bad hombres

There’s A Guy Crowdsourcing $15,000 To Buy An Engagement Ring For His Girlfriend, But If I Can Raise The Money First, I’m Proposing To Her Instead

Mashable reported a story on William Oliver, the 30-year-old dude from Atlanta who’s trying to get anybody with an internet connection to help him pay for his girlfriend’s engagement ring. His GoFundMe page went viral and nobody’s really sure what to think about it.

Through his GoFundMe page, William’s asking family, friends, and internet strangers to buy his girlfriend a $15,000 engagement ring…

Screen Shot 2017-04-06 at 10.32.08 PM
 William Oliver / GoFundMe

I’m not saying she isn’t worth at least that much, but you’re only supposed to spend the equivalent of what you’d make in three months’ salary. If William arrived at 15K using the same man math as the rest of us, then he makes enough to not even need our help. Even if you can crowdsource the whole amount, there’s no way his girlfriend would be tacky enough to accept it, right?

The video he posted perfectly captures exactly why he feels that she’s worth it…

William Oliver / vimeo

William’s genuine reaction to being surprised by his girlfriend reveals an endearing vulnerability that gives potential donors a personal look into his relationship. Even to me, it felt genuine and for that, he deserves at least a warm Yelp! review.

But why would anybody want to give their money to William — I mean, what’s in it for us me?

Happy Gilmore / Universal Pictures

For argument’s sake, let’s say I’m indifferent. In my advanced age (30 for 30, like William), I have grown as jaded as I have always been cheap. For me to even consider donating the minimum amount, I’ll need something tangible to justify my contribution and offset my terminal case of buyer’s remorse.

So, if I help buy his girlfriend an engagement ring, I want to be the one to give it to her…

The Simpsons / FOX

I don’t know what kind of person she is, or even what she looks like. She sounds wonderful in the video, and even made a cute ’30 for 30′ joke — wait, does that mean she likes basketball? Oh, if she does, she’s probably a Hawk’s fan… That’s not a deal-breaker, I just feel sad for her because she’ll never get to see her favorite team win a championship during her entire lifetime.

All I know is that she lives in Atlanta, and effective immediately, I’m launching my own GoFundMe page…

WWE / YouTube

I, hereby set out to compete with her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, William in a race to bum money from strangers on the internet friends we haven’t met yet. First one to reach $15,000 gets to marry your girlfriend.

[H/T] Mashable: Dude tries to crowdfund a $15,000 engagement ring. Internet says, ‘Nope!’

READ: ’69’ And Other Ways Sex Has Done A Number On Me

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This Mexican Black Kingsnake Had A Layover On Its Way To Your Nightmares

bad hombres

This Mexican Black Kingsnake Had A Layover On Its Way To Your Nightmares

Phil Peak/ YouTube

Evening Standard reports that a huge Mexican black kingsnake had to be rescued after it was found in from a residential area of Neasden, London.

Although Mexican black kingsnakes are only native to the Americas, they’ve made their way to other parts of the world.

Phil Peak / YouTube

Not native to England, this terrifying snake is usually only found in regions of the Sonora Desert, Arizona, Northwestern Sinaloa, and Mexico says the report.

A huge one was found in the garden of a woman in northwest London and she called for backup.

conservsyndicate / YouTube

The woman who made the shocking discovery was stunned to find the scaly creature slithering in her garden. Instead of setting fire to her residential property and running away from that scaly nightmare, she called the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals to help save the day.

When the RSPCA arrived, they noticed that the snake was wounded…

Hard Target / Universal Pictures 

Although the snake looked like it had been attacked, it was not seriously injured. Specialists suspect a fox or a cat may have gotten a hold of it. My guess would have been that either Ice Cube or Jennifer Lopez were responsible, but maybe they only tangle with anacondas.

So they picked it up and took it to an animal hospital to treat it.

avianexoticsvet / YouTube

Collection officer Jill Sanders of the RSPCA goaded the reptile into a box and then took it to the specialist center to be cared for under professional supervision.

Experts think the snake was probably just being kept as a pet until it escaped.

TygerByte / YouTube

According to the article, when they aren’t jailbreaking themselves from vivariums, these serpents are pretty popular pets. They eat “small rodents, lizards, birds, eggs, and even other snakes,” so they’re actually pretty easy and fun to take care of — especially if you’re the kind of pet owner who likes feeding live animals to live animals.

[H/T] Evening Standard: Huge Mexican snake discovered in north-west London garden

READ: A New Spider Was Discovered In Baja California After Biting Someone, And It’s Bigger Than A Softball

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