comedy

Here Are The Inevitable Ups And Downs Of Dieting When You Just Love Food

Nothing is worse than having to force yourself not to eat your favorite foods when you are trying to salvage your waistline. But our culture is so deeply rooted to food that giving up food literally breaks your heart. Here are the stages of trying to give up ropa vieja for bland, basic chicken.

You start by trying to convince yourself that eating fruit will make you feel all clean and sh*t.

mitú

Yes. Go on and tell yourself you’re going to feel *this* good eating fruit.

But all you really want to do is cover your fruit with Tajín or any other high-sodium, flavor-packing super food.

Technically this does count as your serving of fruit, doesn’t it?

Like chile. Not being able to add your favorite chile to literally everything is killing you.

mitú

You can’t even call it food if it doesn’t have chile.

It isn’t long until you start bargaining with yourself that one little dessert won’t make a difference.

One cheat meal is supposed to help you stay focused.

But that one cookie starts a chain reaction and you realize you’ve fallen far off the health wagon.

mitú

Me: “Why do I always do this to myself?!”

You start experimenting with food to fill your stomach any way possible.

If you keep repeating to yourself that a banana will taste the same as a tostón, maybe it’ll actually happen.

But nothing causes you to lose it more than when you swap a sugary option for water.

Technically, the ice is water and water is good for you so why can’t Slurpees be part of your diet. ?

You start seeing the good in things like guava is good for you, right?

It comes from a fruit after all.

But you lose it at your little prima’s birthday party because you realize you can’t go to a family gathering and avoid food.

*writes several apology letters*

You reminisce about the times you would eat until your stomach was full and your heart was happy.

? If I could turn back time/If I could find a way… ?

So you say, “screw it, diets are for quitters” and you remember who you’ve always been.

mitú

A flawless, badass Latinx with a healthy appetite.


Like the GIFs? Check out GIF Keyboard by mitú available in the Apple Store by tapping here.

READ: And This Is Why Dieting Is Physically And Mentally Impossible For Us

Share this story with all of your friends by tapping that little share button below!

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

15 Hilarious Tweets About Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck Getting Back Together

Entertainment

15 Hilarious Tweets About Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck Getting Back Together

Getty Images/Twitter

In case you haven’t heard, Bennifer 1.0 is back. The famous early-2000s couple has been spotted spending time together in the wake of JLo’s split with A-Rod and Ben Affleck’s split with Cubana Ana de Armas. The news about their reconciliation is surprising the general public, as it’s been 17 years since the Hollywood power couple split up.

Needless to say, many fans have mixed feelings about Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck getting back together, seeing as their 2004 split up was so messy the first time around.

But more than anything, fans have jokes. Here are some of the funniest tweets about Jlo and Ben Affleck getting back together.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Nopales, The OG Ancestral Food We’ve Been Eating Since Waaaay Before Plant Based Foods Became Trendy

Culture

Nopales, The OG Ancestral Food We’ve Been Eating Since Waaaay Before Plant Based Foods Became Trendy

I can literally talk food until my babas drip. Don’t judge. The comelón life chose me and I’m not mad at it. Because growing up Latino meant breakfast wasn’t always cereal, and dinner wasn’t always mac and cheese. I grew up con más sabor en mis platillos than most Americans. And, at the time, I didn’t even realize that many of the foods my family was trying to get me to eat were ancestral foods. From chocolate to cocoa and chia to nopalitos, I blame los ancestros for my obsession with food and all the glorious ingredients that have been passed down for generations.

My knees already feel weak, fam, because today I’m gonna be talking nopalitos. Ya me estoy chupando los dedos, thinking back to how I grew up with these babies always in the refri in that Nopalitos jar, ready to be thrown into a sauce or encima de una carne asada. It turns out this soul-feeding food is one of the OG ancestral foods that have been used by our people for thousands of years. Ahí les va un poco de historia:

The Mexica introduced the world to the “fruit of the Earth.”

In Náhuatl, the word for nopal translates to “fruit of the Earth.” I don’t know what the Náhuatl word for “bomb-delicioso” is, but in my opinion, that should also be the name for nopales. And the Aztecs must have felt this way too because one of the most famous cities in the Aztec Empire – Tenochtitlán, the empire’s religious center – was named “prickly pear on a rock.” Iconic.

According to legend, the city was built after an Azteca priest spotted an eagle perched on a nopal plant, carrying a snake in its mouth. The priest, obviously extremadamente blown away by this, ran back to his village just so he could gather everyone to check out this crazy eagle with a snake in its mouth. As they watched, the cactus beneath the eagle grew into an island – eventually becoming Tenochtitlán. I’ll give you 3 seconds to just process that. 1…2…3. Please take more time if you need it. The image of the eagle carrying a snake, its golden talons perched on a nopal growing from a rock, can now be found on the Mexican flag.

Today, we know that the Mexica were right to call nopales the plant of life.

In Mexico, it’s still common to place a handful of nopal flowers in a bath to help relax achy muscles. And nopales are becoming more popular than ever in beauty treatments to help fight aging. But, y’all are too beautiful to be needing them for that, so let’s talk about what’s important — eating them.

There are so many ways you can mix this iconic ingredient into your meals.

We should all be eating our green foods. Your tía, your abuela, your primo, everyone…except your ex. Your ex can eat basura. I said what I said. But, nopalitos are especially important. These tenacious desert plants can be eaten raw, sautéed, pickled, grilled – they’re even used as pizza toppings. Though for some people, nopales – with their spines and texture – can be intimidating. After cutting off the spines and edges, and cutting them into slices, they will bleed a clear slime. But boiling for 20 minutes will take care of that. Or make it even easier on yourself and avoid espinas by buying them all ready-to-go from the brand we all know and love, DOÑA MARIA® Nopalitos.

Check it out, I’m even gonna hook it up with that good-good, because if you’re looking for ways to enjoy your nopales, I got’chu with some starter links to recipes: Hibiscus and Nopal Tacos, Nopal Tostadas, Roasted Nopales con Mole, and Lentil Soup con Nopales.  One of my personal favorite ways to eat them is in a beautiful Cactus Salad, full of color and flavor. Trust. I rate these dishes 10 out of 10, guaranteed to make your babas drip, and when you eat this ensalada de nopalitos, you will remember even your ancestors were dripping babas over this waaay before it was cool to eat plant-based foods.

So let’s give the poderoso nopal the spotlight it deserves by adding it to our shopping lists more often.

Rich in history, mythology, and practical uses, the nopal’s enduring popularity is a testament to its versatility. It’s time to give this classic ingredient the respect it deserves and recognize just how chingon our ancestors are for making nopales fire before plantbase foods were even trending.

Next time you’re at the supermercado, do your ancestors proud and add nopales to your shopping cart by picking up a jar of DOÑA MARIA® Nopalitos. This easy-to-use food will definitely give you a major boost of pride in your roots. Viva los nopalitos bay-beh!

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com