bad hombres

If Someone Jumped Off The Top Rope And Hit You With Any Of These Wrestling Finishers, You’d Be Dead AF

WWE / YouTube

In the world of sports entertainment, there are wrestling moves, and there are high risk maneuvers. High flying wrestlers use gravity the way strikers involve their “educated feet.” The skill and balance required to perform these daredevil feats of athleticism are important to note, but what always makes top rope finishers the most talked about spots of the night is simple: they look awesome!

1) The Frog Splash


Used by the legendary Eddie Guerrero to win several titles throughout his career, including WWE No Way Out in 2004, when he captured the WWE Championship from the “Beast Incarnate” Brock Lesnar.

2) Top Rope Headbutt

WWE / Youtube

Bam Bam Bigelow was a bad man. The headbutt is one of the most brutal and primitive ways to inflict pain on someone else because if you’re doing it correctly, you’re probably hurting yourself at the same time. The stakes go up for you and your opponent as soon as you start climbing the turnbuckle, like “I see your concussion and raise you a forget-middle-school.”

3) The Moonsault


A signature move for the four-time Women’s Championship winner, Lita, as well as a multitude of others, from The Great Muta to the man they call Vader, and Hugh Morris, as well as “the Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels and Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle. It was invented in Mexico by Mando Guerrero, of the famous Guerrero family (the late Eddie Guerrero, his brother, and Latino wrestling icon Gory Guerrero, his father).

4) Top Rope Elbow Drop

WWE / YouTube

Randy Savage was huge for me when I was a kid. This next statement probably tells you everything you need to know about what kind of person I am, but I don’t mind admitting that I cut Macho Man-style promos to myself so I can be pumped up enough to deal with my fiancée’s mother. If we have to go to her house for dinner, the whole time I’m just imagining myself on the top rope with both arms above my head about to drop the elbow like a damn savage.

5) The 450 Splash

WWE / YouTube

Defined in the the dictionary as four hundred and fifty degrees of splash, probably. It is exactly what it sounds like, and it is one of the most badass-looking finishers in the business. It’s been a signature move of countless champions, such as Juventud Guerrera and 2 Cold Scorpio. Even Marc Mero looked cool as hell doing it.

6) The Superfly Splash

WWE / YouTube

When Jimmy Snuka jumped off the cage onto Don Muraco in Madison Square Garden, this big splash became the stuff of legend. What could be simpler than flinging your whole body at somebody with reckless abandon? Missing is a lot easier than you’d think. Factor in your fear of heights to add another level of difficulty. Oh, and then there’s the trying not to die part. Gravity makes fools of us all, so even if it doesn’t look as flashy as the 450 or the Moonsault, it’s just as dangerous and unforgivingly painful.

7) The Whoopee Cushion


Executed correctly, this top rope Banzai Drop looks devastating. Done poorly, you break your tailbone caving in your opponent’s chest. Many wrestlers have done variations of this move, but during the ’90s, Doink The Clown used it to terrorize the squared circle.

8) The Coup D’etat

WWE / YouTube

Jumping off the top rope onto your opponent’s chest like Mario crushes goombas seems like a pretty rude thing to do. It also seems terrifying and unbelievably painful. Currently, the “Demon King” Fin Balor has used this move to go from NXT, to WWE‘s main roster. Rest in peace, sternums.

9) The Guillotine Leg Drop

WWE / Youtube

My favorite cruiserweight wrestler in WCW was the airborne Mexican import Psicosis. His innovative style and profound technical savvy made his matches a must-watch every single week. His “Guillotine Leg Drop” seemed as surgical as it was violent. If Hulk Hogan‘s leg drop was could put his opponents down for the 1-2-3, Psicosis was putting his opponents down forever.

10) The Shooting Star Press

WWE / YouTube

So smooth-looking that it seems easy to do. It’s not. It was used by Billy Kidman as “the Seven Year Itch,” but I’ve always referred to it as “the Widowmaker” because I broke my collarbone attempting this move into an above ground pool from a flimsy tree branch. (Spoiler: I didn’t make it.) Oh! And this is pretty good time to mention that you should never try any of these at home.

11) The Swanton Bomb

WWE / YouTube

Made famous by Jeff Hardy during the Attitude Era in WWE, this spine-warping aerial maneuver is one of the most popular top rope finishers ever. My back hurts just writing about it. #TeamXtreme

12) The Phoenix Splash

WWE/ YouTube

Pioneered in Japan by the iconic Hayabusa, the corkscrew 450 continues to create “holy sh*t” moments to this day. Most recently, it’s been used on the grandest stage of them all by Seth Rollins at Wrestlemania.

13) The Red Arrow

WWE / YouTube

Currently used by “the Man Gravity Forgot” Adrian Neville. I saved this one for last because the gif I made for it was in slow-motion, and that’s the perfect speed to appropriately appreciate the technique and body control on display during this backflipping 360 splash.

READ: Here’s A List Of Wrestling Moves You Didn’t Know Were Invented By Latinos

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Your Phone Has A Built-InTracking Device, But Here's How That's A Good Thing

bad hombres

Your Phone Has A Built-InTracking Device, But Here’s How That’s A Good Thing

Coachella / YouTube

Over the weekend, a reported cell phone thief was brought to justice by Coachella attendees using the mobile app “Find My Phone.” A built-in feature that delivers vigilante justice? Phones, they can do a lot more than take pictures. The future is now, and it’s incredible!

If you lost your phone at Coachella last weekend, you can pick it up at the lost and found.

According to the LA Times, more than one hundred cellphones were recovered in the backpack of alleged smartphone bandit, Reinaldo De Jesus Henao, 36.

Thanks to ‘Find My Phone,’ the app that helps you locate your missing smartphone…

Terminator 2: Judgment Day / Sony

A bunch of people turned on their ‘find my phone’ app, and then followed the blip right to Reinaldo as he greedily continued his iphone-yoinking spree throughout the festival grounds.

Concertgoers were able to locate their belongings, and then point the suspect out to the authorities.

South Park / Comedy Central

Indio police Sgt. Dan Marshall said the folks who were missing their phones were able to point to the suspect, like “Hey, it’s that guy, my dot, it’s moving with that guy.”

Reinaldo was arrested on suspicion of grand theft and possession of stolen property.

Breaking Bad / AMC

While authorities report that several phones have been returned to their rightful owners, it remains to be seen whether or not the suspect was able to use one to call a lawyer.

[H/T]: LA Times: Coachella festivalgoers use ‘Find my iPhone’ app to locate man with 100 stolen cellphones, police say

READ: Miami Lawyer’s Hot Pants Create In-Seam Inferno

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