comedy

Here Are The Inevitable Ups And Downs Of Dieting When You Just Love Food

@sueettreats / @camEElaphile / Twitter / Netflix / One Day At A Time

Nothing is worse than having to force yourself not to eat your favorite foods when you are trying to salvage your waistline. But our culture is so deeply rooted to food that giving up food literally breaks your heart. Here are the stages of trying to give up ropa vieja for bland, basic chicken.

You start by trying to convince yourself that eating fruit will make you feel all clean and sh*t.

mitú
CREDIT: mitú

Yes. Go on and tell yourself you’re going to feel *this* good eating fruit.

But all you really want to do is cover your fruit with Tajín or any other high-sodium, flavor-packing super food.

mitú
CREDIT: mitú

Technically this does count as your serving of fruit, doesn’t it?

Like chile. Not being able to add your favorite chile to literally everything is killing you.

mitú
CREDIT: mitú

You can’t even call it food if it doesn’t have chile.

It isn’t long until you start bargaining with yourself that one little dessert won’t make a difference.

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CREDIT: mitú

One cheat meal is supposed to help you stay focused.

But that one cookie starts a chain reaction and you realize you’ve fallen far off the health wagon.

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CREDIT: mitú

Me: “Why do I always do this to myself?!”

You start experimenting with food to fill your stomach any way possible.

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CREDIT: mitú

If you keep repeating to yourself that a banana will taste the same as a tostón, maybe it’ll actually happen.

But nothing causes you to lose it more than when you swap a sugary option for water.

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CREDIT: mitú

Technically, the ice is water and water is good for you so why can’t Slurpees be part of your diet. ?

You start seeing the good in things like guava is good for you, right?

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CREDIT: mitú

It comes from a fruit after all.

But you lose it at your little prima’s birthday party because you realize you can’t go to a family gathering and avoid food.

mitú
CREDIT: mitú

*writes several apology letters*

You reminisce about the times you would eat until your stomach was full and your heart was happy.

mitú
CREDIT: mitú

? If I could turn back time/If I could find a way… ?

So you say, “screw it, diets are for quitters” and you remember who you’ve always been.

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CREDIT: mitú

A flawless, badass Latinx with a healthy appetite.


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READ: And This Is Why Dieting Is Physically And Mentally Impossible For Us

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This Mom Does The Voiceover For Her Daughter's Makeup Tutorial And It's Funny AF

comedy

This Mom Does The Voiceover For Her Daughter’s Makeup Tutorial And It’s Funny AF

Most YouTube makeup tutorials have a common style and format: visually pleasing step by step instructions, light tunes in the background and you hear the same commentary over and over about blending the highly pigmented colors you have on your face. BUT, what if you added one more little feature – your mom. Yes, your mom.

Makeup artist Lessly Toscano, decided to let her mom do the voiceover in her makeup tutorial video and we have one word to describe the results: hi-la-rious.

This mom’s hilarious, yet savage remarks begin right away as she does the introduction for her daughter’s makeup tutorial:

CREDIT: LESSLY TOSCANO / YOUTUBE

“Aquí vamos a empezar con un nuevo show de payasos…”

And the best part about these comments, is that she has zero filter. ?

CREDIT: LESSLY TOSCANO / YOUTUBE

LOL…this is actually true though.

She says everything with a LOT of emphasis. Say it with her: se-PO-rrrah.

CREDIT: LESSLY TOSCANO / YOUTUBE

Now every time I go shop at Sephora, I’m going to think of this.

And the connections she makes between the makeup and cooking ingredients is freakin’ hilarious.

CREDIT: LESSLY TOSCANO / YOUTUBE

It kind of is like flour when you think about it. And the more foundation and powder she puts on, the more she references flour.

And of course, like any Latina mom, she uses this makeup tutorial as a chance to remind her daughter about her house chores.

CREDIT: LESSLY TOSCANO/ YOUTUBE

“Buena para mover la brocha, si así fuera para mover la escoba.”

This sounds like something my mom would say.

And as the makeup tutorial progresses, the jokes she makes about her daughter’s makeup only get better and better.

CREDIT: LESSLY TOSCANO / YOUTUBE

This is the second time her mom says that she should host a clown show. ?

Her jokes are so good in fact, that she makes herself laugh out loud uncontrollably.

CREDIT: LESSLY TOSCANO / YOUTUBE

MONE-DOOSHHH.

She gets reeeeally creative about the shade she throws.

CREDIT: LESSLY TOSCANO / YOUTUBE

“Vamos a poner los eye-chadows color rosada. Y bien rosada ha de tener la cola esta niña.”

This joke is funnier in Spanish, as the word “rosada” has a double meaning: pink and rash.

And even though some of the jokes she makes are totally random, they are still funny AF.

CREDIT: LESSLY TOSCANO / YOUTUBE

This mom really has some clever jokes up her sleeve.

From beginning to end, this mom just can’t stop joking around about her daughter’s makeup.

CREDIT: LESSLY TOSCANO

She should really consider doing some standup comedy.

But despite all of the shade, this is just how Lessly and her mom get along:  they love to tease each other and joke around.

CREDIT: LESSLY TOSCANO

Lessly knows her mom supports her no matter what. ?

For the full video, check out the YouTube clip below!

You’ll definitely find some more funny content of Lessly and her mom.


READ: This Hustling Latina Has Everyone On The Internet Saying, “SLAYY”


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