bad hombres

What If Your Girlfriend’s Bedroom Habits Are Slowly Killing You?

Movieclips / YouTube / Daniel Horacio Agostini / Flickr

“Let’s move in together…” she said, “it’ll be fun!” she said… But, it’s not. Since she moved in, you’ve been up all night, every night — and not for any of the good reasons, like sex or because it’s Christmas eve. The National Sleep Foundation says you need around 7-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep. She’s killing you slowly with sleep deprivation torture.

You’re trying to sleep, but your girl’s checking her phone with the brightness set to “The Ark of the Covenant“…

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark / Lucasfilm

We all know that staring at your smartphone before bed makes it harder to sleep. Something about over-stimulating your brain or frying your eyeballs with LED lights just sounds like a bad idea. Well, guess what? Your girlfriend doesn’t care because she’s taking selfies with every Snapchat filter, and she’s not gonna stop until your whole face melts.

And she’s always shaking her feet because she drinks too much coffee…

Kill Bill / Miramax

Your not Fred Flintstone, but you can make a bed rock! Am I right, bros? Sorry. I thought we could use a laugh. Why start now?! When she moved in, you expected serious seismic activity to occur in the place where the magic happens. Instead, the only thing shaking your bed frame is her restless leg syndrome. It feels like sitting on a dryer set to “permanent press.” If you wanted the “magic fingers” of a vibrating motel bed, you’d skip the nausea and just fall asleep on a chair in Brookstone.

Which explains why she gets up so often for the bathroom in the middle of the night…

The Fly / Fox Digital HD

Whenever she gets up, she makes a fuss and throws the blankets all over the place. If she’s gotta be awake, you gotta too. It’s like Shawshank Prison around here, I’m telling ya!

Some nights, she just won’t stop talking…

Reba / TV Land

She’s beside herself and just can’t figure out why her favorite contestant on ‘The Voice‘ joined Team Chuck Mangione instead of Team Yanni, and you know what? It’s a mystery to everybody else, too. Go to sleep!

Like, in her sleep, too…

Scream Queens / FOX

She’s either dream-admitting that she has FOMO or nightmare-singing that Aerosmith song from the movie ‘Armageddon.‘ Either way, I heard it’s not good to wake someone who’s quietly sleep-talking because they could wake up and talk even louder.

Oh, and farts, too…

Sex And The City / HBO

She farts. Your girlfriend farts. It’s a fact of life. Luckily, she only does it while she’s sleeping, because with great power comes great responsibility. If you had her… um, tone, you’d go to to zoo and scare all the animals. Seriously, a Motown R&B group just called and they want your girlfriend’s butt to be their new bassy baritone guy. Should I tell them “no” or “bum-bum, bum, yeahhhhhh?”

When she’s not using her body to make noise, she’s taking up the whole bed…

Titanic / Paramount Pictures 

In ‘Titanic,’ Rose gave Jack more room on that floating door than your girl gives you on your own bed. SPOILER ALERT: Jack dies. Don’t think that can’t happen to you.

Or hogging all the blankets…

The Tom and Jerry Show / Cartoon Network

After a long night of clinging to your comforter and losing the tug of war, you wake up with callused hands and you’re freezing to death. Look over at her, she’s swaddled hard like a burrito. She’s killing you slow. Pneumonia slow.

When her alarm goes off in the morning, she just keeps on hitting that snooze button…

The Princess and the Frog / Disney 

He body just attacks the alarm like Goro playing speed chess. That was a loaded simile, I’ll admit it. She’s unfazed, while you got a migraine and your pillows are empty because you ripped them open to get the feather, so you can jam them in your ears. You haven’t slept at all.

But when she finally does wake up, she’s  already looking flawless af…

Mad Men / AMC

Did you even notice that she wore such a beautiful dress to bed? She’s your girl. Ask questions, man. Find out why she’s decked out for a fancy party. What, is she dreaming of going to a Quinceañera again? See? That’s the whole thing. Maybe if you took more of an interest in what she’s doing, maybe she wouldn’t be trying to kill you so hard. This has been a real come to Jesus moment, but it’s showed us that you’re neglectful in your relationship. She’s a goddess. Worship her.

Meanwhile, this is me:

Tommy Boy / Paramount Pictures

Sleeping is the only thing that I’m good at. Without it, I’m just a dude yawning all day for no reason. Oh, and I get cranky. You wouldn’t like me when I’m cranky.


[H/T] The National Sleep Foundation: HOW MUCH SLEEP DO WE REALLY NEED?

READ: Here’s A List Of Things That Take Away Your Manhood

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One Latina Talks About Breaking Down The Walls Of Stigma In The Latinx Community

Fierce

One Latina Talks About Breaking Down The Walls Of Stigma In The Latinx Community

Maskot / Getty Images

In an ideal world, we would all play active roles in breaking down the mental health stigma. Dinner talks would be filled with

 “¿Mijo, cómo te has sentido?” 

“¿Cómo vas con tu medicina?” or

“¿Sigues yendo a yoga?” 

Showing emotion would be encouraged and vulnerability would be praised. 

But you and I both know, this isn’t the case when it comes to the world we live in. Growing up in the Central Valley, surrounded by what seemed like endless tomato fields, with two farm-working parents, I will be the first to admit that conversations about mental health were non-existent. Up until my last year of undergrad, I believed that anxiety attacks were an over-exaggeration of weak, pitiful people who couldn’t handle a little stress. Until of course, it happened to me. I suffered my first anxiety attack one night during my last semester at Fresno State. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced, and it changed my life forever. 

During the years that followed, I fought against cultural norms. For me, nothing else had worked, so I said ‘yes’ to therapy and anxiety medication, even when my family opposed it or didn’t quite understand it. It was hard. I felt misunderstood and out of place. I was conflicted about how people would judge me and my family if they found out that I sought outside help. 

But I am happy to report that things did get better. Therapy and medication helped tremendously, and my parents eventually came around to supporting my decision to seek help, primarily because they began to see the progress I was making. 

So yes, even though these conversations are tough, I believe they are absolutely necessary to ensure the wellbeing of our families and our future generations. Mental health conversations have to become an integral part of our families, especially within the cultural context.

There’s no doubt about it, the Latinx culture is beautiful! Its richness is felt in the music, food and strong family values. However, many aspects of the culture are not conducive for growth. Not being able to comfortably talk about our mental health because of the ensuing stigma is definitely one of them. Truth is, if we want to move our Latinx families forward, we must find ways to play a role in normalizing mental health conversations within our traditional families. There is no room for inaction. 

The good news is, you don’t have to be a hardcore mental health advocate to help! 

Empowered Bystanders Matter

We can choose to either be an empowered bystander or play an active role in this. Both can be equally important in normalizing these conversations. First, we must acknowledge that not everyone wants to be outspoken and actively pushing change forward. Regardless, empowered bystanders can still make a difference with what may seem like small insignificant acts. 

Here is how you can help as an empowered bystander: 

Withdraw from toxic dialogue.

Oftentimes within traditional family dynamics, we witness ideologies that are toxic for people experiencing mental health issues. Conversations in family reunions can sometimes be offensive and discouraging. As an empowered bystander, you have a choice to partake in this dialogue or completely withdraw from it. By simply choosing not to laugh at an offensive joke, for example, you take a subtle yet firm stance that you are not here for this, you do not agree with this behavior. 

Compare apples to apples.

You may not suffer from a mental health issue, but you can still observe and pinpoint opportunities for conversation. Hypothetically speaking, let’s say one of your siblings is contemplating taking medication for their mental health but is discouraged by your parent who says things like: 

“¡You don’t need that, you are not crazy,” or

“¡Que locuras! Mejor ponte a limpiar tu cuarto, es lo que debes de hacer!” 

As an empowered bystander, you have the power to respectfully interject and propose an idea like:

“Pa, how is that different from you taking your daily blood pressure medicine, you take that every day for you to function.”

In doing so, you suddenly propose a new thought, a new perspective. You don’t force change; you simply ask questions and initiate thoughtful conversations.  

For those of us who are personally impacted by mental health issues, and feel strongly about creating change, here is how you can help as an active participant: 

Embody and embrace the rebel persona. 

Within the cultural family context, we must acknowledge that taking an active role in breaking the mental health stigma often comes with feeling isolated. We will not always fit in. Understanding this upfront will make it easier to cope. We have to understand that our immediate family will not always be our frontline cheerleaders. This is 100% okay. Whether we receive support within our family or not, it is vital that we seek some type of support, through friendships or support groups. 

Be the example.

Do you suffer from a mental health issue? Do you take medication? Do you go to therapy? Living without shame and using your experiences to offer insight and a different perspective in conversations with folks is key to normalizing this subject within our families. Own your experiences, so they become the shining light for others struggling to find their voice. Showing them that you can thrive with your condition is the best type of education we can provide to our families.

To check out Your Story to Tell Academy’s Instagram go here.

Camila Mendes Shared That She Was Sexually Assaulted And Spoke About The Tattoo That Has Helped Her Heal

Entertainment

Camila Mendes Shared That She Was Sexually Assaulted And Spoke About The Tattoo That Has Helped Her Heal

@camimendes / Instagram

Camila Mendes recently revealed she is a sexual assault survivor. The 25-year-old “Riverdale” star opened up about her assault while attending college in the October issue of Women’s Health. Mendes, who covers the issue, has been an outspoken advocate of women’s issues. The Latin American actress has previously talked about her experience with disordered eating and body image issues. 

Unfortunately, Mendes isn’t the only “Riverdale” cast member who has dealt with abusive behavior. In 2017, Mendes’ co-star Lili Reinhart revealed that when she was a teenager when a man in a position of power attempted to force himself on her. At the time, Reinhart chose to remain silent in fear of retribution, losing her livelihood and ruining her reputation in Hollywood. 

While the #MeToo movement has unearthed dozens of accusations of abuses of power in Hollywood, for most women these abuses of power are commonplace at work, home, and school. 

According to RAINN, in the United States, about 23.1% of undergraduate females experience rape or sexual assault, while 5.4% of undergraduate males experience rape or sexual assault. Moreover, 11.2% of all college students experience rape or sexual assault. Consider that in 2017, there were roughly 19 million people enrolled in colleges in the United States— these numbers are alarming and illuminate the prevalence of sexual assault on campus. 

Camila Mendes covers Women’s Health

“This cover means so much to me. it took me a while to view self-confidence as a product of physical & mental health, instead of appearance and thinness. I’m grateful for the opportunity to spread that message; I could have used it way earlier in my life,” Mendes wrote on Instagram.  

Camila Mendes tells her story. 

While attending New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts, Mendes was slipped the common date rape drug colloquially known as a “roofie.” 

“I got the tattoo after my freshman year,” she says, of a tattoo above her rib that reads: to build a home. “I had a very, very bad experience; I was roofied by someone who sexually assaulted me.”

Mendes vowed from then on to only allow things that made her feel safe and comfortable into her life. She didn’t reveal much more about the experience, but she doesn’t have to. That’s the entire principle behind the #MeToo movement founded by Tarana Burke. All you have to do is say “me too” to a survivor, and it is the revelation, not the personal details, that provides comfort. 

“On one side, it’s a bold, declarative statement that, ‘I’m not ashamed,’ and ‘I’m not alone,'” Burke said. “On the other side, it’s a statement from survivor to survivor that says, ‘I see you, I hear you, I understand you and I’m here for you or I get it.'”

Sexual assault can be isolating and lonely, yet we are surrounded by survivors every day. 

On body positivity:

View this post on Instagram

link in bio ♥️

A post shared by camila mendes (@camimendes) on

In 2018, the Brazilian American actress opened up about her struggles with disordered eating and bulimia. 

“They feel like watching somebody else who has gone through it gives them hope that they can recover on their own and come to terms with their own problems,” Mendes said of the warm reception she received in sharing her struggles. 

“It’s something that’s still a curse to me. It’s not like that ever goes away. Whenever I do feel insecure, I go back to health. What can I do that’s healthy? Health is what’s important, not appearance. That mentality is what takes me out of the insecure, anxious thoughts.”

Latinxs and sexual assault:

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women supporting women

A post shared by camila mendes (@camimendes) on

According to the 2004 National Crime Victimization Survey, 1 in 6 Latinx females ages 13 and older are victims of sexual assault. 

The Office For Victims of Crime revealed that Latinx girls are more likely to stop attending school activities to avoid sexual harassment than other girls, that Latinx married women were less likely to identify forced sexual acts by their spouses as assault, and that 77 percent of Latinx women, surveyed by a 2009 Southern Poverty Law Center study, claimed sexual harassment was an issue at their workplace. 

And finally that, “For the increasing numbers of women who make the journey across the Mexico-U.S. border, rape has become so prevalent that many women take birth control pills or get shots before setting out to ensure that they won’t get pregnant.” 

When sexual assault survivors become more visible, no one can deny the collective trauma. Sexual violence affects men and women all over their world, it is only when survivors speak their truth that actionable change can happen. Yet, survivors are so often revictimized when they share their stories. Kudos to Mendes for sharing hers.