comedy

We Relabeled These Common Household Products So They Are More Honest Than Their Original Label

There are just some brands from childhood (and adulthood) that have a totally different meaning in our heads than what’s on the label. So we decided to keep it real and replace the labels with a new logo that shows consumers what the product is *really* for. There is always a recommended use and a real use for every product and Latinos will always find the real way to use a product.

Take a trip down memory lane with me…

Vicks VapoRub

Vicks.com

We all know VapoRub, but we probably don’t know what it’s actually meant for. Turns out, it’s meant to be used as a cough suppressant by rubbing that pungent, yet comforting gel on your chest.

What it’s actually does…

CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

My abuelo rubbed this on his wrists every few hours. For his arthritis or as cologne, we never found out. Rub daily to mend broken hearts, the flu, or to get rid of cellulite!

Patrón

Walmart.com

Even as a poor college student, I always found the money for Patrón bottles for every occasion. Patrón, bottles–that’s all I remember from college if I’m being honest. #SorryPapa

What it’s actually does…

CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

It kills you. Or, if you’re a new parent, a little helps put your baby to bed and gives you life. (Mitú does not condone giving children alcohol even if our parents did.) #ThanksPapa

Sprite

Coca-ColaCompany.com

Looks like soda, right? Sprite is so basic that it’s basically just lemon water, so it’s healthy right? It’s got to be.

What it’s actually does…

CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

Yup! Sprite cures hangovers, tummy aches, and is essentially a tonic. I’m just waiting for a Sprite cleanse trend to happen over here.

Mazapán

Walmart.com

I’m drooling. Mazapán is the ultimate comfort food as far as dulces go, imo. Fun fact, mazapán was brought to Latin America from Spain, where they use almonds instead of peanuts.

What it’s actually does…

CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they eat mazapán, verdad.  Spot a perfectionist crying from a mile away, because there is no neat way to eat these guys.

Café Bustelo

Walmart.com

Seems innocent looking enough right? Café Bustelo, how your packaging deceives us all.

What it’s actually does…

CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

Do not play with this. Like a well-oiled machine, my nana would wake up groggy, spoon these out in fugly pink plastic mugs and distribute the fuel to the fam. Bustelo, you give us life.

Soda Crackers

Walmart.com

A true staple in every Latinx household. As kids, we used to dip these in café con leche like it was gold.

What it’s actually does…

CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

Growing up has made me so much wiser. Nana was just trying to shove these crackers onto her grandkids so she could have more tupperware, or ‘tupper‘ as my Spanish host mom would say.

Royal Dansk Butter Cookies

Walmart.com

I have more memories of seeing this box than I do of actually eating those delicious, buttery cookies. The pretzel shaped ones always went first.

What it’s actually does…

CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

Spoiler alert: it’s buttons. It’s always buttons in there. Every d*mn time I plotted a midnight snack run when I was a kid, there were never any cookies in these, so I stopped looking.

Instant Ramen

Walmart.com

Being a grown up will be great, they said. You can eat whatever you want, they said. Somehow, I keep coming back to this cheap stuff.

What it’s actually does…

CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

I never wanted this, cuz. Take me back to mountains of bacalao y tostones. “Chicken” my a**.

Goya Adobo Seasoning

Walmart.com

Goya is my brand. Everything tastes better with it and I promise this is not a product placement. I speak on behalf of all Puerto Ricans that Goya is the shit.

What it actually does…

CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

To be honest, I never tasted a difference between ‘Adobo’ flavors at restaurants and the flavor of fcking everything at home. ‘Adobo’ es lo misma de ‘pa todo’ en mi casa.

Fabuloso

Walmart.com

For some reason, I just can’t with the smell of Fabuloso. The only time it appears in my house is when the titis come to visit and keep me fully stocked till their next visit.

What it actually does…

CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

Maybe that smell rubs me the wrong way because it’s the smell of my mom about to wake me tf up on Saturday mornings to force me to ‘help’ mop the floors. I’m still recovering my Saturday mornings.

Cheetos

Walmart.com

Burn my insides, Cheeto cheetah, take me. You’re the only Cheeto I would ever vote for as president. You hurt so good but we know what to expect.

What it actually does…

CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

I accept this trade off, tho. When I see someone with red fingers, I’m just like, we should stick together because I want in on your stash of cheetos crack.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Exclusive: Luis Fonsi Talks Working with Rauw Alejandro, Christina Aguilera, and Demi Lovato

Entertainment

Exclusive: Luis Fonsi Talks Working with Rauw Alejandro, Christina Aguilera, and Demi Lovato

Luis Fonsi is kicking off 2021 with a new single. The Puerto Rican superstar premiered the music video for “Vacío” on Feb. 18 featuring rising Boricua singer Rauw Alejandro. The guys put a new spin on the classic “A Puro Dolor” by Son By Four.

Luis Fonsi throws it back to his románticas.

“I called Omar Alfanno, the writer of ‘A Puro Dolo,’ who is a dear friend,” Fonsi tells Latido Music. “I told him what my idea was [with ‘Vacío’] and he loved it. He gave me his blessing, so I wrote a new song around a few of those lines from ‘A Puro Dolor’ to bring back that nostalgia of those old romantic tunes that have been a part of my career as well. It’s a fresh production. It sounds like today, but it has that DNA of a true, old-school ballad.”

The world got to know Fonsi through his global smash hit “Despacito” with Daddy Yankee in 2017. The remix with Canadian pop star Justin Bieber took the song to new heights. That was a big moment in Fonsi’s music career that spans over 20 years.

There’s more to Fonsi than “Despacito.”

Fonsi released his first album, the fittingly-titled Comenzaré, in 1998. While he was on the come-up, he got the opportunity of a lifetime to feature on Christina Aguilera’s debut Latin album Mi Reflejo in 2000. The two collaborated on “Si No Te Hubiera Conocido.” Fonsi scored multiple Billboard Hot Latin Songs No. 1s in the years that followed and one of the biggest hits was “No Me Doy Por Vencido” in 2008. That was his career-defining romantic ballad.

“Despacito” remains the second most-viewed music video on YouTube with over 7.2 billion views. The hits did not stop there. Later in 2017, he teamed up with Demi Lovato for “Échame La Culpa,” which sits impressively with over 2 billion views.

He’s also appearing on The Voice next month.

Not only is Fonsi working on his new album, but also he’s giving advice to music hopefuls for the new season of The Voice that’s premiering on March 1. Kelly Clarkson tapped him as her Battle Advisor. In an exclusive interview, Fonsi talked with us about “Vacío,” The Voice, and a few of his greatest hits.

What was the experience like to work with Rauw Alejandro for “Vacío”?

Rauw is cool. He’s got that fresh sound. Great artist. Very talented. Amazing onstage. He’s got that great tone and delivery. I thought he had the perfect voice to fit with my voice in this song. We had talked about working together for awhile and I thought that this was the perfect song. He really is such a star. What he’s done in the last couple of years has been amazing. I love what he brought to the table on this song.

Now I want to go through some of your greatest hits. Do you remember working with Christina Aguilera for her Spanish album?

How could you not remember working with her? She’s amazing. That was awhile back. That was like 1999 or something like that. We were both starting out and she was putting out her first Spanish album. I got to sing a beautiful ballad called “Si No Te Hubiera Conocido.” I got to work with her in the studio and see her sing in front of the mic, which was awesome. She’s great. One of the best voices out there still to this day.

What’s one of your favorite memories of “No Me Doy Por Vencido”?

“No Me Doy Por Vencido” is one of the biggest songs in my career. I think it’s tough to narrow it down just to one memory. I think in general the message of the song is what sticks with me. The song started out as a love song, but it turned into an anthem of hope. We’ve used the song for different important events and campaigns. To me, that song has such a powerful message. It’s bigger than just a love song. It’s bringing hope to people. It’s about not giving up. To be able to kind of give [people] hope through a song is a lot more powerful than I would’ve ever imagined. It’s a very special song.

I feel the message is very relevant to the COVID-19 pandemic we’re living through.

Oh yeah! I wrote that song a long time ago with Claudia Brant, and during the first or second month of the lockdown when we were all stuck at home, we did a virtual writing session and we rewrote “No Me Doy Por Vencido.” Changing the lyrics, kind of adjusting them to this situation that we’re living now. I haven’t recorded it. I’ll do something with it eventually. It’s really cool. It still talks about love. It talks about reuniting. Like the light at the end of the tunnel. It has the hope and love backbone, but it has to do a lot with what we’re going through now.

What do you think of the impact “Despacito” made on the industry?

It’s a blessing to be a part of something so big. Again, it’s just another song. We write these songs and the moment you write them, you don’t really know what’s going to happen with them. Or sometimes you run into these surprises like “Despacito” where it becomes a global phenomenon. It goes No. 1 in places where Spanish songs had never been played. I’m proud. I’m blessed. I’m grateful to have worked with amazing people like Daddy Yankee. Like Justin Bieber for the remix and everyone else involved in the song. My co-writer Erika Ender. The producers Mauricio Rengifo and Andrés Torres. It was really a team effort and it’s a song that obviously changed my career forever.

What was the experience like to work with Demi Lovato on “Echáme La Culpa”?

She’s awesome! One of the coolest recording sessions I’ve ever been a part of. She really wanted to sing in Spanish and she was so excited. We did the song in Spanish and English, but it was like she was more excited about the Spanish version. And she nailed it! She nailed it from the beginning. There was really not much for me to say to her. I probably corrected her once or twice in the pronunciation, but she came prepared and she brought it. She’s an amazing, amazing, amazing vocalist.

You’re going to be a battle advisor on The Voice. What was the experience like to work with Kelly Clarkson?

She’s awesome. What you see is what you get. She’s honest. She’s funny. She’s talented. She’s humble and she’s been very supportive of my career. She invited me to her show and it speaks a lot that she wanted me to be a part of her team as a Battle Advisor for the new season. She supports Latin music and I’m grateful for that. She’s everything you hope she would be. She’s the real deal, a true star, and just one of the coolest people on this planet.

What can we expect from you in 2021?

A lot of new music. Obviously, everything starts today with “Vacío.” This is literally the beginning of what this new album will be. I’ve done nothing but write and record during the last 10 months, so I have a bunch of songs. Great collaborations coming up. I really think the album will be out probably [in the] third or fourth quarter this year. The songs are there and I’m really eager for everybody to hear them.

Read: We Finally Have A Spanish-Language Song As The Most Streamed Song Of All Time

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Lifestyles Of The Rich And Dangerous: Cartels Are Using TikTok To Lure Young People

Things That Matter

Lifestyles Of The Rich And Dangerous: Cartels Are Using TikTok To Lure Young People

If you’ve ever wondered what someone with a bulletproof vest and an AR-15 would look like flossing — the dance, not the method of dental hygiene — apparently the answer to that question can be found on TikTok.

Unfortunately, it’s not as a part of some absurdist sketch comedy or surreal video art installation. Instead, it’s part of a growing trend of drug cartels in Mexico using TikTok as a marketing tool. Nevermind the fact that Mexico broke grim records last year for the number of homicides and cartel violence, the cartels have found an audience on TikTok and that’s a serious cause for concern.

Mexican cartels are using TikTok to gain power and new recruits.

Just a couple of months ago, a TikTok video showing a legit high-speed chase between police and drug traffickers went viral. Although it looked like a scene from Netflix’s Narcos series, this was a very real chase in the drug cartel wars and it was viewed by more than a million people.

Typing #CartelTikTok in the social media search bar brings up thousands of videos, most of them from people promoting a “cartel culture” – videos with narcocorridos, and presumed members bragging about money, fancy cars and a luxury lifestyle.

Viewers no longer see bodies hanging from bridges, disembodied heads on display, or highly produced videos with messages to their enemies. At least not on TikTok. The platform is being used mainly to promote a lifestyle and to generate a picture of luxury and glamour, to show the ‘benefits’ of joining the criminal activities.

According to security officials, the promotion of these videos is to entice young men who might be interested in joining the cartel with images of endless cash, parties, military-grade weapons and exotic pets like tiger cubs.

Cartels have long used social media to shock and intimidate their enemies.

And using social media to promote themselves has long been an effective strategy. But with Mexico yet again shattering murder records, experts on organized crime say Cartel TikTok is just the latest propaganda campaign designed to mask the blood bath and use the promise of infinite wealth to attract expendable young recruits.

“It’s narco-marketing,” said Alejandra León Olvera, an anthropologist at Spain’s University of Murcia, in a statement to the New York Times. The cartels “use these kinds of platforms for publicity, but of course it’s hedonistic publicity.”

Mexico used to be ground zero for this kind of activity, where researchers created a new discipline out of studying these narco posts. Now, gangs in Brazil, Colombia, El Salvador, and the United States are also involved.

A search of the #CartelTikTok community and its related accounts shows people are responding. Public comments from users such as “Y’all hiring?” “Yall let gringos join?” “I need an application,” or “can I be a mule? My kids need Christmas presents,” are on some of the videos.

One of the accounts related to this cartel community publicly answered: “Of course, hay trabajo para todos,” “I’ll send the application ASAP.” “How much is the pound in your city?” “Follow me on Instagram to talk.” The post, showing two men with $100 bills and alcohol, had more than a hundred comments.

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