comedy

Here Are The Inevitable Ups And Downs Of Dieting When You Just Love Food

Nothing is worse than having to force yourself not to eat your favorite foods when you are trying to salvage your waistline. But our culture is so deeply rooted to food that giving up food literally breaks your heart. Here are the stages of trying to give up ropa vieja for bland, basic chicken.

You start by trying to convince yourself that eating fruit will make you feel all clean and sh*t.

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Yes. Go on and tell yourself you’re going to feel *this* good eating fruit.

But all you really want to do is cover your fruit with Tajín or any other high-sodium, flavor-packing super food.

Technically this does count as your serving of fruit, doesn’t it?

Like chile. Not being able to add your favorite chile to literally everything is killing you.

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You can’t even call it food if it doesn’t have chile.

It isn’t long until you start bargaining with yourself that one little dessert won’t make a difference.

One cheat meal is supposed to help you stay focused.

But that one cookie starts a chain reaction and you realize you’ve fallen far off the health wagon.

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Me: “Why do I always do this to myself?!”

You start experimenting with food to fill your stomach any way possible.

If you keep repeating to yourself that a banana will taste the same as a tostón, maybe it’ll actually happen.

But nothing causes you to lose it more than when you swap a sugary option for water.

Technically, the ice is water and water is good for you so why can’t Slurpees be part of your diet. ?

You start seeing the good in things like guava is good for you, right?

It comes from a fruit after all.

But you lose it at your little prima’s birthday party because you realize you can’t go to a family gathering and avoid food.

*writes several apology letters*

You reminisce about the times you would eat until your stomach was full and your heart was happy.

? If I could turn back time/If I could find a way… ?

So you say, “screw it, diets are for quitters” and you remember who you’ve always been.

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A flawless, badass Latinx with a healthy appetite.


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READ: And This Is Why Dieting Is Physically And Mentally Impossible For Us

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