comedy

We Relabeled These Common Household Products So They Are More Honest Than Their Original Label

There are just some brands from childhood (and adulthood) that have a totally different meaning in our heads than what’s on the label. So we decided to keep it real and replace the labels with a new logo that shows consumers what the product is *really* for. There is always a recommended use and a real use for every product and Latinos will always find the real way to use a product.

Take a trip down memory lane with me…

Vicks VapoRub

CREDIT: Vicks.com

We all know VapoRub, but we probably don’t know what it’s actually meant for. Turns out, it’s meant to be used as a cough suppressant by rubbing that pungent, yet comforting gel on your chest.

What it’s actually does…

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

My abuelo rubbed this on his wrists every few hours. For his arthritis or as cologne, we never found out. Rub daily to mend broken hearts, the flu, or to get rid of cellulite!

Patrón

CREDIT: Walmart.com

Even as a poor college student, I always found the money for Patrón bottles for every occasion. Patrón, bottles–that’s all I remember from college if I’m being honest. #SorryPapa

What it’s actually does…

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

It kills you. Or, if you’re a new parent, a little helps put your baby to bed and gives you life. (Mitú does not condone giving children alcohol even if our parents did.) #ThanksPapa

Sprite

CREDIT: Coca-ColaCompany.com

Looks like soda, right? Sprite is so basic that it’s basically just lemon water, so it’s healthy right? It’s got to be.

What it’s actually does…

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

Yup! Sprite cures hangovers, tummy aches, and is essentially a tonic. I’m just waiting for a Sprite cleanse trend to happen over here.

Mazapán

CREDIT: Walmart.com

I’m drooling. Mazapán is the ultimate comfort food as far as dulces go, imo. Fun fact, mazapán was brought to Latin America from Spain, where they use almonds instead of peanuts.

What it’s actually does…

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they eat mazapán, verdad.  Spot a perfectionist crying from a mile away, because there is no neat way to eat these guys.

Café Bustelo

CREDIT: Walmart.com

Seems innocent looking enough right? Café Bustelo, how your packaging deceives us all.

What it’s actually does…

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

Do not play with this. Like a well-oiled machine, my nana would wake up groggy, spoon these out in fugly pink plastic mugs and distribute the fuel to the fam. Bustelo, you give us life.

Soda Crackers

CREDIT: Walmart.com

A true staple in every Latinx household. As kids, we used to dip these in café con leche like it was gold.

What it’s actually does…

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

Growing up has made me so much wiser. Nana was just trying to shove these crackers onto her grandkids so she could have more tupperware, or ‘tupper‘ as my Spanish host mom would say.

Royal Dansk Butter Cookies

CREDIT: Walmart.com

I have more memories of seeing this box than I do of actually eating those delicious, buttery cookies. The pretzel shaped ones always went first.

What it’s actually does…

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

Spoiler alert: it’s buttons. It’s always buttons in there. Every d*mn time I plotted a midnight snack run when I was a kid, there were never any cookies in these, so I stopped looking.

Instant Ramen

CREDIT: Walmart.com

Being a grown up will be great, they said. You can eat whatever you want, they said. Somehow, I keep coming back to this cheap stuff.

What it’s actually does…

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

I never wanted this, cuz. Take me back to mountains of bacalao y tostones. “Chicken” my a**.

Goya Adobo Seasoning

CREDIT: Walmart.com

Goya is my brand. Everything tastes better with it and I promise this is not a product placement. I speak on behalf of all Puerto Ricans that Goya is the shit.

What it actually does…

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

To be honest, I never tasted a difference between ‘Adobo’ flavors at restaurants and the flavor of fcking everything at home. ‘Adobo’ es lo misma de ‘pa todo’ en mi casa.

Fabuloso

CREDIT: Walmart.com

For some reason, I just can’t with the smell of Fabuloso. The only time it appears in my house is when the titis come to visit and keep me fully stocked till their next visit.

What it actually does…

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

Maybe that smell rubs me the wrong way because it’s the smell of my mom about to wake me tf up on Saturday mornings to force me to ‘help’ mop the floors. I’m still recovering my Saturday mornings.

Cheetos

CREDIT: Walmart.com

Burn my insides, Cheeto cheetah, take me. You’re the only Cheeto I would ever vote for as president. You hurt so good but we know what to expect.

What it actually does…

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON / WE ARE MITÚ

I accept this trade off, tho. When I see someone with red fingers, I’m just like, we should stick together because I want in on your stash of cheetos crack.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Radical Feminists Have Seized Control of a Federal Building in Mexico in Protest of the Government’s Apathy Towards Rampant Femicide

Entertainment

Radical Feminists Have Seized Control of a Federal Building in Mexico in Protest of the Government’s Apathy Towards Rampant Femicide

Last week, Mexican feminist activists took over the National Human Rights Commissions federal building in a move to bring greater awareness to the scourge of gender-based violence and femicide that has racked Mexico for decades.

According to the federal Interior Secretariat, the statistics in Mexico have recently taken a turn for the worse.

Domestic violence against women has became an even more acute problem since the pandemic has forced women to stay insider with their abusers. Emergency distress calls reporting domestic violence have risen by 50%.

The occupation of the Human Rights building is just another chapter in the saga of the “Ni Una Menos” (Not One More Woman) movement, an anti-femicide collective born in Argentina that has steadily been gaining steam in Mexico since 2019.

In recent years, anti-femicide demonstrations have been sparked by various heinous crimes against women or girls that have been largely overlooked by law enforcement officials. 

Photo by Marcos Brindicci/Getty Images

Unfortunately, the government of Mexico has appeared to be apathetic to the wave of femicide that is overwhelming the women of their country.

Recently, when President Andrés Manuel López Obrador was asked to address Mexico’s gender violence epidemic, he demurred, stating that he didn’t “want femicide to detract” from the raffle his administration was holding for the sale of the presidential airplane.

As for the feminist activists at the heart of Ni Una Menos and the federal building occupation, the government’s failure to respond to anti-woman violence is the primary fuel for their anger. 

“We’re here so that the whole world will know that in Mexico they kill women and nobody does anything about it,” said Yesenia Zamudio to the LA Times. According to Zamudio, she is still seeking justice for the murder of her 19-year-old daughter four years ago.

The women of Mexico appear to be fed up, grasping at any and all tactics that have the potential to incite change on a grander scale.

Their tactics may seem dramatic to some, but it’s undeniable that they are no longer being ignored. As of now, the radical activists are pulling attention-grabbing stunts like decorating a portrait of Mexican Revolution leader Francisco Madero with lipstick and purple hair.

They’re also making headlines for vandalizing the federal building’s walls and splashing paint on the doors of the presidential palace.

One thing is for sure: something has to change. Otherwise, thousands of innocent women and girls will continue to be raped, abused, and murdered while their perpetrators escape with immunity. 

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Joe Biden Speaks Alongside ‘Fearless Fighter’ Kamala Harris In First Appearance And Recalls Her Family’s Immigrant Story

Fierce

Joe Biden Speaks Alongside ‘Fearless Fighter’ Kamala Harris In First Appearance And Recalls Her Family’s Immigrant Story

Chip Somodevilla / Gettycc

After weeks of speculation and anticipation, presidential candidate Joe Biden announced on Tuesday that he has officially picked his running mate.

In a history-making announcement, Biden revealed that he had tapped California Sen. Kamala Harris to be his VP Pick.

“I have the great honor to announce that I’ve picked @KamalaHarris — a fearless fighter for the little guy, and one of the country’s finest public servants — as my running mate,” Biden announced in a tweet.

On Wednesday, Biden held his first campaign event alongside running mate Kamala Harris in Delaware.

During their speeches, the two candidates wore masks and kept their distance in keeping with COVID-19 standards.

Speaking about his VP pick, Biden described Harris as coming from an “America’s story.” Biden described Harris as “a child of immigrants” who “knows personally how immigrant families enrich our country as well as the challenges of what it means to grow up Black and Indian-American in the United States of America,” he explained. “And this morning, all across the nation, little girls woke up, especially little Black and brown girls that feel overlooked and undervalued in their communities, but today — today just maybe they’re seeing themselves for the first time in a new way as president and vice presidents.”

In a speech of her own, Harris emphasized the importance of family and urged citizens to vote.  “We need a mandate that proves that the past few years do not represent who we are or who we aspire to be,” she said. “Joe likes to say that character is on the ballot. And it’s true,” she explained. “I’ve had a lot of titles over my career and certainly vice president will be great. But ‘Momala’ will always be the one that means the most.”

Harris’s nomination makes her the first Black and first Indian-American woman on either major party’s presidential ticket.

Harris is a former prosecutor from California who challenged Biden in her own presidential bid last year. Her nomination makes her the fourth woman to appear on a major presidential ballot. Before her, Geraldine Ferraro ran as a Democratic vice presidential nominee in 1984. In 2008, Republican Sarah Palin ran as a vice presidential nominee, later in 2016, Hillary Clinton became the Democratic presidential nominee.

Biden’s choice was one that has long been in the works. In March of this year, he revealed that he would make a point to have a woman as his running mate and in July he announced that he had narrowed his picks down to four Black women.

Kamala Harris was elected to Congress in 2016.

This has been Harris’ first term as a senator. Before, she served as the California attorney general. During her time as AG, Harris formed a lasting friendship with Biden’s late son Beau who was attorney general at the time in Delaware. Writing about Beau’s death, in her memoir The Truths We Hold, Harris recalled that “there were periods when I was taking the heat when Beau and I talked every day, sometimes multiple times a day,” she wrote in her memoir. “We had each other’s backs.”

Biden’s son Beau died in 2015 from brain cancer. Harris attended his funeral.

During his announcement, Biden mentioned Harris’ friendship with his son.

“I watched as they took on the big banks, lifted up working people, and protected women and kids from abuse,” Biden tweeted. “I was proud then, and I’m proud now to have her as my partner in this campaign.”

So far, it seems there are quite a bit of Harris x Biden supporters.

Fans were quick to give their support and applaud her candidacy.

In a tweet acknowledging her nomination, Harris wrote “@JoeBiden can unify the American people because he’s spent his life fighting for us. And as president, he’ll build an America that lives up to our ideals. I’m honored to join him as our party’s nominee for Vice President, and do what it takes to make him our Commander-in-Chief.”

Here’s to 2020 y’all. Get ready to make history.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com