comedy

21 Extravagant Latino Wedding Cakes That Will Make You Go “QUE?!”

Of all the stereotypes that us Latinos are burdened with, perhaps there is one that is actually true and really a compliment: we know how to party! Latino weddings are perhaps the less ceremonious and most over the top. They generally last for at least 12 hours (if not two or three days) and often tradition is disregarded in favor of whatever will result in a fun fiesta. When you think about a cake for a Latino wedding you have to take into account that size matters: guests are likely hungry after jumping and dancing for hours.

Wedding cakes throughout Latin America and in Latino communities in countries like the United States go from the discreet to the extravagant! We have chosen examples on both ends of the spectrum. Latin America is a region that bursts with creativity and inventiveness and these culinary confections are testament to this. Of course the bride usually has the last word even if countless family members are likely to give their opinion.

1. If you are getting married, why not face the dragon of matrimony right from the start? Ay, nanita!

Credit: Instagram. @sugarshopmexico

Sugar Shop is a bakery in Mexico that just goes over the top and takes on the most thinking-outside-the-box challenges. This awesome cake takes on a medieval theme and gives a whole new meaning to slaying the dragon. There are plenty of Juego de tronos fans in good old Latam so this kind of cake is likely to be popular for a few years to come. We propose an Aztec dragon for next time!

2. Or give a little taste of the honeymoon destination? Par-ee!

Credit: Instagram. @sugarshopmexico

Oh la la! This kitschy cake looks part teenage cute and part new chic. The Eiffel Tower on top gives it an European twist that doesn’t quite get sophistication right. To be brutally honest, the black frosting does not look appetizing. Para nada!

3. Or just a Just Married car would do just fine, tengo o no tengo razón?

Credit: Instagram. @sugarshopmexico

We don’t know what is more uncanny…. eating a car or the fact that the groom is actually wearing a joker hat! You still have time to change your mind, runaway bride! Also, who is driving?

4. I mean look at this…

Credit: Instagram. @fridaenamorada

“Extravagance” lays on the eye of the beholder, and having a discreet wedding cake is oftentimes a bigger statement than mountains of merengue and adornos. The dry leaves give it a very “Mexican Revolution” and timeless feel.

5. Can you even spot the cake? Is that it hidden in the curtain?

Credit: Instagram. @myzali_new_macrame

Tons of Latino abues love macrame. But this cake is just hidden amongst this monstrosity of a curtain. Very kitschy but it can surely remind us of some horribly decorated salas de estar from our childhood.

6. What kind if fresh hell is this?

Credit: 2. Digital image. Vita Alegria.

An infamous example of Latino machismo. No comments other than “do not attempt at home”. Whoever this couple is, we just hope their married life isn’t this miserable.

7. Arre, arre, una boda for horse lovers, mijo. Una boda muy ranchera.

Credit: Instagram. @panqueevents

No caption needed. This couple took their equine obsession a bit too far. We are sure that the banda music was at full blast all night.

8. This Mexican pastel de bodas is just too pretty to eat

Credit: Instagram. @lavieenrosexalapa

This looks like one of those hand knitted manteles that abuelitas love to make. Not too delicate, but cute and certainly a trip back Latino memory lane! We love the multicolored marigolds too.

9. Is this cake or a garden full of florecitas?

Credit: Instagram. @lavieenrosexalapa

A little flower is OK, but this bakery in Mexico took it a bit too far… are you sure those are edible?

10. Or what about this cake with hearts that seem to be actually bleeding! Que alguien los ayude!

Credit: Instagram. @panqueevents

A good idea gone slightly wrong. We know that us Latinos are passionate…. but you don’t want your invitados to actually feel like they are drinking your loving hearts’ pouring blood!

11. El tamaño sí importa (size does matter)

Credit: Instagram. @Velvetcakes

Wow. This cake just keeps going and going and going…. Latino bride and grooms, and particularly los papás de la novia, like to show off, so this cake is a perfect way to make guests feel gossipy and jealous.

12. Día de bodas or Día de Muertos?

Credit: tetrico-diseno-de-pastel-de-boda. Digital image. Ella Hoy.

Strangely cute… a Day of the Death confection that takes the wedding vows a bit too far. Would you like some rotten teeth with your pastelito? The bloody base also makes it look a little bit Twilight.

13. Taco… miendo pastel de bodas

Credit: torta-taco-nina. Digital image. Sweet Mafer.

This actually makes us laugh a bit! Why not combine the most famous Mexican dish with a colorful cake? We just hope that the actual cake is actually al pastor flavor! What we do hope is that the couple offered some taquitos in the early hours of the morning, or perhaps some delicious chilaquiles.

14. Let us recover with this Mexi-beauty

Credit: 137597. Digital image. 100 Layer Cake.

After the horrible display of twisted gender politics in the last example, what about this gorgeous cake for a simple, small marital gathering? The papaya halves give this arrangement a fresh and very very Latino look. That mantelito is also colorful and true to Mexican tradition.

15. This transnational failed topper attempt

Credit: Hispanic-Wedding-Cake-Topper-718031. Digital image. Wedding Cake Toppers.

The bride is clearly from Brazil and the groom is Mexican. We are all for inclusivity and representation of us people of color, but the bride and groom look like they came out of Bizarro Sesame Street. And we are sure that if the groom is truly loosing his hair h wouldn’t want to brag about it!

16. Let them eat cupcakes, compadres y comadres!

Credit: 210105_festive-latin-american-wedding. Digital image. Wedding Chicks.

A great idea for a Latino wedding. Guests will be dancing and drinking and you don’t want to deal with a cakey mess: just give them colorful cupcakes and let them enjoy their desert while dancing to Celia Cruz or Juanga. It will also be easier to send the guests off with come desert pa curar la cruda.

17. Orgullo Yankee, parce!

Credit: il_680x540.898325599_lte4. Digital image. iWeddingToppers

Latinos in the United States tend to be avid baseball fans, and this topper for a couple of Dominican Yankee fans speaks to shared sports fandom for a Hispanic couple. Could be substituted with soccer teams for all those rabid hinchas.

18.Hasta que la muerte nos separe (till death due us part)

Credit: 100_1003. Digital image. Suenos Latin American Imports

Romantic and a bit creepy at the same time. What a wedding cake topper in Coco would look like. We are sure, however, that some gringos would find it confronting. Why would skeletons get married? Duh.

19. Some others are delicate but luscious

Credit: Instagram. @fridaenamorada

Mexican blog Frida Enamorada showcased this delicious fig and grape cake… it has an slightly gothic look for those more alternative novias. Not every bride wants to be all Frozen, so this is a cute and timeless piece.

21. This cake makes us wonder if it is kitschy art or desert!

Credit: Instagram. @las_dos_d5.

The edible topper looks like the horrible sculptures that some comadres make in their spare time. Latin American kitsch at its best worst. It looks like the horrible art that bored tías sometimes make. The rose petals are supposed to be classy but enter tacky territory.

21 Funny And Annoying Things People Visiting Latin America Keep Doing

comedy

21 Funny And Annoying Things People Visiting Latin America Keep Doing

¡Three Amigos! / L.A. Films

Travelling is one of the most eye-opening and wonderful experience. Getting to know other cultures makes us less self-centered and empathetic. Of course, you have to be open for this. Traveling in today’s globalized world also produces funny and annoying situations when cultures clash. These are some of the most common when people from the U.S. and white Europeans visit Latin America. The West and Latin America have a long and often adversarial relationship so you gotta be extra sensible when visiting, comprende?

1. Saying “no problemo”

Credit: no-problemo. Digital image. Meme generator

Repeat after me: “No hay problema.” The dreadful “no problemo” doesn’t make any sense. You are welcome, no hay problema.

2. Asking if people put lime on Corona to disinfect the bottle

Credit: 447134 . Digital image. From the Bar

Believe it or not, some people have been known to ask this question. Lime just gives the summery beer some freshness, because let’s be honest: it is kinda bland.

3. Wearing Frida Kahlo paraphernalia

Credit: 1798927_1. Digital image. Tee public

We get it, you are on a Latin American trip. You don’t have to be too obvious to show your love for the region. Plus, Kahlo was a devout Communist and she would have hated to have her face plastered everywhere.

4. And Che Guevara t-shirts

Credit: 1020-2-Che-Guevara-short-sleeve-T-shirt_1024x1024. Digital image. The Che Store

Did you know the United States allegedly orchestrated his death? Che is a pop culture icon for many, but for others, it is the materialization of violent political ideals.

5. Pretending as they can really take chili heat

Credit: Mirror-reporter-Chris-Bucktin-feels-the-heat. Digital image. Mirror

When waiters warn people that the food is really spicy, they often wave their hands and take a brave bite. They disguise their pain but they are not fooling anyone. Really hot chili can ruin your palate, so refrain from it!

6. And then telling war stories of how everything that comes in has to come out

Credit: pjks8745-1407298850. Digital image. The Conversation

People can get a bit too scatological when they narrate their trips. They describe burning butts and fiery poos in excruciating detail. No one cares, really. It gets worse if the culprit is a frat boy coming back from Spring Break.

7. Saying “mi casa es su casa”

Credit: 4279R__98763.1520315713. Digital image. Hand-N-Hand Designs.

Stop it! It just sounds fake and almost no one says it. Yes, Latin Americans are very generous and hospitable people, but this is not really our region’s slogan.

8. Pontificating on how good the U.S. is to the world

Credit: 1118953991. Digital image. Wiley

World history is complicated and many Latin Americans have a complicated relationship with the U.S. and with colonial European countries. Don’t discuss politics unless you are willing to engage in serious political discussions about the U.S. or European interventionism in the region. Be prepared to leave your black and white worldview behind.

9. Using patches with the Canada flag on them to camouflage their identity

Credit: img_6938 Expat Lingo. Digital image. Expat Lingo.

Be proud of who you are. Latin Americans appreciate honesty and pretending to be from Toronto if you are from Wichita won’t really get you anywhere. You will find out that most people will be super welcoming.

10. Booking tours to get to know “the real Latin America”

Credit: hqdefault. Digital image. YouTube

Dark tourism to places like the Brazilian favelas is just wrong: people are struggling, they are not zoo animals. Learn to respectfully appreciate cultural differences and try to understand other people’s struggles.

11. Trying to bring down the price when buying from indigenous craftspeople

Credit: IMG_3837. Digital image. Home Security Press

Indigenous merchants barely make ends meet. If an old lady is selling you a bracelet for 50 pesos give her the 50 pesos and don’t try to bring the price down. It is unjust and insulting. Just ask yourself what your minimum acceptable wage per hour would be and think that this person probably spent hours making their product. See the point?

12. Being “funny” by quoting The Three Amigos

Credit: the-three-amigos. Digital image.  Just Watch

Yes, the classic Steve Martin movie is funny, but we don’t appreciate being laughed at… and not all Latin Americans are Mexican.

13. Calling the United States “America”

Credit: CRhWYvoUAAAWkDN. Digital image. Twitter

Let us get this straight: America is a continent that stretches from Canada to Argentina. The United States is a country. Two very different things. We are all Americans.

14. Fearing Montezuma and his revenge

Credit: blog-0739102001530238746. Digital image. AtariAge

If you think you are going to get sick with everything you eat and run to the first fast food restaurant you see (McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, etc… yes, we do have them in Latin America), you will miss out on a fundamental aspect of traveling: eating. Food is culture, chaparritos.

15. Try to pick up Latinas with silly or gross pickup lines

Credit: man-hitting-on-woman. Digital image. Slosh Spot.

Thinking that gorgeous women are gonna fall at your feet just because you are a foreigner is a big mistake and a big misconception. Plus, it perpetuates colonial attitudes that Latinas are just sick and tired of. Woo them like a gentleman.

16. Asking for burritos anywhere South of the Border. Get a taco or an arepa or something authentic for a change.

Credit: taco-vs-burrito-620×350. Digital image. Versus Battles.

Burritos are really a Tex-Mex thing and are only consumed in some regions of Northern Mexico. If you go to Argentina and order one they will probably laugh at you… or worse (Argentinians do take their food quite seriously).

17. Wear ponchos and sombreros… dude, just don’t

Credit: Facebook-LMAO-d24ea9. Digital image. Funny.

Do not dress up as other cultures. It is in bad taste and it is insulting.

18. Describe Latin American poverty as “exotic” and “interesting”

Credit: 1_rtUPkEUuf8GQXaNs7VLnqw. Digital image. Medium.

If you come back from your Latin American adventures with a renewed sense of responsibility and care for humankind that’s awesome. But if you come back thinking that poverty is “interesting”… then shame on you. Be respectful and don’t just shove your camera on people’s faces.

19. Buy cheap “authentic” souvenirs Made in China

Credit: ArtesaniasXcaret. Digital image. Blog Xcaret.

All the moms and aunties want some memento from an exotic Latin American trip right? So people tend to buy ugly reproductions of Inca and Aztec idols that are made from plastic in China. Do the research and find the authentic souvenirs that help the people.

20. Asking about the drug cartels everywhere they go

Credit: Narcos: Mexico. Netflix.

Wouldn’t you be tired if people asked about your country had to do with traumatic experiences and death? Yes, the cartels exist and are a problem, but Latin America is so much more than its violence.

21. Saying they like real Latino music and bring up Ricky Martin

Credit: e9ffffebc6afc97c68f1ab8b3a0716627a44c97547adc7bc67e4074dd1a2cd8a. Digital image. QuickMeme.

Nothing against our dear Ricky, but Latin American music is far more than that and reducing it to pop phenomenon of two decades ago is not that nice. Try listening to some Rubén Blades, güeritos. Or some Celso Piña.