comedy

These Are The Different People You Have To Deal With Every Thanksgiving

Every Thanksgiving, the family comes together to spend days on end under one roof. There will be fights, new alliances and the occasional moment of real family unity. Yet, through it all, there is a specific cast of family members you are guaranteed to have to deal with. Here are 11 of the people you’ll be forced to interact with during the Thanksgiving holiday.

1. The “Perfect” Prima

CREDIT: oliviabarad / Tumblr

We all know who she is. She spends that whole day doing everything she can to help everyone and will be highly regarded as the prima you should be like. What’s so frustrating is that she only acts this way when all of the tías and tíos are around. Behind closed doors though, she’s sneaking tequila from the liquor cabinet and swearing up a storm. Good thing your parents see through this perfect exterior.

2. The Gift-From-God Primo

CREDIT: Banana Republic / GIPHY

He swears he’s so suave and that all of the girls back home hang all over him. How? You still haven’t figured that out but you know when he is close because you can smell his extra strong cologne from a mile away. Who knows? Maybe this year he will finally grow up and just chill out with the whole smooth criminal act. But he probably won’t. It doesn’t help that all the tias think he’s perfect. Mira que guapo, mi niño! ?

3. The Judgmental Tía

CREDIT: American Idol / FOX

If looks could kill she would have wiped out the family decades ago. She’s the tía that hasn’t had the greatest track record with love, or sobriety, but she loves to throw others under the bus with one side eye. You would say something but disrespecting her as an absolute no-go. So you just let her judge because you’re a good person.

4. The Drunk AF Tío

CREDIT: mitú

No one knows the moment he goes too far with his booze because he typically shows up buzzed with a case of beer under his arm. Sure he gets a little annoying but he makes the party so much more fun. Plus, he is really good about distracting the family so you can sneak a couple drinks.

5. The Random Non-Latino

CREDIT: The X Factor / FOX

Whether it is one of your mom’s friends or one of your primos’ friends, or someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend, there is always a non-Latino joining the party. It’s cool though because they are usually the life of the party, trying their best to dance like everyone else and never quite nail it.

6. The Unstoppable Dancer

CREDIT: State of Undress / GIPHY

We all have that one tío that never stops dancing once the music comes on. Seriously. It is like he danced through the door and just doesn’t stop until he gets in the car to go home. How does anyone have that kind of stamina?

7. The Pet Whisperer

CREDIT: themadvigilantist / /Tumblr

If you have a dog or cat, then there is going to be someone who spends all of their time cuddling up to the littlest member of the family. Most likely it will be one of the kids but it’ll probably be you. It’s the one moment of peace and quiet you’ll get.

8. The Single Tía

CREDIT: Miss America / GIPHY

While your judgmental tía isn’t single by choice, there is that one tía that has chosen to be alone and it looks great on her. She is all the goals you could ever dream of with her career, amazing clothes and flawlessness. You secretly wish you were her because she seems to be the happiest person at the family gathering.

9. The Super Close Talker

CREDIT: Lele Pons / YouTube

Why are people like this? Sure, you might be family but why does that one person have to get right up in your face to tell you something. It is even worse if they are the person that has the bad breath. You know who that is.

10. The Extra AF Prima

CREDIT: mitú

Before extra was a mainstream term there was that one cousin who lived that sh*t to the fullest. They always show up late and ready for a fun time. Are you the extra AF cousin? If you have to ask then chances are yes.

11. The Food Thief

CREDIT: AgitoG4 / Reddit

This is the person that never brings anything and complains about how long it takes for the food to be ready. Then, at the end of the meal, you will always find them in the kitchen loading up plate after plate of food to take home. You could get mad but it’s cool. We’re all family, and you love them. But you know your mom will have some words to say about it later.


READ: #ThanksgivingWithHispanics is the Realest Thanksgiving Depiction Ever

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Julio Torres Gives Us An Update On What He And His Shapes Have Been Up To In Quarantine

Entertainment

Julio Torres Gives Us An Update On What He And His Shapes Have Been Up To In Quarantine

Paper / YouTube

Julio Torres is one of our favorite comedians. We first learned about him when he started to share his unique comedy on “The Late Show starring Jimmy Fallon.” Torres’s delivery is what gives him comedy that extra punch.

“I am Julio and this is what my shapes and I have been doing during the quarantine.”

Like all of us regular people, Julio Torres has been in quarantine to combat COVID-19. His quarantine included him being stuck with people he thought he knew well. Fortunately, Torres gave a little video to Paper Magazine to let us all know how he is doing in quarantine and what he and his shapes have been up to since the quarantine started.

The one shape that has been doing the most is Krisha.

Yes. That Krisha. According to Torres, she has really gone wild since she was forced into a quarantine. Not in a good or bad way. She is just really doing the most and it is all catching up with her. But don’t worry. Krisha is still filled with confidence. She has an OnlyFans page and is supposed to be donating the proceeds to charity. However, we are still in the dark about the charity.

“Krisha, you know, Krisha, true to her Scorpio nature, has been… I mean, I don’t want to generalize on all Scorpios, but she’s been waking up at around 2 p.m. and then being awake for a little bit,” Torres says. “Then taking a nap. Then waking up again and then taking another nap from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. Then waking up again and going to bed for good at 5 in the morning. She hasn’t been removing her blue contacts lenses the whole time, which is causing her this infection I think. At first we thought that it was something serious but it was just an eye infection caused by her not moving her blue contact lenses which I didn’t even know that she wore till I was quarantined with her.”

To be fair, we all assumed a lot about Krisha when we saw her in the HBO special.

As for her love life, well, let’s just say that Krisha is not where she wants to be. Who would have expected that being in quarantine would be so detrimental to your love life? Seems Krisha might be the only person who didn’t realize that she would be lonelier than normal at this time.

“She has been DM’ing up a storm just like flirting all day, which is great, but then when they don’t respond quickly enough,” Torres says. “I can tell when her suitors are not responding quick enough because she’ll just like throw her phone. Then she’ll look at me and goes, ‘What?!’ So, that’s what Krisha’s been up to.”

READ: Here’s How Julio Torres Convinced Lin-Manuel Miranda To Play A Little Cactus On An HBO Special

These Stand-Up Routines Will Keep You Rolling With Culturally Relevant Laughter

Entertainment

These Stand-Up Routines Will Keep You Rolling With Culturally Relevant Laughter

matteolane / anjelahjohnson / Instagram

Laughter is the best medicine, right? For decades, there have been Latino comedians who have made us laugh because they just connect to us on a cultural level. We laugh because they are speaking directly to our experience and we see our family in their stories. Now, more than ever, we need them to keep us laughing. Here are some fun stand-up routines to give you a little jajaja.

Cristela Alonzo

Dating is a nightmare on its own. Dating someone who isn’t Latino can bring a whole slew of moments you’d never expect. Alonzo lets the rest of the world in on the trials and tribulations of finding fun outings with you date someone who isn’t Latino. You’ll laugh because it’s true.

Aida Rodriguez

Rodriguez goes right for the elephant in the room: racism in the Latino community. The comedian, who is Dominican and Puerto Rican with a Cuban stepfather, truly represents the Caribbean. As someone who represents the Caribbean, she knows the strifes that exist within the Latino community. Tbh, she isn’t wrong.

Julio Torres

Torres is one comedian who really delivers something unique and out-of-the-box. His “My Favorite Shapes” routine is one of the most inventive and comical. The young man just can’t wait to show us his favorite shapes and how they are truly more than just some old shapes. If you don’t know Torres, you should.

Matteo Lane

For the LGBTQ+ Latinos, Lane is a breath of fresh air. The Italian-Mexican comedian mixes both of his identities into his stand-up routines. Being a gay Latino comes with its own unique sets of challenges and observations along with the typical Latino experience. Imagine being able to handle a religious and brutally honest family, which you love, as a gay child or grandchild of immigrants.

George Lopez

If you prefer something a little more old-school, Lopez is a solid choice. The man was one of the first major Latino comedians that reach that mainstream success. He kept it real to in his stand-up routines when it came to describing his Mexican family.

Anjelah Johnson

Johnson, of MADTv’s Bon Qui Qui fame, gives you moments to remember with her comedy. You probably still quote the nail salon jokes with your friends. It was one of those early viral videos that really imprinted on us.

READ: Here Are Some Latino Comedians To Brighten Up Your Instagram Feed With Some Good Jajas