jacket with a cape, because you’re obviously out here trying to save the ladies from enjoying a night out with their friends in peace.

After trying to convince a girl to give you the time of day, decide to leave her alone only when the police show up to break up your illegal street rager.

Finally, at 1 a.m., get to the club. Don’t forget to flirt with the bottle girls. They love that, and really want to hear all the illuminating things you have to scream in their ears over the music.

Then at 5 a.m., make your way to the neighborhood diner for some grub. Make sure to eat something hearty to sober up after all that free bottle service your flirting got you. Even after hours and hours of dancing and sweating, everyone at the diner is still looking impeccable, so remember to stay sharp, playa. Flirt with everyone trying to enjoy their late dinner/early breakfast. Who doesn’t want to be chatted up over eggs and the early signs of a hangover?

Just before calling it a night, make sure to holler at the same girl your friends tried to get at. Taking no for an answer, even though it’s the right thing to do, isn’t for you. You’re a macho stereotype. Get out of here with that logical stuff. Also, women love your arrogant pick up lines. Don’t worry about her friends who want to leave, they won’t think you’re being inconsiderate at all.

And after all of that, be sure to creepily offer her a ride. Attempt to convince her by calling her “baby” and “mamacita.”

Be sure to watch her drive away, and shout things at her when she’s still within earshot. Getting away from you as quickly as humanly possible is a clear sign that she’s into at least one of you.

Then, high five your homies for a successful night out on the town. And finally, make sure to be extra quiet as you creep back into your parents’ crib. Being a grown, catcalling, creep of a man is hard when you’re living with the ‘rents, but don’t worry, you got this. ?


READ: It’s Time For Men To Step Up And Call Out Their Homies About Sexual Harassment And Assault


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People On The Internet Are Getting Creative With This New Bitmoji Effect And It's Funny AF

comedy

People On The Internet Are Getting Creative With This New Bitmoji Effect And It’s Funny AF

One of Snapchat’s more popular filters these days is the animated dancing Bitmoji. He or she stands a baton in hand, focuses on the music it’s about to direct, when suddenly it starts swinging it’s arms around out of control. The animated filter is cute, but Snapchat users are adding their own music to it, and it’s funny AF.

This little guy perfectly captures the hype you feel when “El Payaso de Rodeo” starts to speed up.

That one friend that goes in on payaso de rodeo!

That one friend that goes in on payaso de rodeo!

Posted by We are mitú on Tuesday, December 5, 2017

This is me at every quinceañera.

But your tías will relate to the Bitmoji getting lit to this video.

This song never fails to get everyone to the dance floor, including your tías.

And this little orchestra conductor also knows how to get down to this popular family party classic.

No matter how tired you are, as soon as you hear “La Vaca,” your energy flies through the roof and all of a sudden you have the most amazing dance moves.

But it’s not only about fast-paced music. Mariachi is a genre that comes natural to this Bitmoji.

All mariachi leads should be this hyped.

And if you get hyped as soon as you hear some Cardi B, this is probably an accurate representation of you.

Yesss I love it 😂😂

Posted by Cardi B on Wednesday, December 6, 2017

This is exactly how I feel with “Bodak Yellow.”

These Bitmojis have so much ritmo, they can get down to anything.

Ayyyyye get it! ??


WATCH: This Youtuber Breaks Down What It Really Feels Like To Wake Up Hungover AF, And It’s Way Too Relatable


What songs do you think go with this feature? If this made you laugh, make sure to hit the share button below! 

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