This husband lied to his wife about where he was and his friends were there supporting him.
Lying to your wife can be tricky, but these guys had it allll under control. Even though this husband was clearly at a Chivas soccer game, he lied to his wife and said he was at a spiritual retreat – which she seemed to believe as soon as she heard people singing “La Guadalupana.” But truth is, estos muchachos estan en todo menos en misa. How many of our dads wish they would’ve came up with a scam like this? ?
Julio Torres is one of our favorite comedians. We first learned about him when he started to share his unique comedy on “The Late Show starring Jimmy Fallon.” Torres’s delivery is what gives him comedy that extra punch.
“I am Julio and this is what my shapes and I have been doing during the quarantine.”
Like all of us regular people, Julio Torres has been in quarantine to combat COVID-19. His quarantine included him being stuck with people he thought he knew well. Fortunately, Torres gave a little video to Paper Magazine to let us all know how he is doing in quarantine and what he and his shapes have been up to since the quarantine started.
The one shape that has been doing the most is Krisha.
Yes. That Krisha. According to Torres, she has really gone wild since she was forced into a quarantine. Not in a good or bad way. She is just really doing the most and it is all catching up with her. But don’t worry. Krisha is still filled with confidence. She has an OnlyFans page and is supposed to be donating the proceeds to charity. However, we are still in the dark about the charity.
“Krisha, you know, Krisha, true to her Scorpio nature, has been… I mean, I don’t want to generalize on all Scorpios, but she’s been waking up at around 2 p.m. and then being awake for a little bit,” Torres says. “Then taking a nap. Then waking up again and then taking another nap from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. Then waking up again and going to bed for good at 5 in the morning. She hasn’t been removing her blue contacts lenses the whole time, which is causing her this infection I think. At first we thought that it was something serious but it was just an eye infection caused by her not moving her blue contact lenses which I didn’t even know that she wore till I was quarantined with her.”
To be fair, we all assumed a lot about Krisha when we saw her in the HBO special.
As for her love life, well, let’s just say that Krisha is not where she wants to be. Who would have expected that being in quarantine would be so detrimental to your love life? Seems Krisha might be the only person who didn’t realize that she would be lonelier than normal at this time.
“She has been DM’ing up a storm just like flirting all day, which is great, but then when they don’t respond quickly enough,” Torres says. “I can tell when her suitors are not responding quick enough because she’ll just like throw her phone. Then she’ll look at me and goes, ‘What?!’ So, that’s what Krisha’s been up to.”
Laughter is the best medicine, right? For decades, there have been Latino comedians who have made us laugh because they just connect to us on a cultural level. We laugh because they are speaking directly to our experience and we see our family in their stories. Now, more than ever, we need them to keep us laughing. Here are some fun stand-up routines to give you a little jajaja.
Dating is a nightmare on its own. Dating someone who isn’t Latino can bring a whole slew of moments you’d never expect. Alonzo lets the rest of the world in on the trials and tribulations of finding fun outings with you date someone who isn’t Latino. You’ll laugh because it’s true.
Rodriguez goes right for the elephant in the room: racism in the Latino community. The comedian, who is Dominican and Puerto Rican with a Cuban stepfather, truly represents the Caribbean. As someone who represents the Caribbean, she knows the strifes that exist within the Latino community. Tbh, she isn’t wrong.
Torres is one comedian who really delivers something unique and out-of-the-box. His “My Favorite Shapes” routine is one of the most inventive and comical. The young man just can’t wait to show us his favorite shapes and how they are truly more than just some old shapes. If you don’t know Torres, you should.
For the LGBTQ+ Latinos, Lane is a breath of fresh air. The Italian-Mexican comedian mixes both of his identities into his stand-up routines. Being a gay Latino comes with its own unique sets of challenges and observations along with the typical Latino experience. Imagine being able to handle a religious and brutally honest family, which you love, as a gay child or grandchild of immigrants.
If you prefer something a little more old-school, Lopez is a solid choice. The man was one of the first major Latino comedians that reach that mainstream success. He kept it real to in his stand-up routines when it came to describing his Mexican family.
Johnson, of MADTv’s Bon Qui Qui fame, gives you moments to remember with her comedy. You probably still quote the nail salon jokes with your friends. It was one of those early viral videos that really imprinted on us.